Rain or shine, Tucson is still the place to be this time of year – especially for those of you passing time here until you can once again see your driveway back in Dubuque or Buffalo. In light of that, here’s a little quiz to smooth your transition from snowbird to Tucsonan, if only temporarily:
1) The Gila monster:
A) Inhabits the banks of the Gila River.
B) Is America’s only native poisonous lizard.
C) Is pronounced “Gee-lah monster”
2) Tucsonans’ favorite
pastime is:
A) Golf.
B) Finding an open parking spot at Costco.
C) Griping about potholes.
3) The monsoon:
A) Is a tropical storm in Australia.
B) Is the name of a poisonous snake.
C) Is why we have the “stupid motorist” law.
4) Menudo:
A) Was the name of a boy band during the ’70s.
B) Is a soup made from cow innards.
C) Means “excuse me” in Spanish.
5) When meeting a native Tucsonan, one must:
A) Curtsy.
B) Genuflect.
C) Ask why there are so many potholes all over town.
6) Old Tucson:
A) Was the original movie set for the film “Arizona.”
B) Was a failed housing development in the 1970s.
C) Was where “Revenge of the Nerds” was filmed.
7) Javelina:
A) Is a type of spear thrown in Olympic competition.
B) Is how you order the local beer called “Lina.” As in: “I’ll have a Lina.”
C) Is a wild peccary fond of overturning garbage cans.
8) Tucson was once home to:
A) Linda Ronstadt.
B) John Denver.
C) Rocky Balboa.
9) The “Boneyard” refers to:
A) An ancient Indian graveyard.
B) A storage area for old aircraft.
C) A factory that turns out cow skulls for the tourists.
10) Sean Miller:
A) Is Arizona’s men’s basketball coach.
B) Played Eddie Munster for one season on TV back in the 1960s.
C) Once dribbled a basketball on “The Tonight Show.”
11) Tortolitas:
A) Are a type of flatbread without which there would be no burritos.
B) Would be a great name for a Tucson ice hockey team.
C) Are a mountain range on Tucson’s far northwest side.
Answers: 1: B. 2: C. 3: C. 4: A and B. 5: A or B. 6: A. 7: C. 8: A and B. 9: B. 10: A and C. 11: C.
So how did you do?
Six of more correct: Hey, how about moving here full time? Three to five correct: Better learn the difference between a tortilla and a tortolita. Less than three correct: Say, I think the snow is already melting in Buffalo.
