The other day my friend Sean texted me a link to a bright green website with creepy silver cartoons that looked like props from a haunted house movie. All he said was, "Maybe this interests you ..."
The website didn't have much information, except for this ominous message:
"TASTE is perception, preference and discernment.
TASTE is a social experiment.
TASTE is the 3rd in a series of 5 episodes.
TASTE is 21 mouth amusements.
TASTE is an opportunity for fun."
Of course I immediately signed up. The next evening, myself and my two friends Alexa and Nick were directed to meet on the patio of the historic Dunbar School, 325 W. Second St. The hundred-year-old building was Tucson's segregated school for black students before it closed in 1978.
Before we entered, we were asked to sign a "taste waiver": "I acknowledge that this activity may involve a test of a person's physical and mental limits and carries with it the possibility for death, serious injury, and property loss," it read.
The scene inside was actually rather whimsical. The patio had been decorated with small hanging lamps, illuminating two long tables that were strewn with olive branches and uprooted agave plants that weaved their spines in between the empty wine glasses. We were greeted by a dapper waiter named Cody, who offered us both a white and a red (which you can also get at R Bar, he told us).
People milled in slowly for what seemed like forever, until finally the host, artist Darren Clark, gave his intro. He said the event was part of an ongoing art project called 4 Senses that highlights the connections we have with others who lack a sense. (Apparently, a previous event was a blindfolded cocktail party.)
Then he invited us to take gray bands from our napkins and tie them around our heads. What transpired was, well, interesting ...
First course: ice
I took this photo of myself while I was blindfolded. I'm holding a cone filled with shaved ice.
Suddenly there were servers all around us, asking us to hold out our hands. A woman gave me a snow-cone object that dripped cold liquid all over my hand. I was wearing black, but I was still scared it would stain my dress. I tasted it: shaved ice, no syrup.
Second course: chunky vegetable cube
Also taken with the blindfold: My friend Alexa with her cone of indiscernible vegetable.
A couple minutes later the servers handed us a second cone that contained a small cube of something that felt like a potato. But it was firmer and less gristly, and tasted faintly sweet. Perhaps it was a turnip? A carrot? We couldn't really tell, but we all agreed that the clean taste suggested the object was white.
Third course: wood
The camera captures what the eye can't see: a block of wood in an olive oil dish.
The disembodied voice of Cody informed us that this next course was, "a non-digestible plant-based dish." We picked it up, we held it and put it in our mouths. "It's legit, wood," Alexa remarked. I thought it tasted like an unfinished Jenga piece. It was fresh and kinda wet.
Fourth course: egg
I think I made this at home once ...
Then they gave us a plump little thing that bent and bounced in our fingers. It was half a hard-boiled egg without the yolk. "It needs some salt or pepper, but oh well," Nick said.
Fifth course: boba balls
Please sir, may I have some more?
I was hoping it was caviar. But in my mouth, the orbs tasted sweet like almonds or something. I don't really like boba. I think it tastes weird and artificial, except I do like that straw. I wished there was a straw, and liquid.
Sixth course: cheese
Block of cheese.
I knew this was cheese immediately. From the taste, I surmised it must have been a mild supermarket Cheddar that the prep cook had cubed about three hours ago. It was sweating and the edges were hard and crusty from exposure to the air. Alexa really liked it.
Seventh course: more ice
Imagine eating the crushed ice from the part of the buffet where they put the cold shrimp. It was like that, but better.
At this point, they allowed us to take off our blindfolds and enjoy a few courses normally. As you'll see, the next few dishes were a basic repetition of the original six, but each with something a little extra. In this case, they had taken the shaved ice and added some fresh herbs, probably thyme. It was actually very nice, like a savory snow-cone.
Eighth course: chips
Substantial.
We all liked these thin and salty chips. But we weren't sure they were actually made from potato, because they had a slight but pleasing bitterness. (Alexa thought there might be cinnamon in there too.) Whatever they were, it was probably the same root vegetable that was in the cone for course #2.
Ninth course: wood again
Then they gave us another Jenga-like piece of wood. Except this time, it tasted sweet and boozy like it had been soaked in Baileys Irish Cream liqueur. "It's like drinking Baileys from a shoe," I said in the style of Old Gregg.
