Their friendship revolves around swimming. It’s how it started. It’s how they bonded.
Yet, for UA assistant swim coach Jesse Stipek and U.S. Olympic champions Nathan Adrian and Matt Grevers, it goes much deeper than that.
They are family.
Stipek and Adrian met first. Twenty years ago, Adrian was looking for a new swim club that would challenge him. He found one 40 minutes away in Stipek’s hometown of University Place, Washington, just west of Tacoma.
The two quickly became best friends. Adrian would live with the Stipeks in the summers while training.
“An interesting component is how caring his family is,” Adrian said. “They treated me like a son and still do. His dad (Mike) sends me Halloween packages with a card that he draws and decorates. Their thoughtfulness knows no bounds.”
University of Arizona swimming coach Augie Busch, left, and assistant coach Jesse Stipek watch swimmers work out at Hillenbrand Aquatic Center on the UA campus.
Adrian would go on to swim collegiately at Cal, while Stipek swam at Wisconsin.
Stipek was a backstroker, in both the 100- and 200-yard events. He was a top-10 finisher in Big Ten swimming Championships in his junior and senior year in the 100; and a 2012 Olympic Trial Qualifier.
Adrian was the sprinter. He was a five-time NCAA champion in the 100-meter and 50-meter freestyle and has gone on to win five Olympic gold medals, one silver and two bronzes — and numerous World Championship medals.
Stipek knew early on that Adrian was destined for greatness. “It was pretty obvious. Nathan is obviously a phenomenal swimmer, and he’s always been talented and tenacious.”
And while they weren’t living in the same city — or house — it’s like they didn’t miss a beat. They would hang out during breaks in college and talk a few times a week. They are still very much involved in each other’s lives today despite the distance.
Olympic swimmers Nathan Adrian, left, and Matt Grevers chat at the Golden Goggle Awards in November 2015.
“I think a lot of it (our relationship) was just he hasn’t changed at all — he has changed as a person, obviously, but hasn’t changed as far as those core values,” Stipek said, who is finishing up his doctorate in educational policy studies and practice. “I think from that bond, understanding one another there’s never been a position where I’ve questioned anything that he’s ever done or his morals, because I always know he’s going to make the correct decisions. I think a lot of ways (we) complement each other. You grow around people you want to be like and emulate.”
Adrian, 31, has been an elite swimmer for a long time. He made his first Olympic team when he was 19. He’s been competing for more than 20 years — a lot of wear and tear on his body especially for a sprinter where hundredths of a second is the difference between first, second and third. However, Adrian’s approach has always been consistent.
“The thing that always struck me about him is regardless of how he swims, he’s always been the same person. It’s a bad swim, he moves on. It’s behind him; he doesn’t dwell on it and (he) gets ready for the next thing. I think that’s how he treats life as well,” Stipek said.
“What you see on TV is what you get — very humble, conducts himself very respectable. I remember an interview that was done with him. And the first question he asked was ‘Do you mind if I keep my sunglasses on?’ Because that’s just kind of him in a nutshell. He’s always thinking about who’s around him.”
For Adrian, his relationship with Stipek has always come with ease, and it’s been natural from the beginning. There is an unspoken bond between the two of them. When one needs help, the other is there. They rely on each other.
Last year when Adrian was diagnosed with testicular cancer, Stipek was one of his first calls.
Nathan Adrian, right, looks at his time with Matt Grevers after competing in the men’s 50 free in a 2013 event.
“There are certain people you want it to come from your mouth, not read it on Instagram, and Jesse is that person for me,” Adrian said. “He’s such a good and thoughtful person. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who gives so much.
“He would take my cancer himself, if he could, but that’s not an option. I’m not someone who needed people to baby me, but he was there if I needed to talk.”
Adrian is under close medical surveillance this year. If nothing shows up, he is clear.
Adrian and Grevers, who is now a UA volunteer coach, met as members of Team USA at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. Grevers, who has long trained in Tucson, swims the backstroke, butterfly and freestyle and has won 36 medals in international competition.
United States’ Matt Grevers reacts after his swim in the men’s 100m backstroke semifinal at the World Swimming Championships in Gwangju, South Korea, Monday, July 22, 2019. (AP Photo/Mark Schiefelbein)
This was another quick connection. When they don’t get private rooms for international competitions, they like to be roommates.
“Nathan’s laugh lights up the entire room — he’s always trying to be a positive influence,” Grevers said. “It’s easy to be friends with him — we have similar priorities.”
Grevers was coached by former UA swimming coach Rick DeMont for 10 years. DeMont brought on Stipek to help mentor Grevers. By the time DeMont retired, Stipek had proved he was the right coach for Grevers.
“Jesse earned Matt’s trust — he saw how hard he worked, the effort he puts in whether it was in school, coaching or volunteering (in the past as a tutor for elementary and high school refugees for Social Services of the Southwest),” Adrian said. “There are so many ways he goes above and beyond. He is a person you trust with your career.”
In what could have been a scary time for Grevers — finding a new coach — it was a fairly seamless transition as the two had already formed a bond, both on and off the pool deck.
“Jesse puts in the effort and is always inquisitive, even though he has elite knowledge in coaching,” said Grevers, 35.
Nathan Adrian of United States competes in men’s swimming 50m freestyle at the Pan American Games in Lima, Peru, Friday, Aug. 9, 2019. (AP Photo/Fernando Llano)
“I’ve always been coached by friends and I love it. It’s important for my swimming. Sometimes it’s hard to just swim for myself. It’s good to have success for a coach and I want to swim for Jesse. He is very generous, caring and very rational. He’s always good at making the right decisions in the right circumstances.
“I’ve always been driven on day-to-day stuff, but I need long-term motivation. Jesse is the planner. ... He’s the brains behind it. He lets me turn off my brain so I can focus on swimming.”
Grevers and Stipek have been working together for seven years. To have someone in your corner like Stipek when you are considered an older swimmer, is even more of an advantage.
Grevers now has two children — the youngest was born in December — so he may be lacking in sleep and energy some days and may just need more recovery time. Stipek takes this into account in training and knows when to push and when to back off.
For Grevers, Stipek and Adrian are the ones he turns to in those stressful and high-pressure moments that swimmers face. Grevers said, “They are solid dudes; they are giving; they are smart and mature. They are always teaching me, and they are sturdy in their beliefs.”
