Hansen: Is 'Stanford bad' still better than Arizona?

Dear Mr. Football: How bad is Stanford’s offense?

A: The Cardinal averages 299 yards per game, which is last of all FBS teams. Here’s a working list of the Pac-12’s worst offenses of this century:

1. Stanford, 232 yards, 2006 (record 1-11).

2. WSU, 241 yards, 2008 (record 2-11).

3. WSU, 249 yards, 2009 (record 1-11).

4. Arizona, 289 yards, 2004 (record 3-8).

5. Stanford, 299 yards, 2016 (record: unfinished business).

Bonus note: The most inept offensive team in Pac-10/12 history was the 1-10 Oregon State team of 1991 that averaged 216 yards per game.

Dear Mr. Football: Does Stanford have good coaches?

A: Here’s one man’s list of the top four assistant coaches in UA history.

1. Duane Akina, 166 games from 1987-2000. He is the only man to be an offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator in the modern Pac-12 (1978-2016). He is Stanford’s secondary coach, and if there’s a better position coach in the league, let him come forth and be identified.

2. Tom Roggeman, 91 games from 1977-79 and 1982-86. He could’ve sold tickets to his pregame pep talks. He could make you feel like playing if you had a migraine. The beloved “Roggy” coached Ricky Hunley and Byron Evans, the two best linebackers in UA history.

2. Sharkey Price, 137 games, 1964-76. Even though UA head coaches kept coming and going, they new coach kept hiring Price to coach their defense, from Jim LaRue, Darrell Mudra and Bob Weber to Jim Young.

4. Rich Ellerson, 95 games from 1992-95 and 1997-2000. It was Ellerson who put the X’s and O’s together for the Desert Swarm scheme. He was also a superb special teams coach. Now, after being the head coach at Cal Poly and Army, he is the defensive coordinator for the Jacksonville University Dolphins.

Waiting list: Moe Ankney, Johnnie Lynn, Sonny Dykes and Fred Enke.

Dear Mr. Football: Is Stanford’s Christian McCaffrey the best running back ever to play at Arizona Stadium?

A: Once you eliminate Arizona’s Trung Canidate, Art Luppino and Ka’Deem Carey, here’s the Big Four:

1. Ron Dayne, Wisconsin. Gained 246 yards against Utah in the 1996 Copper Bowl at Arizona Stadium, beating Utah 38-10.

2. Marcus Allen, USC. Carried 41 times for 201 yards against Arizona in 1980 for the No. 2 Trojans, who won 27-10.

3. Ray McDonald, Idaho. He was Earl Campbell before Earl Campbell, the 13th overall selection in the 1966 NFL draft. McDonald, at 6 feet 4 inches and 240 pounds, gained 104 yards against Arizona in 1964, all of it between the tackles. Tucson columnist Carl Porter wrote: “His raw power is close to indestructible.” McDonald led the NCAA in rushing in 1966.

4. LaMichael James, Oregon. His NFL career has been a flop, and some now say he was a system back. But in a 2011 game in Tucson, James gained an opponent’s record 288 yards in a 56-31 victory.

Dear Mr. Football: Has a Tucsonan ever been captain of Arizona’s football team?

A: Ironwood Ridge linebacker Jake Matthews is one of three captains for the Stanford game. He becomes the seventh linebacker from Tucson to be a football captain, following Amphi’s Ransom Terrell, Desert View’s Adrian Koch, Tucson’s Sean Harris, Palo Verde’s Jim Arneson, Ironwood Ridge’s Jake Fischer and CDO’s Jared Tevis.

Matthews was drafted by Kansas City in the 38th round of the 2013 baseball draft. Here’s how the two players drafted immediately before and after Matthews have done in baseball:

1. Trever Morrison, shortstop: Hit .265 for the Rookie League Helena Brewers this season.

2. Jon Nunnally Jr., outfielder. Hit .289 for Scottsdale College last year and has signed to play for Arizona Christian.

Matthews, who is due to graduate with a degree in pre-neuroscience and cognitive science, seems to have made the better career choice.

Dear Mr. Football: Has a Pac-12 team ever won a game after scoring five points a week earlier?

A: In 1980, Arizona won at Iowa 5-3. It then lost three straight. Incredibly, Oregon State scored five points in two games, in 1979 and 1982, losing 42-5 to USC and 45-5 to Stanford, respectively. Until Stanford scored five in a 10-5 loss to Colorado last week, no other Pac-12 team had scored five over the last 50 years.

Here’s the fewest points combined by Pac-12 teams dating to 1978, the inception of the Pac-10.

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0: Oregon State and Oregon played to a scoreless tie in 1983.

7: The Ducks beat the Beavers 7-0 in 1992.

9: Oregon beat OSU 6-3 in 1990.

10: Washington beat ASU 10-0 in 1988.

10: USC beat Stanford 10-0 in 1986.

Futility bonus: Defying statistical logic, UCLA beat Illinois 6-3 in 1991 and 6-3 when the teams next met in 2003.

Dear Mr. Football: How organized is Rich Rodriguez?

A: Here’s Arizona’s pre-game script, to the minute:

6:43 p.m.: Kickers and holders stretch

6:48: Quarterbacks stretch

7:03: Running backs stretch

7:08: Receivers, secondary stretch

7:18: Remaining players stretch

7:21: Coaches look across field at Stanford and say, “This could be trouble.”

Dear Mr. Football: How well has Stanford recruited?

A: In the classes of 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015 — those that make up the core of Saturday’s depth charts — Stanford acquired 33 players of four-star and five-star rankings by Rivals.com. Arizona? Nine.

Arizona’s nine “elite” recruits from that period have not met with good fortune. Here’s the list:

1. Zach Hemmila, four-star center, 2012. He died in August.

2. Kyle Kelley, four-star defensive end, 2012. Made two tackles at Arizona, transferred to Saddleback JC. As a San Diego State starter the last two seasons, has made 41 tackles and has 11 quarterback sacks.

3. Anu Solomon, four-star quarterback, 2013. He is 18-9 as Arizona’s quarterback of record.

4. Logan Stott, four-star offensive lineman, 2013. Left school before playing a down and plays for the Zion Lions, a semipro team in St. George, Utah.

5. Jordan Poland, four-star offensive lineman, 2014. Dismissed from school for disciplinary issues.

6. Marquis Ware, four-star linebacker, 2014. Retired from football after making one tackle at Arizona.

7. Jamardre Cobb, four-star linebacker, 2014. Switched to fullback. Two career receptions.

8. Cam Denson, four-star receiver, 2014. No career starts, but made 39 tackles as a backup cornerback and is now a reserve receiver with five catches for 86 yards.

9. Nick Wilson, four-star running back, 2014. After gaining 1,375 yards as a freshman, missed four games with injuries as a sophomore and is likely out for the rest of this season with injuries after gaining 320 yards.

So who wins? Stanford’s 33 elite recruits or the two — Solomon and Denson — who remain active at Arizona?

Is “Stanford bad” still better than “Arizona bad?” Will 13 days without a game make a difference for Arizona? It should be Arizona’s best chance to win the rest of the season, even better than a November game at Oregon State.

Cardinal 31, Wildcats 30