We need to talk about suicide. The deaths by suicide this week of chef and writer Anthony Bourdain and designer Kate Spade were of two people well known enough to make many of us feel that we lost someone we knew.
Of course, we knew an image. We didn’t know the person. Despair can wear many faces.
We need to talk about how to help people who are suffering with mental illness. We need to talk about how to help people deal with life’s setbacks in ways that don’t lead to the conclusion that killing yourself is an option.
We need to talk about how to help each other.
We need to talk about how to help ourselves.
But there are potential dangers in reporting and writing about suicide, because, as research has shown, “certain types of news coverage can increase the likelihood of suicide in vulnerable individuals.
“The magnitude of the increase is related to the amount, duration and prominence of coverage,” according to ReportingOnSuicide.org.
Don’t report or investigate on suicide “similarly to reporting on crimes.” And don’t describe a suicide attempt as a “failed” or “unsuccessful” suicide attempt. Death is not success.
The organization advises that media not sensationalize headlines or coverage, or include the method of death; don’t focus on grieving family, friends or memorials that glorify the person or the act of suicide; don’t talk about how they’re finally at peace, or other language that could be heard by a vulnerable person as viewing suicide as a solution.
Clearly, not every news outlet is heeding the advice.
Suicide is a public health issue, and it’s urgent.
It’s been on the rise in almost every state over the past two decades, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Nearly 45,000 people killed themselves in 2016, the CDC says.
A few years back I took the Mental Health First Aid course from the agency now known as Community Partners. We were taught that if someone is exhibiting concerning signs — things like talking about great guilt or shame; talking about feeling trapped or feeling that there are no solutions, or being a burden; withdrawing or being agitated — ask them about it.
Start a conversation.
And don’t worry that you’re going to give a person the idea of suicide, because you’re not. Silence is not the better option.
Listen, without judgment, and without trying to dismiss the person’s words with a “you don’t mean that,” or “it’s not that bad.” It won’t make the person feel better, only dismissed. Instead, offer reassurance and help.
Mental health issues do play a role in suicide, but, as a new study from the CDC explores, 54 percent of those who killed themselves did “not have a previously known mental health issue,” according to an NPR report.
“Instead, these folks were suffering from other issues, such as relationship problems, substance misuse, physical health problems, job or financial problems, and recent crises or things that were coming up in their lives that they were anticipating,” said Deborah Stone, lead author of the study.
Guns were used in almost half of the self-inflicted deaths. Please, if you are worried a person might harm himself or herself, remove their access to firearms and other lethal means.
So, yes, we must, in our own circles and communities, talk about suicide, about how you’re feeling. Person to person. There is help out there. It’s OK to need help. And it’s OK to ask for it.
