Local opinion: Teachers don't perform surgeries

The following is the opinion and analysis of the writer:

I was at the Desert Museum a few weeks ago for their Teacher Appreciation Night — thank you, Desert Museum, for a well-orchestrated event. I overheard two children arguing about YouTube. A girl who was about 9, was debating her brother, who was about 6. The boy insisted that YouTube is a source for “real” information, and the girl made a solid argument that YouTube is not, in fact, “news.” Her arguments fell on deaf ears.

I recalled the incident last week, when I read a letter to the editor about gender reassignment. I have read the letter four times and still can’t decide if the writer was being facetious (as I hope is the case), or truly believes that “children could have their gender surgically reassigned while attending school”. Regardless, somehow, we have gotten to the point where, astonishingly, many people in this country do believe that to be the case, are outraged and once again, educators are pilloried because of lies and ignorance spread on social media.

No, such surgeries are not taking place in schools, and taxpayers are not paying for said surgeries. The very notion is well-beyond ludicrous, even by today’s appallingly low bar for the luncacies daily regurgitated at Americans as “news”.

TUSD teachers have a 40-minute lunch break, which is closer to 30 after time-factored walking classes to and from the cafeteria/playground is subtracted. Some teachers eat at this time. Some make copies for the afternoon lessons, stop by the office to take care of business, check the emails that never stop coming, and set up the classroom for the latter half of the day. I’ve found most do a combination of all of the above. I have yet to meet the teacher who can garb up, assist in a major surgery, clean up, and get back to class in just over half an hour. Before school, we are putting together lesson plans and lessons, attending meetings with parents and colleagues, at times monitoring students, and again, attending to the deluge of emails, Reminds, and Class Dojo messages filling out inboxes. And after school? Really? I am always in awe of the teachers who have the energy to exercise after school, or to go into Round Two: picking up their own children, taking them to practices, figuring out dinner, dealing with family drama, helping with homework and getting everyone to bed. I can barely manage three dogs, a stubborn tortoise and sort out dinner with my wife. After-school transgender surgeries ... not happening.

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However, we are professionally trained how to safely deal with students who have seizures. We are also trained how to utilize an EpiPen, should a student experience a severe allergic reaction, (also known as anaphylaxis). We are trained how to safely administer Albuterol, should a student suffer from the effects of asthma or COPD. Educators are required to sign a sheet to prove the trainings have been completed, and I can assure you, none of us take the trainings lightly.

Technically, we are not supposed to take tweezers to splinters or cactus needles, as this is considered to be a “minor surgery”, and students who need assistance of that nature are sent to the Health Office. The scrapes, bumps, loose teeth and litany of boo-boos teachers tackle is endless; in those regards, I feel I am a pediatrician on a daily basis.

The closest we come to being trained to perform an actual surgery is when the School Resource Officer, or TPD, trains the staff how to tend to a stab wound—how to use clothes to create and apply a tourniquet around an impaled weapon. It’s an annual sobering reminder that if, God forbid, teachers need to be true heroes, we always step up to the plate and do whatever it takes to protect our children.

So, next time someone tries to tell you that surgeries are being conducted at schools because they saw it on YouTube, please refer them to a teacher: surely, they have a neighbor, family member or friend who is one. Or, at the very least, refer them to a 9-year-old with some common sense.