We’ve all heard presidential nominee Donald Trump bragging about sexually assaulting women in the video leaked to the Washington Post. Countless publications have covered his comments, but very few have addressed his actions in the video.
Trump defended his words, saying it was just “locker-room banter.”
Not only does this “boys will be boys” argument perpetuate rape culture, but his comments were undeniably alluding to sexual assault, as defined by the Justice Department. If you kiss a person or touch their genitalia without their consent, that’s sexual assault.
Supporters have defended his words, saying they care more about what Hillary Clinton has done than what Trump has said.
So let’s look at what he has done — or at least what he and Billy Bush do about 30 seconds after they reduce actress Arianne Zucker to a pair of legs and Trump has a couple Tic Tacs just in case he starts kissing her.
Bush and Trump exit the bus, meet Zucker, and Trump indicates that he’s ready to be made a soap star.
Then Bush interjects: “How about a little hug for the Donald? He just got off the bus.”
Zucker complies, and Trump grins, saying, “Melania said this was OK.”
Bush interjects again: “How about a little hug for the Bushy? I just got off the bus.”
Zucker complies again.
This was the most disturbing part of the video for me.
After Trump and Bush giggle over Zucker’s legs and the possibility of kissing her, Bush finds a seemingly innocent way for both of them to physically touch her.
In this instance, Zucker’s job is to be a welcoming hostess. She’s not exactly in a position to deny the two men a hug, especially when Bush propositions it the way he did.
Two grown men discussed a woman in lewd terms, and when they come face-to-face with her, one acts as a sort of “wingman” to get his buddy into the arms of a woman. And then gets himself into her arms, too.
A hug seems innocent. It’s benign contact. Neither Bush nor Trump groped Zucker during their hugs.
But it still sickened me.
A hug is one of the first steps that an unwanted admirer takes when he pursues a woman. A hug is the goldilocks of moves — not as intimate as a kiss, not as formal as a handshake — it’s just right.
Some men expect hugs, feel entitled to them after meeting women and trying to pick them up.
I’ve been offered technical support from a boy who, when I wouldn’t come into his embrace, rescinded the offer.
I’ve been studying with a boy who wouldn’t stop putting his arms around me.
I’ve been walked home from class by boys who expect hugs after they’ve finished their gentlemanly duty.
He opens his arms, waiting for the hug. If you don’t give him one, he’s embarrassed, left hanging.
Besides, it’s just a hug, your friends will say, the cautious part of your brain will say. You know how men react when they’re turned down, when they’re denied what they think they’re owed.
Women have been killed for rejecting men.
But let me tell you how it feels when you hug a man you really don’t want to be touching. His mouth his right next to your ear. Your breasts are pressed up against his chest. He might pull you in closer, arms wrapping around your shoulders and back, bringing your pelvis next to his.
You feel vulnerable. You feel like you need to take a bath.
Society tells us that a hug is no big deal.
And I can guarantee that people who comment on this story will tell me that.
But nobody should feel entitled to any intimate physical contact with another person — hug, kiss, or sex.
Consent is sexy. It’s really not that hard to ask someone if they’re feeling the same connection as you do.
Trump won’t ask though. He said as much in the video. He feels entitled to women’s bodies — to touch them, to degrade them.
University of Arizona apprentice Elizabeth Eaton photographed in the Star studio on Monday, January 25, 2016 in Tucson, AZ. Photo by Ron Medvescek / Arizona Daily Star.
Elizabeth Eaton is a University of Arizona School of Journalism undergraduate NASA Space Grant intern at the Arizona Daily Star.
