Art. It’s a passion for many. But, if you’re a parent, it’s often the first thing to go by the wayside when life happens.
Because, well, it’s art. And, as Lauri Kaye, artist and mother says, nobody is gonna die if it gets put off to take care of sick kids or make dinner.
That being said, it’s important — for soul and sanity — to make your passions a priority.
From what the artists we spoke to said, that means making art an integral part of family life, involving the kids and carving out alone time to focus on your creativity.
Lauri Kaye, stepmom and mom to three
Kaye creates what she calls “portrait stories,” which are portraits of people, places or things that incorporate pictures and words to tell a story. Her medium is pen and ink drawings colorized in Photoshop.
She says art is often the first thing to go when family stuff comes up. But, working in a medium that is portable has made it easier for her to keep it a priority.
“I purposely wanted to do something that is super-easy and mobile, so I can do it when I’m with my family or getting coffee or on a plane or waiting in a hospital,” Kay said. “So, no matter what the circumstances are, I can bring my artwork with me.”
Until recently, Kaye created her artwork at home.
“We have this huge kitchen table. Our family comes over often and it’s filled, so a couple times a week I’d be taking off these huge 30-by-30 drawings and putting them under the bed, under the floor behind the couch,” she said. “Then when everybody would leave, all the pens, markers and paper came out to cover the table.”
When it became difficult for Kaye to prioritize her art at home, she decided it was time to rent studio space and make a business of it. It was just the incentive she needed.
Involving her son and having a supportive family are also helpful to Kaye’s artistic goals.
“My 9-year-old son loves to give me his constructive criticism and he’s usually right,” Kaye said. “I love it. I think he’s honest...And I talk to him about my business plans and he always has great ideas.”
All profits from Kaye’s art business go to help those in need in Tucson, Kaye said. That idea? Her son’s.
“Initially, it was going to be 10 percent, then 50 percent and then my son was like ‘We have enough; why don’t you make it a 100 percent?”
That’s exactly what she did.
“I love to have my son be a part of that so he can see I’m doing what I love to do, what I’m passionate about,” Kaye said. “And it’s not just about making money, but helping others.”
Kaye and her son draw together. He’s not into drawing by himself but enjoys the time with his mom.
For parents trying to figure out how to fit it all in, Kaye offers the following advice: It’s easy to make everything else a priority, so set aside time that’s devoted when you can turn the phone off and don’t have to be responsible for other things.
Kids interrupting?
“I never want to be discouraging, but it’s also important to let him know this is my time and it’s important to me, so I let him know I’d love to take time to draw with him, but right now when I’m working on a piece is not the time. But, in 30 minutes, when I’m finished, we’ll do something ... to make a specific time when that will happen.”
Find Kaye’s work online at createforthepeople.com
Skye Lin, mother of two
Art is ingrained into every aspect of the Lin family’s lives, from the food they make, to home-school, to creating for fun.
Lin is a single mother to two autistic children. She works out of her home as a licensed massage therapist and spends the rest of her days working with her children. She is also a painter, jewelry maker and seamstress.
“Everything is artistic, from our food to the way we learn things in life,” Lin said. “I don’t teach them through books too much. It’s all hands-on — building with clay, making things, going out in the community.”
Recently, the family did a semester studying Asia. She needed to find an inexpensive craft project since she had to get her car fixed and couldn’t afford much more. And, she wanted to do a recycle project.
So she decided they would make a Chinese dragon out of paper bags from Trader Joe’s. When all was said and done, the 18-foot dragon was made out of 465 bags and staples. It is now suspended from Lin’s ceiling. However, it will be on display at Trader Joe’s on Campbell Avenue and River Road the first two weeks of January.
“I don’t know...for us it’s not ever that art is second,” Lin said. “It’s in everything we cook and everything we do. Even math. We do a lot of sewing. I make crazy hats and aprons for the kids, so we work on costuming as well.”
While creating art with the kids is important, it’s just as essential to Lin to get her own creative time in.
“I never sleep,” Lin said. “I sleep about three to five hours a night at the most. When they go to bed, it’s my time. I do my African beading or whatever I’m working on.”
Lin’s current projects include reversible princess aprons, bags and baby sets that she creates without a pattern.
“I can’t imagine not doing art,” she said. “Even if someone chopped my hands off, I’d paint with my feet. Just do it. Isn’t it Nike that says that? I think you just have to because of the rewards from it creatively and what it does for your soul and spirit.”
Lin’s words of wisdom to parents trying to juggle it all: Choose art over everything, even exercise.
“We put so much emphasis on the way we look and creating buff bodies, but why not draw for an hour and see how it calms you and what comes to you intuitively.”
Melissa Callahan and Jeremy Thompson, parents and step-parents to five
With three children — ages 8, 6 and 8 weeks — in the house, this couple’s support for each other’s art and making it a central focus in their family life enables them to nourish their creative selves.
They use art as their lens and framing device when it comes to making life decisions. For example, when they were looking at houses, they found one that had space for an art room and a place for Thompson to practice his music.
“We were just talking about how important it is for us to have art be central in our lives,” Thompson said. “So we have a craft room...Everything is at their (the kids) level and we share art supplies. Instead of coming home and turning on the TV, they make art. Our schedule often revolves around art. Whether it’s Jill doing Irish dance, my doing rehearsal or Melissa working on her art, if we have something social going on, it’s related to our artistic practice.”
Growing up and going to college, both Callahan and Thompson thought they’d be artists by profession. As time went by, both decided that it would not be their central careers.
Callahan is an arts integration teacher at Kellond Elementary School and Thompson is a second-grade GATE teacher there.
As artists, Callahan is a hula-hoop performer, fire spinner, singer and music teacher. Thompson is a painter and performs in a band called Arthur Greenland.
“It means art can’t be that big capital “A” thing any more,” Thompson said. “It has to be transformed and I think we both feel more fortunate that we have the arts in our lives than if we had just pursued it as a professional career.”
“A lot of my circus friends and other artist friends that are around my age are deciding not to have kids because they want that to be the central piece to their lives,” Callahan said. “I just feel like you can do both. I’m not gonna go out and be a professional opera singer, but I can still enjoy music and making music and fire dancing and things like that and still have the family time. It’s such a good balance, I think.”
From seeing their parents involved in the arts and going to events as a family, the children live creative lives.
Jillian, 8, is an Irish dancer. She and her mother both perform at the Celtic Festival. So, the family is able to make a day of it.
“It is nice to share that with her,” Callahan said.
Having the time and space to pursue their own things separately is equally important to Callahan and Thompson, which the couple pride themselves on doing for one another.
“You have to have a supportive partner or I don’t think it would be very doable,” Callahan said. “We definitely give each other time and space to pursue our own art form. And we never guilt or shame each other or track minutes, like ‘You were out three nights doing music this week.’ Never ever.”
For parents struggling with making time for their art, Thompson says to “shift your focus from that kind of captial “A” to a small “a” and be creative about what that can look like.”
“If you’re an artist and you want to make pictures and can’t spend hours doing it in the studio, think about maybe how to scale that down. Change mediums to small pen and ink drawings, make a tiny self-published book rather than having a show with 20 oil paintings. You just have to be realistic, but that doesn’t mean you have diminished yourself,” he added.
Callahan suggests carving out time for yourself, such as an hour here and there, when the kids are in bed.
Prioritizing art in family lives is worth the effort for Callahan and Thompson and both feel it would benefit everybody to do so on a large scale.
“What a different world it would be if everybody made sure they had some kind of art going on in their family lives,” Thompson said. “It would be transformative. It would be a little less crazy. A little more gentle. A little more reflective.”
