This is what Cobra Arcade looks like around 5:30 p.m. on a Tuesday ... 

Were your newsfeeds flooded with giant crowds and flashing arcade games this weekend? Cobra Arcade opened downtown on Friday and it's been a lightning round of social media posts ever since. 

We were smart/lazy and skipped that insane line running around the building. Instead of going to opening weekend, we waited until the joint opened its doors Tuesday at 4 p.m. to bring you this walkthrough. There was no line and actually a couple spots at the bar when we walked in, but by the time we left around 5:30 it was already beginning to be crazy town. 

We can see why of course. Cobra Arcade has more than 50 classic arcade games and pinball machines for dirt cheap prices. My coworker Samantha and I put a fiver in the token machine and were able to play for about half an hour, and we're really bad. (Or at least I am.) Most of the games I saw were either 25 or 50 cents apiece. 

Everyone has their special arcade game, but I was excited by all the obscure ones I hadn't seen before. Like Cuphead, who looks like Mickey Mouse but his head is a cup? Or the '80s game Paperboy, where your cartoon avatar delivers newspapers? I'm sure it's more fun than it sounds ... 🤣

Everyone's probably gonna have this Cobra Arcade moment, but I flipped my %#$& when I saw an original Q*Bert game, which I used to play at my Uncle Perry's house in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania when I was like 10 years old. I could have spent the entire hour bopping around the pyramidal grid and trying to avoid those pesky snakes, but I wouldn't have had a chance to drink these kitschy mixed drinks ...

The Garbage Pail kid sounds like something from a Harmony Korine movie. Can I drink it in the bathtub? 

Cobra Arcade has eight "cocktails" on its menu, but I would hesitate to put them in the same realm as anything you can get at Agustin Kitchen. Trashy/fun are the words I'd use to describe them, with cutesy nostalgic names like the Crazy Kong and Whiskey Business.

The Garbage Pail Kid, $9, which you see above, actually has Mad Dog 20/20 in it. Yeah, they went there. And if that weren't enough, it also contains green apple vodka, Blue Curacao for that electric glow, and Dos Equis beer?! It's a little fizzy, but it tastes like boozy liquid Fun Dip. It's also topped with some Sour Patch kids, which take on a similar metamorphosis as the gummy bears you mistakenly get on your ice cream: They lose their sugary sour coating and harden into craggy versions of their original selves.

Samantha got a Kirby, $10, which was a little more drinkable in my opinion and tasted like Tang with a sugary hibiscus syrup on the bottom. (Made in house!) I give these drinks a B+ for the fun factor, but they're a little pricey, so if you're on a budget you might wanna order the $3.50 can of Tecate. If you ask nicely though they may give you your drink in a cute little plastic souvenir cup, so you can walk around with it.    

Also, Tuesdays are apparently token nights where you get free tokens when you buy a drink. But we went on a Tuesday and nobody offered us anything. So I say, ask and you may receive. (Wednesdays are ladies nights with free tokens for da girlz.) And another reason to go early: Happy hour runs 4-7 p.m. Tuesdays through Fridays, with $1 off select cans and $2 off all other drinks. We still have a few tokens left, so maybe we'll see you there! 

Cobra Arcade is at 63 E. Congress. Phone: 520-499-3999. Hours: Tuesday-through Sunday, 4 p.m. to 2 a.m.


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