The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer.
After watching Thursday night’s lovely thunderstorm I had some questions about lightning. So I talked to my pal, lightning expert Dave Firestine. “Hey, Dave. You’re a lightning expert, right? I know this might shock you but I have some questions.”
“Not really an expert, but sure, and there’s a one-pun limit.”
“Why does Tucson get such spectacular lightning shows?”
“The West is special.”
“I always get a charge out of talking to you, Dave.”
“You’re over the pun limit, sparky.”
“Sorry, Dave.”
“The West is special because the electrified clouds are often isolated. The ceilings are higher, so the lightning bolts have further to go to the ground. This adds up to more visible lightning. And we have spectacular backdrops to this spectacular display.”
“What got you interested in lightning? Weirdo.”
“It was my first trip to Tucson. We were driving across Arizona in a friend’s ’58 Chevy panel truck. In front of us, the horizon was filled with lightning. We cruised along, watching the awesome show light up the sky.”
“Electrifying?”
“That’s three.”
“Question! What’s a lightning bolt? And is there such a thing as ‘lightning nut’ to go with the lightning bolt?“
“Bolts exist, and we are the nuts who study and revere it.”
“Good one, Dave. Zeus is watching you.”
“I’ve studied lightning for 33 years with scientists, engineers, and analysts … observing lightning, doing training seminars, hanging out with research scientists at lightning conferences.”
“That’s great Dave, but tell me something. Did you ever bolt from a lightning conference?”
“That’s four.”
“What exactly do you do?“
“I worked with a company that was started by two scientists, Phil Krider and Martin Uman. We built systems that determined where lighting was hitting the ground using magnetic and electric field signals. We measured the strength of each lightning bolt, and the polarity, positive or negative, of the charge moving from the cloud to the ground.”
“I’m faking understanding, Dave.”
“No doubt. … Have you seen lightning that looks like it is stuttering? That’s a flash that has many strokes, all hitting the same lucky place.”
“Great, Jimmy Neutron. Name the different kinds of lightning.”
“The forest industry and others are interested in ‘Cloud to Ground’ lightning. There is also some ‘Ground to Cloud’ lightning, usually starting at a tall tower. There is a lot of lightning that just happens within clouds, called ‘cloud lightning.’”
“Clever name. ‘Cloud Lightning.’”
“Pilots care about this. Probably the rarest type of lightning is ball lightning. This appears as a glowing ball floating along. Scientists are trying to reproduce this in labs. Maybe it will be an app someday. In the upper atmosphere, the mesosphere, there are also events called elves and sprites. SPRITE stands for Stratospheric/Mesospheric Perturbations Resulting from Intense Thunderstorm Electrification.”
“Did you go to Hogwarts for a semester?”
“Two semesters … did you know ELVE stands for Emissions of Light and VLF perturbations from EMP events?”
“Thanks, Dr. Dumbledore. Question. Where is the safest place to be in a lightning storm?”
“A building is best, but not in the shower, or washing dishes. Or on a corded phone — do they still exist?”
I asked Dave how much electricity was unleashed during a typical storm.
“Each strike lasts for only 30 to 50 milliseconds and can have from 5,000 to 200,000 amperes of current. The average is around 30,000 amps. Nature’s first version of a quick charge.”
“What’s the best way to calculate your distance from lightning strike?”
“Counting five seconds a mile is a rough measure that works. However, each strike has its own mind. My rule is: If I can hear the thunder, most of the time I get out of the pool.”
Dave’s a gifted musician who was in an Irish band called Round the House for many years. That’s how I met him. These days he performs with STEAM! and Puca and The Wild Ones.
Tucson’s monsoon light shows were the best because you don’t have to sit through endless previews of coming attractions. You just need to be safe. I asked Dave if I was safe under a tree during a lightning storm.
“Not a good idea. Oak trees, and other trees with gnarly bark…the bark can become shrapnel when the sap is vaporized.“
“Am I safe in an open field?”
“Get low, one foot on the ground.”
“What if I’m close to a priest who just cursed a poor putt on a golf course?”
“Hold up your one iron … even God can’t hit a one iron.”
“Storm’s over, Mr. Science. Thanks for the lightning round, my friend. I gotta bolt.”
