Think about your sphere of influence and all the people you know, and begin to filter them.

Who stand out as being likable, genuine, honest and well grounded? Who of those have a calming effect and are a pleasure to be around? Of those who remain, who makes an immediate and positive impression on virtually everyone they meet? Now, which of them are humble, yet confident?

By now, your list of contacts fitting these criteria may be very small. Clearly there is something special about these people. Their natural gift serves them well personally and professionally. What would happen if your clients and upper management held you in a higher regard than your peers? What is the limit of opportunities when your clients, staff, vendors and management recognize you as someone special?

Only the minority of people have this gift. Were they born with it or is it a result of their culture and upbringing? Can you develop these skills and if so, where would you start? The answer may be a scientific one.

When you take a genuine interest in someone’s life, it triggers the release of chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine in their brain. This makes them feel good and makes them inclined to trust you. Trust serves as the catalyst to developing close relationships. As they show appreciation for your concern, it releases chemicals in your brain, making you feel good. Physiologically, these chemicals are addicting, which serves as the fuel you need to continue showing empathy for others.

In our next Biz Tip article, we will examine ways to become more empathetic.


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Bill Nordbrock is vice president of community relations for SCORE Southern Arizona, a nonprofit that offers free small-business counseling. For more information, go to southernarizona.score.org or call 520-505-3636.