You've heard of Fodor's travel guides? Well here's FodOrd's guide to a fastball-smacking, sun-soaking, grub-munching history lesson of a voyage into the Cactus League. It is a three-day whirlwind tour — five games, five stadiums and nine teams — with what to see, where to go and what to eat.
March 15 — Thursday
Start the trip with breakfast at Frank's (3843 E. Pima St., 881-2710, www.franksrestaurant.com). Frank's opens at 6 a.m. on Thursdays, giving you three hours to squeeze in the "Early Morning 'If you are here before 9 a.m' Special." Two eggs (any style), home fries or hash browns and biscuit, toast or a tortilla for a price that can't be beat ($1.50).
Visit the Reid Park Zoo (South Randolph Way between Broadway and 22nd Street, 791-4022, www.tucsonzoo.org). It opens at 9 a.m. and it's only a Ruthian home run from Hi Corbett Field. Get there early to hear the lar gibbons hoot. They are louder than an umpire when he bellows "strike three." Plus, the zoo is your only chance to see Tigers (they're from Indochina, not Detroit) in the Cactus League.
Partake in an early lunch at Lerua's Fine Mexican Food (2005 E. Broadway, 624-0322). Everyone knows, good things often come in small Mexican restaurant packages. The establishment, which opens at 10:30 a.m., proves it. It is less than 2 miles from Hi Corbett Field. There are only a few tables, and sometimes you have to squeeze in, but it's worth it. The No. 4 (go with green-corn tamale) gives you a wonderful variety for $9.95. Don't forget to order Jamaica — a tea-like drink made from the hibiscus flower. You will find it a nice change from all the soft drinks or beer you will be having at the many parks over the next few days.
Game 1: A's vs. Rockies, 1:05 p.m., Tucson. (Hi Corbett Field, 3400 E. Camino Campestre, 1-800-388-7625, www.rockies.mlb.com). They've been playing baseball on this site, in one shape or another, since 1928. Hi Corbett Field brought us the birth of "Super" Joe Charboneau — the 1980 American League Rookie of the Year who could open beer bottles with his eye socket — the opening act of the movie "Major League" and decades of professional baseball in Arizona before the Diamondbacks were even a twinkle in Jerry Colangelo's eye. Need a bite to tide you over for the final few innings: Try a Rockie dog or a brat with the works. The latter is so full of scrumptiousness that you will need a fork to tame it.
Option 2: Rangers vs. Diamondbacks, 1:05 p.m., Tucson. (Tucson Electric Park, 2500 E. Ajo Way, 1-866-672-1343, www.diamondbacks.mlb.com).
Now jump in your car and head up I-10 to Phoenix. Wondering how to pass the time? Try what I like to call Baseball Plate (or BP) Scramble. First, look at all the letters on the license plate of the car in front of you. If you can use all of those letters (in any order) to help form the name of a past or present major-leaguer, take a point. Add two more points if the player once competed for a team in the state on the plate. Add three more points if the player's uniform number is included in the numbers on the plate. For example: If you see an Arizona license plate (imaginary in this case) with 20-GNLZ and say "Luis Gonzalez," you just picked up six points — one for his name, two because he played for the Diamondbacks and three thanks to the fact that he wore No. 20.
The duration for each scramble is how long you stay behind the car (which could be an eternity if you get caught in that squeeze around Ahwatukee) or a minute, whichever comes first. The winner is the person with the most points by the time you first stop in the Phoenix area.
If you've got time (or the game gets rained out), stop by: the ball court at Casa Grande Ruins National Monument (1100 W. Ruins Drive in Coolidge, 1-520-723-3172, www.nps.gov/cagr). OK, so they didn't exactly play baseball there, and they haven't played there for about five centuries (i.e., when Roger Clemens was a rookie), but the court and the four-story "Big House" are worth a stop. Heck, even the roof that covers the massive ruin is considered an architectural wonder. Traveler's tip: Casa Grande is not in Casa Grande; it's in Coolidge. Birder's tip: Look up into the infrastructure of the roof for an owl that often sits there.
Grab early dinner at Park Central Deli in Phoenix (3110 N. Central Ave., in Park Central Mall, 1-602-277-4783, www.parkcentraldeli.com). Everything is good. It's open until 7 p.m. on Thursdays. The best deal is the "What A Meal," which used to be called the "Light Meal." You get a bowl (not a cup) of soup, a half-sandwich stacked about as high as a baseball (go with the Straw) and numerous tong-fuls of fries for $7.95. You might need a closer to finish off this masterpiece. Pick up a little container of horseradish, add mustard and put it on anything you got (well, maybe, not the soup).
Stay at Red Roof Inn Phoenix Airport. (2135 W. 15th St. in Tempe, off I-10 at Exit 153b, 1-480-449-3205, redroof.com). This hotel is a little hard to find initially (check out the Web site for exact directions), but you are not going to find a much better combination of price, quality and central location in Phoenix at this time of the year. You can stop by and check in before you head north for the trip's second game. Added bonus: They have a machine that makes free cups of instant hot drinks. Try the hot chocolate when you get back from the game.