10th course: tea egg
Nick and Alexa with their tiny little egg.
It was a little ball that was all smooth and brown on the outside. I thought it was a chocolate almond, but then I felt it ... It was soft and bitter and when I bit into it, it tasted like an egg. Probably a quail egg, one of those Chinese snacks that they soak in the black tea. Definitely an improvement on the yolkless chicken egg of yesteryear.
11th course: spicy chocolate milk
Nick the philosopher poses with his chocolate milk.
At this point, Nick began to ruminate on the thematic implications of the blindfolded dinner. His greatest takeaway so far, was that the void created by our loss of vision had been in fact filled with Cody, our dapper waiter who was "like a beacon of light when we couldn't see." I felt grateful for his friendship, for human kindness. And then we slurped down this vial of spicy chocolate milk with more of those icky boba balls.
12th course: bug cheese wafer
Glad we didn't have the blindfold for this one.
The cube of Cheddar cheese from before had come out of its cocoon and emerged as a salty fried slab of cheese cracker. I liked this manifestation much better, but there were startling elements to it. Like the crispy little bug carcasses on top. And the blades of green stuff that we all agreed, were most likely grass.
13th course: vial of broth
Not much to say about this one. It was broth.
This one smelled like corn and tasted like chicken broth from a bowl of matzah ball soup. It was peppery. Comforting.
14th course: fish on leaf
Alexa posing with her fish leaf, nose plug and blindfold tied around her head.
Around this time, our servers brought us all nose plugs and invited us to begin each course with them on. We could take them off halfway through if we wanted, and compare the difference. Then they gave us what was clearly a leaf that had been foraged from someone's yard, with a soft chunk of white fish and a viscous brown sauce that tasted like molasses. Nick ate the leaf and said, "Damn, that was gnarly."
15th course: Asian mushroom thing
I want this in soup.
This was by far the most pleasing dish to eat, because it was basically sauteed mushrooms and greens. Since we couldn't smell, we all thought that green sauce was wasabi, but it was actually very creamy with no bite. We also thought the white thing might be garlic, but it didn't taste like it. Later Cody told us it was a ginkgo nut.
16th course: Cheesy bug cracker
The red micro greens were a nice touch.
Alexa got into this one immediately. "I like this chip. It looks like something I'd buy at Trader Joe's," she said. I was hoping the chunky white stuff was blue cheese, but it wasn't sharp and savory, just mushy. Later Darren told me it was actually beetle larvae. (!!!)
17th course: gyro meat?
Let's play the game: mushroom or meat?
Looked like a slab of lamb with some yogurt sauce and bitter greens on top. I don't think it was actually lamb though. Tasted plantlike and spongy.
18th course: cucumber on leaf
This may be a leaf from an orange tree.
Around this time things started to unravel for me. One of the servers was carrying around a bunch of those alcohol soaked Jenga pieces stacked on top of a random cell phone. I'm quite not sure how it happened, but the waitress gave Alexa and I each a piece of wood, and then I put mine in my mouth. The waitress started to freak, and yelled that it was someone else's leftover wood from course #9. (Oops!) Then we ate this cucumber on a leaf and we ate the lemon too, rind and all.
19th course: brownie
Chocolate brownie bomb.
I think this was just a warm chocolate brownie with some chocolate sauce on top. Hopefully there weren't any bugs hidden in there. Alexa remarked that it tasted "more intense" without the nose plugs.
20th course: vial of fruity juice
If demonic raver clowns from the '90s held a torture party, this is what they'd do.
I've never seen one of these in a classy setting, just in trashy nightclubs sold by people wearing sexy nurse costumes. It tasted like watermelon. What was it???
21st course: flavor tripping
For the finale, they gave us a huge platter of sour fruits and pickled vegetables to share.
Then they broke the news: We'd just consumed flavor tripping berries. (If you don't know, they're a trendy plant product from West Africa that temporarily changes your palate so that bitter and sour flavors taste sweet.) I'd had the berries at a food show in San Francisco once, but this was the first time I'd done them at a party. Woohoo, how fun! I could eat lemons without wincing. I'm not sure I noticed a difference with the papaya and pickled radishes, but they were delicious anyhow. After a long evening of "mouth amusements," it felt real good to eat some food!
