Stanford running back Christian McCaffrey looked like Mr. Heisman again at Arizona Stadium, rushing for 169 yards and scoring three touchdowns.

A group of friends began a text-message thread early in Arizona’s homecoming game Saturday against Stanford. I monitored it during the first half, as the tone went from hopeful and positive to this:

“Do we ever get a break?”

“Basketball, baby. Do we have Trier?”

“Go Francona. UofA.”

“We are terrible.”

And that was just the first half, after which the thread went silent. By then, everybody had gone home, not just on my phone, but literally.

By the time Stanford took a 27-7 lead in the third quarter, winning 34-10, Arizona Stadium had about as many inhabitants as Machu Picchu.

Fox Sports 1, desperate to keep its late-night audience, cut to a timeout with 10:07 remaining in the third quarter by showing highlights (lowlights?) of UA coach Rich Rodriguez ranting on Arizona’s sideline.

In slow motion, RichRod appeared to bite his tongue.

That could become the working theme of Arizona’s 2016 football season. It Hurts, Baby.

The Wildcats are 0-5 in the Pac-12; the only team in school history worse in conference play was John Mackovic’s mutiny-splintered 2002 club that opened 0-6, finished 1-7 and ultimately got all the coaches fired.

Now, two days before November, you can make a case that Arizona’s “best” victory this season was against Grambling State, which, after all, is 5-1 and has won by scores of 70-0, 72-12 and 59-10.

Given the UA’s run of misfortune, it’s no longer certain the Wildcats could beat the (Grambling) band.

That’s a joke.

Arizona’s losing streak is not a joke. The Stanford team that limited Arizona to 286 yards Saturday night is probably the weakest Cardinal team since 2008, one that arrived in Tucson with the most inept offense (299 yards per game) of all 128 FBS teams. It had been outscored 96-27 in recent losses to Washington, WSU and Colorado.

Stanford had been so ineffective that the Heisman Trophy campaign of halfback Christian McCaffrey was aborted a month ago. On Saturday, he again looked like Mr. Heisman.

With 9:25 remaining in the game, leading 27-10, Stanford quarterback Keller Chryst, in his first career start, danced on the sidelines to Earth, Wind and Fire’s “September” song. Chryst had done little to break into a dance; at the time he was 12 for 27 for a mere 88 yards. But McCaffrey’s excellence and Arizona’s inability to either run or pass productively put a hop in the quarterback’s step.

Now that he seems mostly healthy, McCaffrey did to Arizona what he did to the weakest teams on Stanford’s schedule a year ago. He rushed for 169 yards, caught four passes and scored three touchdowns.

A year ago, McCaffrey preyed on the weakest links, rushing for 206 yards against Oregon State, 192 against Cal and 156 against Arizona. In what looks to be a down year at Stanford, he remains a difference maker, the difference-maker against a struggling team like Arizona.

Fortunately for the Wildcats, they are not scheduled to play Stanford in 2017, McCaffrey’s senior year.

What has to be doubly maddening for RichRod is that his club had its two leading quarterbacks, Brandon Dawkins and Anu Solomon, healthy and prepared for the game for the first time since Sept. 3. But the Wildcats gained what would’ve been a season-low 247 yards when freshman Khalil Tate entered for a garbage-time series in the final three minutes.

Now the story flips from “what’s wrong with Arizona’s defense?” to “what’s wrong with Arizona’s offense?”

I mean, Arizona completed five passes.

F-i-v-e.

What is this, 1962?

Arizona’s total offense of 286 yards is one of just four times RichRod’s teams have been held under 300 yards in his Arizona years, ranking with the Pac-12 Championship game against Oregon of 2014, when the Wildcats were limited to 224 yards and lost, 51-13. The other two were a 66-10 loss at UCLA in 2012 and a 17-7 setback at UCLA in 2014.

Arizona is one of seven Power 5 Conference schools winless in league games. It is a good list if you’re trying to get to the Final Four, but in football it is a stadium-emptier. Is that a word?

Duke 0-5.

Kansas 0-5.

Iowa State 0-5.

Michigan State 0-5.

Missouri 0-4.

Rutgers 0-5.

No one’s saying the future is promising, but Arizona’s November schedule includes Oregon State and Arizona State, two teams traveling south.

Here’s the road Arizona is traveling:

BYU beat Arizona.

Boise State beat BYU.

Wyoming beat Boise State.

Eastern Michigan beat Wyoming.

Missouri beat Eastern Michigan.

Middle Tennessee State beat Missouri.

That’s a highway to nowhere in college football, and right now Arizona’s in the fast lane.


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