HACKENSACK, N.J. - The way Robert Egan sees it, New Jerseyans and North Koreans have a lot in common. They're family-centered, fiercely loyal and often misunderstood.
It's those similarities that this high school dropout turned barbecue pit-master says allowed him to be a successful liaison between the United States and North Korea for years, a role that has eluded even seasoned diplomats.
Egan formed an unlikely friendship in the early 1990s with the North Koreans who were posted to their country's United Nations mission in New York, following an introduction by Vietnamese officials he'd met through his work searching for missing American soldiers.
"There is a lot of North Jersey in the North Koreans. They're sensitive, they're caring people," Egan said. "But there's another side to them. I don't know if that's bipolar or what, but there's two personalities."
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James Gandolfini was set to portray Egan, 55, in a movie for HBO before the actor's death last month. A spokeswoman for HBO said the project would continue, and the company maintains the option on a book Egan wrote with journalist Kurt Pitzer, called "Eating with the Enemy: How I Waged Peace with North Korea from My BBQ shack in Hackensack."
Egan, known as Bobby, freely admits to a past that included drug use and youthful petty crimes. Egan said he had always been open with both the North Koreans and his own government about his activities.
A 2002 New York Times article about North Korea's newly discovered secret nuclear program said the Times had been contacted by the North Koreans through Egan, because they had wanted to get a message to the U.S. about their willingness to negotiate with the Bush administration over the program.
Egan said his relations with the North Koreans have cooled since the 2010 publication of his book and because he feels North Korea's current leader, Kim Jong Un, is a more volatile, dangerous man than his predecessor.
During his active years with the North Koreans, Egan often fed visiting delegates at Cubby's, his modest barbecue restaurant in Hackensack, about eight miles outside Manhattan. The mileage between Cubby's and the UN was itself a matter of diplomatic importance: The restaurant fell within the 25-mile radius where North Koreans are permitted to travel on their heavily restricted visas. His restaurant walls are full of photos of Egan escorting the North Korean diplomats on fishing and hunting trips, or to Giants games. They also include pictures of his trips to North Korea.