There are more ways to communicate today than ever before. Good communication skills are important, since poor communication skills are the single biggest factor in failed relationships.
Itโs not just the message, but the method of delivery that is important. In fact, the method may be more important than the message itself.
A good rule of thumb to remember: if you cannot end the communication with a heartfelt โthank you,โ it would be better to deliver this message verbally, and not in writing.
When communicating in person, the listener senses the tone of the conversation through the words you speak, how you speak them and through your body language. With multiple sources of input, the chances of misunderstandings are significantly reduced.
When communication is done in writing, the receiver has nothing to go on but the words themselves. It is up to the receiver to determine the tone of the conversation without any additional input from the sender. When the content of those words could not end with a heartfelt salutation, it is easy for the receiver to jump to the wrong conclusions and become defensive.
When the receiver becomes defensive, they usually react in writing. They send a response that could not end in a heartfelt salutation, and now the original sender gets a message that makes them defensive. Their mind begins to race and they too start jumping to the wrong conclusions. Pretty soon the exchange of communication is fast and furious, and can be far removed from the true intent of the original message.
When you need to communicate anything that could not end with a heartfelt thank you, pick up the phone. When you call, leave them a message or schedule a time to meet in person. Even if you are reacting to a written communication you received from someone else. This may help reduce the chances one of your relationships becomes a casualty of poor communications.
