When we lived on the Air Force Base mom would send me on my bike to the Base Exchange to pick up this or that. I liked that ride because I could ride by the flight line where I could watch the the A-7s take off and land. I always stopped on my bike to admire the word painted in giant letters on the roof of a huge hangar. The word PRIDE was painted in giant letters that could could be seen from all over the Base.
I saw pride everywhere on that base. Discipline. Order. Neatly manicured homes. Crisp uniforms. Snappy salutes. Shoes that gleamed. I loved it.
I felt the pride as a small boy at the Base movie theater when I stood among a rainbow of Americans for the national anthem and we sang the “Star Spangled Banner” while old glory fluttered up there on the screen.
Our melting pot fills me with a pride in our democracy that gives me goose bumps.
When the Joint Chiefs issued rebukes of Trump’s terrifying position on Charlottesville I felt pride. Army Chief of Staff, General Mark Miley, tweeted,” The Army doesn't tolerate racism, extremism, or hatred in our ranks. It's against our Values and everything we've stood for since 1775.”
And 1944. I have a distant relation, a Captain Fitzsimmons who was gunned downed by Nazis at Normandy as soon as the landing craft door dropped down. At Normandy, Pointe du Hoc cemetery is filled with American who set out to liberate a continent from the master race. We mongrels crushed Nazi pride into rubble.
When I hear some whites throw the word pride around the way they do I feel sorry for the poor stunted creatures. White pride is a false pride borne out of fear, amplified by the changing demographics that fear mongering politicians exploit to bitterly cling to power.
I sprang from a tribe of economically disenfranchised caucasians, or as my father called us, “ White trash.” The Master Sergeant laughed at racists. We were taught to love not to hate. How lucky was I to grow up in that colorblind American stew of democratic values? The Master Sergeant would say, “Some folks when they are that low need someone to look down on.”
My family had no time for self-pity. “Work so you can be proud.”
I thought of this when County Supervisor Ally Miller called on whites to stop apologizing for being white. I marveled at this because I have never been asked to apologize for being white. I’m only sorry to be white when I get sunburned at the beach.
I imagined a consultant talking to Miller about her situation. “You recently posted a statement on Facebook right after the Charlottesville incident that created quite a stir. What exactly did you say?”
“I’m proud to be white and I’m not going to apologize for it. White people are persecuted. And I am not ashamed to be white.”
“Actually, according to Crayola you are ‘Mottled Beige’.”
“I have a dream, Mr.Consultant. That one day women will be judged by their casseroles and not by the color of their clear, beautiful, lotion lathered ivory white skin. Touch it. It’s so smooth. I use Lanolin.”
“You are truly the Martin Luther King of white women. Let me ask you, has anyone ever asked you to apologize for being white?”
“Me, specifically? No. But, I’m tired of being persecuted for my love of Petticoat Junction reruns. And my belief that George Soros and Obama and the Deep State and Planned Parenthood and Sharon Bronson were behind this whole Charlottesville Nazi thing.”
“Mrs. Miller, you live on the tony side of town in the freest and richest nation on earth. Your local grocery store shelves are overstocked with low-fat mayonnaise. You have thirty kinds of olive oil to choose from. If you’re oppressed I’m a Gila Monster. Why did you scrub your statement from Facebook?”
“Scrub what statement from Facebook?”
“Good move. What’s next for you?”
“I’m waiting for liberals to ban tiki torches—just because of a few bad nazis. They’ll get my Tiki torch when they pry it from my dead cold fingers! And I’m no Nazi.”
“Is that your new campaign slogan?”
This fictionalized conversation would never take place because most political consultant don’t waste their time of lost causes.
As for pride, I am proud to be an American who believes our diversity is our strength. And, with the same fervor of the persecuted and oppressed Ally Miller, I will never apologize for that. E Pluribus Unum, baby.
