Dear Amy: Recently my daughter and I traveled several thousand miles via major airline. Due to various snafus, our luggage did not arrive at our destination at the same time we did.
We had conversations with airline representatives at the arrival airport, while we tried to sort out the problem. They said they would deliver the bags.
Later that afternoon, my daughter’s bag arrived, and inside was a handwritten note from someone, presumably one of the baggage claim reps, who said that he found her attractive and enjoyed talking with her. He wrote down his number and asked her to call.
I was stunned. She simply dismissed it.
I feel it was completely wrong for them to open her bag in the first place, since there was a tag clearly identifying the bag on the outside. I also felt it was so wrong to put in a personal note of ANY kind.
My daughter says I’m overreacting, but YUCK.
What do you think of this?
— Baggage Handler
Dear Handler: I have shared your question with the media representatives of two major airlines and also the Transport Workers Union, which represents baggage handlers. All have acknowledged receiving your question, but have not responded.
I assume that this behavior is not sanctioned, but happens from time to time.
The note was put into your daughter’s bag by airline or airport personnel AFTER it had been security screened and flown to its destination. (It’s also possible that the note had been placed in the bag by a third-party contractor at your destination airport.)
Because the bag was clearly tagged for delivery on the outside, I can’t imagine a valid reason to open it.
Yes, my response would be similar to yours, yuck.
If your daughter is an adult, she has the right to react to it on her own behalf.
However, depending on her age (and perhaps depending on who paid for her airline ticket and baggage fee), if you want to complain, you might take a picture of his note and forward it to the airport’s management, asking for a response or explanation.
Dear Amy: Over the past month, one of my closest friends and I have started to spend a lot more time talking. I’ve liked this person for several years, but for a while there were some obvious barriers to us being together (they were dating my other close friend).
It seems like we are finally on a good track, but the problem is we are both headed off to college this fall in different regions of the country.
It is exhausting being with this person and not telling them how I feel. I’d kick myself if they found a new partner at school, knowing I never even tried. On the other hand, I’m afraid that if I tell them now, I’ll wreck our friendship.
Is it worth telling them how I feel? I’m not sure about any romantic future, but I definitely want to continue the friendship.
— Out of Time
Dear Out of Time: When it comes to romance, timing really is everything. Using my “mom” voice here, I’ll tell you that it really isn’t the best idea to head off to college with a brand-new, long-distance romance on the burner. Promise yourself that you will approach your college experience with an open mind and heart.
I will also suggest that the anxiety and excitement of leaving home might be a factor in terms of the escalation of your romantic feelings for your friend.
Regardless, you don’t really have to make a declaration. You can circle around it and also possibly learn something from your friend.
You say, “Wow, we’ve really been talking a lot more lately! I’m going to miss that. I’ve been feeling a lot closer to you. Do you think we can keep up our conversation once we start school?”
Listen to the answer, keep in touch with each other, and see where your own life takes you.
Dear Amy: Hello! I happened to see that the exact same letter you ran (from “Disrespected DIL”) was also published in another advice column.
What’s your problem? Are you running out of material and taking from other columnists? How embarrassed are you?
— Caught You
Dear Caught: People occasionally submit their questions to multiple columnists at the same time. There is really no way to prevent it.
Yes, I do find this embarrassing, but I’m always interested to see how other columnists answer. In this case, our advice was in sync.
