No one watched when Alonzo Bodden captured the crown on Season 3 of "Last Comic Standing."
NBC axed the show at the final episode, and Bodden lost out on invaluable exposure.
But he's not bitter. How can he be when the network tossed him a check for $250,000 and Jay Leno invited him to be on "The Tonight Show" five times?
"When they give you a quarter-million dollars, how mad can you be?" the 45-year-old questioned during a phone interview last month. "And who do you complain to? 'NBC sucks. They only gave me a quarter-million dollars.' It's like watching Roseanne (Barr) be bitter. You're like, 'Tell us again why you're mad. You got $300 million.' "
NBC heard it from the fans and last year resurrected the popular audience-judged reality show, which seeks the world's best stand-up.
The show is different this season. Contestants no longer live in the castle, and the judges — now called talent scouts and including Bodden — will be a part of the comedy recruitment and the finals.
Do you like the changes on the show?
"I don't know that I have a preference one way or the other. You know what my big concern is? Will they bring back the same scouts next season? I'm in this for me. I'm not worried about someone taking my title. Does Alonzo have a job next year?"
Do the scouts get paid pretty well?
"Yeah. I didn't make $300 million, but I'm not angry. After I make my first $100 million, I'm just going to be pissed. I'm just going to say, 'You know something, they screwed me, they ripped me off, they have completely taken advantage of me, and will you please park my jet.' "
This show is like the "American Idol" for comedians.
"I think this show is so much better than 'American Idol' for the simple reason that comics have to be original. 'American Idol' is karaoke. If a comic does a joke and we recognize it as somebody else's joke, he or she is eliminated."
You guys held tryouts in Canada, London, Sydney and throughout the United States. Were the comics funny?
"I will tell you the comics this season are really good. It's going to be really funny. But we're seeing hundreds of comics. When you see 75 people in a row do bad comedy, actually it sucks the funny out of you. We look at each other like, 'I was funny, but I'm not sure anymore. That last one cost me eight minutes of my own funny.'"
What did you do before comedy?
"I used to fix airplanes. Then they started drug-testing me."
Were you doing drugs?
"Yeah, actually, I was. I've been sober for 18 years. But we don't want to talk about me doing drugs and fixing airplanes in the same sentence. I don't have lawsuit money."
What do you want to do with this career?
"I want Lewis Black's job, and I want to retire as George Carlin. . . . I want to be a great comic. I want to be one of the great ones."
• When: 8 p.m. Friday.
• Where: Rialto Theatre, 318 E. Congress St.
• Tickets: $21, through the Rialto, 740-1000.
• Et cetera: All-ages show.
