Everyone should read to their kids, especially during this election year when there’s such a wonderful selection of kids’ books about the topic; books such as “Builder Bob Builds a Border Wall” or ‘Goodnight, Capitalism!’ by Bernie Sanders.
Let’s listen as Little Timmy’s mom reads to him.
“What would you like to hear tonight, Little Timmy?”
“The boy who cried, ‘They’re Coming for Our Guns!’”
“Oh, little Timmy, you know we’ve already read that so many times we know it by heart!”
“I know! But I love the part where the big bad Obama says, ‘Open your doors and give me a-a-all your guns or I’ll huff and I-I-I’ll puff and I’ll blo-o-o-ow your house down!’”
“Isn’t there a different fairy tale we could read? Something light like ‘Pinocchio and the Fact Checkers’ or ‘The Ant and the Lazy Welfare Cheat’ or how about ‘Chicken Little Investigates Benghazi’?”
“I know what I want to hear, mommy! ‘Amnesty, Amnesty!’”
“I like that one, too, darling, but, to be perfectly honest, dear, — I’m a bit tired of —”
“Amnesty, Amnesty!”
“That’s enough, dear. I haven’t even said the words ‘common-sense immigration reform,’ for goodness sakes.”
“Amnesty, Amnesty!”
“I know how much you love that game, Timmy, but we have to pick out a bedtime story, mister. Think of another book.”
“ I know! ‘Make America Great Again’! ‘Donald Trump’s Hu-u-u-u-uge Collection of Phenomenal Fairy Tales’!”
“Okay. Let’s start with ‘Little Red Riding Hoodie’ by Mr. Donald Trump.” She opened to the first page and read the words aloud:
“One day little Red put on her hoodie and went riding to see her grandma. She had a carrot in her basket that a policeman mistook for a gun. He shot her. The police department framed a black wolf. It happens. Losers. Yay, guns. Bam. The End.’
“I love how Donald writes. Such grace!”
“Read me another one! How about ‘Cinderella Doesn’t Need Equal Pay’ or ‘Snow White Privilege’? I love that one!”
“I can’t, darling. You’re too young. I don’t like the way our beloved Mr. Trump talks about girls. Especially Megyn Kelly.”
Little Timmy sat up and recited the notorious rhyme as loud as he could.
“Megyn Kelly thinks she’s so smart! And she thinks she’s so clever!
Is she bleeding out her eyes ? Is she bleeding out her wherever?”
“Mommy why do you wear a black armband with a big ‘T’ inside the white circle?”
“Because we love Donald. And the Homeland. And what are we going to do for the Homeland?”
Together Little Timmy and his mom said, “Make America great again!”
“Mommy, why does your tattoo say ‘MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN’?”
“Silly mommy! We’ll save that story for another night. It’s time to go to sleep.”
“How about a lullaby, mommy? The one that sounds like ‘The Battle Hymn of the Republic’?”
“Well, I guess I could sing just one lullaby.” She tucked him in, dimmed the light and sang softly beneath the huge portrait of Mr. Trump that hung over Timmy’s bed.
“Our eyes have seen the glory of the running of the Trump! He is cleaning out our party, and the press can kiss his rump! When he took on the media he got a percentage bump! The Muslims will soon be gone!
He’s a birther and a show host and a billionaire tycoon,
He was born in New York City chompin’ on a silver spoon,
He’s a racist and a sexist and we all love to sing his tune,
Trump’s truth is marching on!
Glory, glory, what’s it to ya?
Mexico is out to screw ya’!
Hey, China, we got news for ya’!
His truth is marching on!
Trump warned us that Ted Cruz wasn’t born in the right nation!
Just look at Fiorina’s face! Why it’s an abomination!
Looks like poor low-energy Jeb just lost the nomination!
The Muslims will soon be gone!
Little Timmy closed his eyes and smiled. He was thinking of Sarah Palin in a cheerleader outfit. Mommy sang softly.
“Donald Trump is number one because he says he can’t be beat,
He never apologizes and he never accepts defeat
We all know that it’s true because we read it in his tweets
His truth is marching on!
We have seen him in the warm light of a thousand TV shows; He’s the guy who says, ‘You’re fired,’ no one dares to tell him ‘No’
’Cause he tells it like it is, over the cliff we’ll go! Our Trump is marching on!”