Game 2: Giants at Mariners, 7:05 p.m., Peoria. (Peoria Sports Complex, 15707 N. 83rd Ave., 1-623-773-8720, www.mariners.mlb.com). Do not, I repeat do not, take the Bell Road exit off I-17. That is unless you want to drive forever with more lights than the most major-league stadium scoreboards and pass every franchise known to man. Instead take I-10 to the 101 to Peoria. It looks a lot longer, but is more hassle-free. PSC (no relation to PS2 or PS3) was the first of the now-in-fashion two-team stadiums. Try to get seats in the front row along the lines because there's excellent foul ball action and you can put your feet up on the railing. If you're really lucky, maybe one of the relievers will come by and untie your shoelaces.
March 16 — Friday
Enjoy breakfast at Bill Johnson's Big Apple Restaurant, Phoenix (3757 E. Van Buren St., 1-602-275-2107, www.billjohnsons.com). There are six locations throughout the Phoenix area, but you must go to the original. Who doesn't love a place that has sawdust on the floor and wanted posters — "Johnny Ringo, $5,000 Dead or Alive." Their motto is "Let's Eat." Get the half-order of "Chicken Fried Steak 'n' Eggs" ($6.99) because a full order is Grand Canyon-size.
Visit Alcor Life Extension Foundation, Scottsdale. (7895 E. Acoma Drive, Suite 110, 1-480-905-1906, www.alcor.org). What's this place have to do with baseball, you say? The head and body (in separate containers, we're told) of hitting great Ted Williams are said to be at this cryogenics facility. The Web site says they have tours from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Fridays, but you must fill out an application online.
Savor a finger-licking lunch at Honey Bear's BBQ, Phoenix (5012 E. Van Buren St., 1-602-273-9148, www.honeybearsbbq.com). This eatery, which is not far from Phoenix Municipal Stadium, is open at 10 a.m. At the risk of there being accusations that this story is obsessed with slogans of eating establishments, here's Honey Bear's motto: "You don't need no teeth to eat our meat!" But don't be toothless when it comes to ordering. Get the combo sandwich (any two meats, but the pork and hot links are more smoking than a 99 mph fastball) for $4.50. Add an order each of potato salad ($1.25) and cowbro beans ($1.50). Don't let all the pictures of Arizona Cardinals owner Bill Bidwill turn your stomach, and chow down.
Game 3: Brewers vs. Angels, 1:05 p.m., Tempe. (Tempe Diablo Stadium, 2200 W. Alameda Drive, 321-1000, www.angels.mlb.com) Go for a ticket on the first base side so you can get a good view of the buttes looming over the home of, during this month, the Los Angeles Angels of Tempe. They will be taking on the original inhabitants of the stadium — the Milwaukee Brewers, who were originally called the Seattle Pilots. Let's turn back the clock to late spring training 1970 and do a little role playing. It's April 1 and you are the truck driver in charge of transporting the equipment from Tempe to Seattle. But they tell you to stop in Salt Lake City (or Denver or Las Vegas or Provo, Utah — the legend seems vague on which city) and await a call just six days before opening day. After much legal hassling, the Pilots are declared bankrupt, and you get a phone call to make a right turn and head east because you are now the Milwaukee Brewers' equipment- truck driver. If that isn't great Cactus League lore, I don't know what is.
Option 2: Rockies vs. Giants, 1:05 p.m., Scottsdale. (Scottsdale Stadium, 7408 E. Osborn Road, 1-877-473-4849, www.giants.mlb.com).
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If you've got time (or the game gets rained out), stop by: Hall of Fame umpire Jocko Conlan's grave at Green Acres Cemetery in Scottsdale (401 N. Hayden Road, 1-480-945-2654). He is in the Love Section (note the irony considering his profession), Lot 39. Conlan, one of eight umpires in the Hall of Fame, worked six World Series and six All-Star Games in 24 years of service. Artist Norman Rockwell used an on-field argument involving Conlan to paint his famous rainy-day argument. Love 'em or hate 'em, the game and its fans owe a great debt of gratitude to the men in blue.
Enjoy dinner at the Pink Pony Steakhouse, Scottsdale, (3831 N. Scottsdale Road, 1-480-945-6697) and then walk up the street and have ice cream at the Sugar Bowl, Scottsdale (4005 N. Scottsdale Road, 1-480-946-0051). Sports Illustrated once called the Pink Pony "the most famous baseball bar in the civilized world." Many trades found their geneses right here in a place that has the home plate from the original Scottsdale Stadium hanging on the wall. Do not expect to see Los Dos Barrys (Bonds and Zito) dropping in, but it still has its charm. You may remember the Sugar Bowl from Family Circus comics. The artist, Bil Keane, often used the swathed-in-pink ice cream parlor in his one-frame cartoon. Each visit assuredly includes ice cream spillage by you as well as by Billy, Dolly, Jeffy and/or PJ.
