Before the Five Man Electrical Band released their song "Signs" in 1970, The Arizona Daily Star had a little fun with some of the amusing signs around the state.
From the Arizona Daily Star, Sunday, Oct. 6, 1968:
Read Them And Reap Laughs Plus Information
By M. W. MARTIN
Sometimes, the signs tell you more than they say . . . so to speak.
And if you keep your eyes open throughout Arizona, you'll discover some signs that are worth committing to memory. A few examples:
In a Chinese restaurant in Phoenix: "We chop out own suey."
Note on a windshield on Drexel Rd., in Tucson: "I have just run into your car. People have seen me and are watching me write this. They think I am giving you my name and address. They are wrong."
In a Flagstaff maternity shop: "We Provide the Accessories After the Fact."
In the window of a Tempe loan company: "We serve the man who has everything . . . but hasn't paid for it."
In a pet shop in Glendale: "For sale ─ St. Bernard puppies. Guaranteed double your dog in a month, or your money back."
On the back of a large truck motoring through Crozier: "Avoid Probate: Don't Pass on My Right Side!"
On a meat market in Kingsman: "Your friendly used-cow dealer."
Posted on a lawn in Winslow: "Sick lawn: Absolutely No Visitors."
Over the bar in a Yuma tavern: "We have a pay-as-you-glow plan."
A gas station near a ramp entrance to Interstate 40 advises: "Buy here ─ no price war on I-40."
In a Page bake shop window: "Apple Turnovers!" (the word "Turnovers" is upside down)
Near a fire hydrant at the entrance to the U.S. Indian School, in Phoenix: "Park now, pay later."
In the window of a Prescott reducing salon: "Come in and Shoo the Fat."
At an Indian village along Rt. 264: "Genuine hand-woven Indian blankets. AC or DC."
Near a boatyard outside Peridot, on San Carlos Lake: "Trespassers will be drowned."
In a Miami garage: "We stand in front of our brake jobs."
Posted in a cemetery in suburban Tucson: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
Over a display of pamphlets on diets, exercise, and figure control in a Tucson dime store: "Please pay at the candy counter."
Over the box office of a small movie theater in Casa Grande: "First run, if you haven't seen it."
Over the bar in a downtown Phoenix hotel: Scotch and soda $1. With consultation $2."
At a narrow pass on a tortuous Hurricane Cliffs Rd.: "Oh, yes, you can. Millions have!"
On the outskirts of a small town in Yuma County: "Slow. No hospital."
The Morgue Lady has always been fond of the sign at a church that says "Trespassers will be baptized."
