Living with Alzheimer's: Household chores

Part four of 12.

Joan has always been a doer — not wasting time on hobbies or games. All her life she has looked for some task to do, some way to stay busy. That has not changed. However, now the task is often performed rather badly or even with negative consequences. (Remember the diaper-washing incident I described on Sunday in Part One?)

But she at least partly remembers doing some things, and I think it is important that she continues to do them. Sometimes I wonder what the neighbors think!

Joan has always assumed the Sunday responsibility for taking the garbage containers — those heavy green and blue ones with the wheels — down to the curb, about 100 feet.

She claims she does not have the energy to lift a dust rag or push a vacuum over the floor. But on Sunday, sometimes with a suggested nudge, she empties all the wastebaskets in the house, then maneuvers the garbage cans to the curb. On Monday, when they are empty, she brings them back alongside the house.

Similarly, fetching the mail is her responsibility. She, again, needs slight urging. She’ll look over the mail, find anything addressed to her and put it on top of the pile.

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Now she has decided that picking up the morning paper is her job. She may check several times, over and over, until it comes at about 6 a.m. Shame on me for saying this, but it has occurred to me that I could never get a dog to bring in the paper that way!

She spreads the Star out on the table and starts to read, usually with the cartoons. She often comments on what she doesn’t understand. With this and chores, I believe she feels she is contributing to the operation of the household and most likely feels rather good about that. But that’s just my interpretation.

Joan also makes any unmade bed she sees. That’s fine at home, but at a hotel she won’t check out until the bed is as neat as when we arrived.

One sometimes unfortunate sidelight to her desire to do household tasks is her behavior if we visit others, particularly for meals. Joan wants to help set and clear the table, but she does not understand what needs to be done and that the hosts would prefer to do it themselves. She cannot stop herself. It’s what comes naturally, and she cannot learn not to help.

Joan does these jobs out of habit, not out of real understanding. However, to me, it is good to keep her active.

Tomorrow: The difference between multi-tasking and single-tasking.