Game 4: Diamondbacks vs. A's, 7:05 p.m., Phoenix. (Phoenix Municipal Stadium, 5999 E. Van Buren St., 1-877-493-2255, www.athletics.mlb.com). They renovated this stadium in 2005, four decades after it was originally built. When you hear "renovated" connected to baseball stadiums, it usually means "ruined the old charm." But Phoenix Muni, as we oldsters who watched Willie Mays play there like to call it, still embraces many of the qualities of the original edifice. The grandstand still has its cobblestone walls and a sharply oscillating roof, and, thanks to having the Phoenix Zoo and Papago Park beyond the outfield fences, the view of the skyline has changed little in 40-plus years. Do not miss the timeline behind the grandstand — it's full of interesting tidbits you would never know about the stadium. For instance, the original floodlights came from the Polo Grounds in New York.
Option 2: Padres vs. Rangers, 7:05 p.m., Surprise. (Surprise Stadium, 15960 N. Bullard Ave., 1-480-784-4444, www.surprisespringtraining.com).
March 17 — Saturday
Have breakfast at IKEA in Tempe (2110 W. IKEA Way, 1-480-496-5658, www.ikea.com). A furniture store you say. You have probably spent enough by now that you would like a cheap eat. The restaurant opens at 9 a.m., an hour before the store. The "Deluxe Breakfast Plate" is comprised of scrambled eggs, bacon, Swedish pancakes with lingonberries, potatoes and coffee. All this for $1.99. This deal is better than finding a good closer for less than a million a year. If that does not suit you, there is the 10 Swedish meatballs and potatoes deal for $4.29.
Stop by the Rendezvous Park plaque in Mesa (one of the Heritage Wall plaques outside of the Mesa City Plaza building, which is on the northeast corner of Main and Center). There was a time when Mesa was a town with a great team that no one went to watch. Now, they have the Cubs (bahdoomp-TISH). It is the only thing left of a stadium that was home to the greatest Cactus League team of all time. Obviously, it's not the Cubs, nor is it the Yankees, who were in the midst of winning five straight World Series when they trained in Phoenix for one year in 1951. The Bronx Bombers were just interlopers compared to the A's of the early 1970s. Want proof: Only 10 teams that trained in the Cactus League in March won the World Series that October. The Swingin' A's won three times (1972-74).
Relish your last meal of the trip at Sluggo's Sports Grill in Mesa (161 N. Centennial Way, 1-480-844-8448, sluggosgrill.com). This sports memorabilia-crammed restaurant used to be Harry and Steve's Chicago Grill. If I need to tell you who Harry and Steve were in Cubs lore, you probably stopped reading this story in the first inning. There are plenty of tasty morsels from a menu with more plays on baseball terms than you can shake a Louisville Slugger at.
Game 5: Padres vs. Cubs, 1:05 p.m., Mesa. (Hohokam Park, 1235 N. Center St., 1-480-964-4467, www.cubs.mlb.com). Get there early because this place can be as cramped as the batter's box when David Ortiz settles in. If you have to take a standing room only ticket, do it. It's St. Patrick's Day, so expect to see almost as much Irish green as Cubbie blue. Today's trivia: The other name for this Mesa venue is Dwight W. Patterson Field. "Pat" Patterson was a rancher and builder who helped bring spring training baseball to Mesa.
Option 2: Angels vs. White Sox, 1:05 p.m., Tucson. (Tucson Electric Park, 2500 E. Ajo Way, 1-866-672-1343, www.whitesox.mlb.com).
Option 3: Giants vs. Rockies, 1:05 p.m., Tucson. (Hi Corbett Field, 3400 E. Camino Campestre, 1-800-388-7625, colorado.rockies.mlb.com).
On the drive home, play the B.B. Initial Game. Start with initials A.A. and have each person in the car try to name a major-leaguer with those initials. Once you have gone around, either try another round of A.A. until only one person is left or go on to A.B. You pick up a point for every name you can come up with. If you are the only one to get a name for a particular set of initials, take five bonus points. Here's a tip for when you get to the end (if you ever get to the end): Zinedine Zidane did not play major-league baseball.
If you've got time (or the game gets rained out), stop by: Francisco Grande in Casa Grande (26000 W. Gila Bend Highway, 1-800-237-4238, www.franciscogrande.com). This resort, which is about halfway between Tucson and Phoenix, had its heyday during the 1960s when the Giants would work out there and play some games early in their spring training season. Back in the day, actor John Wayne was a regular guest at the resort. So much so that there's even a Duke's Lounge named in his honor, not Duke Snider's. But the real reason to go is a giant swimming pool in the shape of a baseball bat with a nearby baseball-shaped hot tub. There is no truth to the rumor that it is the same size as the bat Babe Ruth used.
