Dear Jeanne & Leonard:
My elderly father and I have never gotten along, politics being only one of the problems. Recently Dad wrote to my siblings and me asking any of us who voted for President Obama to “come clean” and acknowledge it, and stating that those who did would not be inheriting any of his money. As an ethical person, I feel obligated to tell him the truth, that I voted for Obama. But as his daughter, I see no virtue in having this confrontation with him at the end of his life. Should I be the honorable person he raised and tell him the truth (which I’m sure he already knows), or let him finish out his life believing we are one big, happy family?
— Lynn, Sacramento, California
Dear Lynn:
It all depends on the size of the inheritance.
Relax, we’re joking. From everything you say, it seems unlikely that your father is under the illusion that you are one big, happy family. On the contrary, it sounds as if he’s testing you to see if you are in fact the ethical person you say you are. Since he knows you voted for Mr. Obama, the real question he’s put on the table is whether you are honest enough to acknowledge it when your inheritance is on the line.
Is this unfair? Absolutely. But the fact that your father has made an unreasonable demand doesn’t mean you should talk yourself into believing that you’d be doing him a favor by lying.
