Often people think the first indicator of Alzheimer’s memory loss is an inability to a name others. I plead with folks to avoid introducing themselves by saying, “Know who I am?”
When my wife, Joan, cannot recall your name, she is obviously confused and a bit upset. I had to discover that.
My suggestion is that people greet Joan by saying something specific about her. Or you might simply say, “It’s nice to see you.” She is likely to respond with some comment about your appearance: “I love your pin,” or, “That’s such a nice blouse.” She’ll go on with other small talk that she has used over the years: “What do you do?” Joan sees each person as someone special, particularly if she sees them often. She loves hugs!
Even when we visit our daughter and grandchildren, with whom we have had frequent visits for years, the experience is wonderful, but the names are missing!
I don’t recall when this lack of remembering names of close family started, but I think it was among the first signs when Joan’s memory loss started in 2005.
With all of this, family events remain important. They tend to last a few hours, and that gives Joan time to be reminded of familiar surroundings. She can’t name relatives, but she knows them anyway!
Joan has always been social, and that has not changed. When we recently got our hair cut, I went first and Joan remained in the waiting area. It wasn’t long before I could hear laughter as she talked with other customers.
Our names are important to us, properly so. However, when Joan encounters you and has no idea what your name is, she still senses that you are special. Her behavior still reflects her lifelong belief in the goodness of others. So as she relates to “nameless” others, it illustrates that there’s much more to us than our name!
