Dear Jeanne & Leonard: When I asked the music teacher at my son’s middle school if she could recommend a piano teacher or two for “Ethan,” she asked to think it over.
Then, a few days later, I heard from a friend of hers — a piano teacher who said he’d been told about Ethan and would be happy to give him lessons.
Am I correct in believing the teacher had no business passing out my name, and, if so, what should I do about it?
— Uneasy, Tucson
Dear Uneasy:
Count your blessings this woman doesn’t sell Amway.
Kidding aside, of course you’re right: Teachers shouldn’t be handing out students’ or students’ parents’ contact information to anyone, let alone to someone selling a service.
Still, you need to consider why this teacher did it. If you believe her intent was to pressure you into hiring her friend, then you should tell her principal about the situation.
But if you believe this woman was not trying to use her leverage as a teacher to throw business to a friend — if you believe her only crime was poor judgment — then, whether or not you decide to hire her friend, do the woman a favor: Nicely explain to her that she needs to have more respect for the privacy of the families with whose children she’s been entrusted. And just to be on the safe side, wait until Ethan is no longer her student.
Dear Jeanne & Leonard:
I am one in a group of four women friends, scattered around the country, who get together every year for a long weekend away from our families. This year, we’re meeting in Las Vegas, where my husband and I own a small timeshare.
The cost of upgrading to a unit that will accommodate the four of us is $240, and my question is, how much of the $240 should each of us pay? Two of the others want to divide it evenly among the four of us. Another believes she should have to pay only three-sevenths of her quarter, since she’ll be there only three of the seven nights I’ll have the larger unit. And I feel that since I’m contributing our timeshare, I shouldn’t have to pay anything toward the cost of the upgrade — that the other three women should pay $80 each. Who’s right?
— R.S., Southern California
Dear R.S.:
It must be a real treat to split checks with the friend who wants to pay by the night for something you have to rent by the week.
But to answer your question: If others in your group have hosted this get-together at homes of theirs, then you should be picking up the entire $240 by way of reciprocation. Also, if you’ve invited other friends or family to use the spare bedrooms after your Gang of Four has scattered, your friend who wants to pay only for the nights she’s in town has a point, our initial wisecrack about her notwithstanding.
However, if none of these conditions applies, yours is the winning argument: You’ve contributed your timeshare. The least the others can do is pay the cost of getting a larger unit.
