Shooting survivor Suzi Hileman helps Christopher Molander pick out a piece of chalk so he can draw on the asphalt path during Stroll and Roll, an event along the Christina-Taylor Green Memorial Linear Park. Hileman was Green’s neighbor and drove her to the Safeway where the shooting took place.

 A.E. Araiza / Arizona Daily Star 2014

It’s been 10 years.

Ten years since the perpetrator took a cab to the Safeway at Ina and Oracle and used his firearm to murder six Tucsonans and physically injure 13 people who had gathered on a normal sunny winter morning to meet with their congresswoman, Gabby Giffords.

Anniversary isn’t the right word to designate this day — we celebrate anniversaries. Observance, commemoration, remembrance. None is quite accurate. I’m going with what survivor Patricia Maisch says: We mark the day.

We mark the day these Tucsonans were taken from their friends, families and community: Christina-Taylor Green, 9; Dorothy “Dot” Morris, 76; U.S. District Judge John M. Roll, 63; Phyllis Schneck, 79; Dorwan Stoddard, 76; and Gabriel “Gabe” Zimmerman, 30.

Patricia Maisch raises her arms in hope with others on Jan. 12, 2011, during a memorial event titled “Together We Thrive: Tucson and America” at McKale Center to honor the victims of the mass shooting.

When Maisch tells of that day, how she grabbed ammunition away from the perpetrator before he could reload after Bill Badger and Roger Salzgeber tackled him, how he shouted that she was hurting him as she pinned his ankles to the ground with her knees, her voice quiets to steel.

Maisch has shared her experience in front of Congress, at rallies, in interviews, comforting other survivors and trying to convince lawmakers to do something to stop gun violence, to not make it so damn easy to acquire a firearm in the United States.

Today we’re facing an additional pandemic, which like gun violence spreads through our culture, killing thousands of people even while others refuse to acknowledge the danger is real and lethal.

COVID-19 has changed how we can come together. The vigils and gatherings of years past are gone, and comfort must come through a screen, via the written word or a voice on the line. Tucsonans held the victims’ loved ones and the survivors so close back then, and survivors have said they remember how that love and support helped them.

Changes thread through the stories of Jan. 8 and its aftermath. Personal changes, of course, but also changes that have taken public shape. The drive to protect others from experiencing the suffering we have endured is powerfully human.

Patricia Maisch, Mary Reed, Pam Simon and others have turned the horror they saw, heard and felt as they learned firsthand what bullets do to flesh and bone into becoming powerhouse activists with gun safety reform organizations.

I’ve gotten to know these women. They are undeterred by and unafraid of intransigent politicians, the wealthy NRA gun lobby or anyone with the indecency to try to “there, there — you’re just being emotional” them into submission.

The January 8 Memorial, "The Embrace", will open on the anniversary of the mass shooting in 2011 to commemorate the 19 victims. The memorial is on the west side of the Old Pima County Courthouse in El Presidio Park. Video by Kelly Presnell / Arizona Daily Star 2020

Finding a way through grief is intensely personal. And it’s almost never direct.

Suzi Hileman, who survived being shot, has found a home at Prince Elementary School. She was first invited in early spring 2011 to judge a student photo contest. A kindergarten teacher, whose students had written stories about happiness, asked if they could please read them to her? Of course.

The Prince kids that year, like the rest of Tucson, knew her story. They asked questions — What does getting shot feel like? Could they see the bullet holes? — and she became a regular on campus, the Official Adopted Grandmother of Prince Elementary School.

Grandma Suzi makes sure the kids know about her 9-year-old friend, Christina-Taylor Green, who went with her to meet Gabby Giffords and was killed. “It’s a way of keeping her alive for me,” she said. “It’s my best way to honor her.”

And she makes sure every child knows that when you see a gun, you run.

“I’m a living, breathing example of what happens when someone doesn’t use their words and uses a gun instead,” she tells them. She’s no longer surprised how many kids have friends or family members who have been shot or pulled the trigger at someone else.

Hileman started her nonprofit GRandparentsINresidence (GRIN) to raise money to buy books, kids’ shoelaces and more for Prince Elementary and to encourage others to volunteer. She revived the school garden and spent recess time on Wednesdays supervising Garden Club, advising kids on planting and listening to whatever they want to talk about. Suzi still meets a fifth grade class over Zoom once a week to chat about gardening.

Last Jan. 8 she stood on the playground, threw open her arms and said to the world: “Grandma needs a hug!” Kids flocked from every direction and formed a hug line so they didn’t knock her over.

“The sad is overwhelming. It’s impossible to be sad when little ones are hugging you. I can’t focus on the losses when there’s all this potential in front of me,” she said.

Progress treating gun violence as a public health emergency will be made — in part because so many of those directly affected have turned to elected office to become the people who make decisions.

Dr. Randy Friese treated gunshot trauma victims that day at University Medical Center. Daniel Hernandez Jr. was a brand new Giffords congressional office intern 10 years ago. Both men say their experience prompted them to run for the Arizona Legislature. Both were reelected in November.

Ron Barber, then working for Giffords, survived the bullets and went on to represent Giffords’ district in Congress after she retired. He has been working for Congresswoman Ann Kirkpatrick.

Gabby’s husband, Mark Kelly, now represents Arizona in the U.S. Senate.

The friends and family of Giffords staffer Gabe Zimmerman created Beyond, an organization that promotes health and well-being and sponsors outdoor events to get people involved in our community.

As we mark the 10 years since the mass shooting that changed Tucson, let’s remember our resiliency, kindness and follow the example of survivors who are showing us the way forward in so many good ways.

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Sarah Garrecht Gassen is the opinion editor and an opinion columnist for the Arizona Daily Star. Email her at sgassen@tucson.com and follow her on Facebook. On Twitter: @sarahgassen