NEWTOWN, Conn. — They would have been 16 or 17 this year. High school juniors.
The children killed at the Sandy Hook Elementary School on Dec. 14, 2012, should have spent this year thinking about college, taking their SATs and getting their driver's licenses. Maybe attending their first prom.
Instead, the families of the 20 students and six educators slain in the mass shooting will mark a decade without them Wednesday.
Co-founder and CEO of Sandy Hook Promise Foundation Mark Barden wears a "Be Kind" necklace during an interview Dec. 5 in Newtown, Conn. Barden's son, Daniel, was among the 20 first-graders and six educators killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School 10 years ago.
December is a difficult month for many in Newtown, the Connecticut suburb where holiday season joy is tempered by heartbreak around the anniversary of the nation's worst grade school shooting.
For former Sandy Hook students who survived the massacre, guilt and anxiety can intensify. For the parents, it can mean renewed grief, even as they continue to fight on their lost children's behalf.
In February, Sandy Hook families reached a $73 million settlement with the gunmaker Remington, which made the shooter's rifle. Juries in Connecticut and Texas ordered the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones to pay $1.4 billion for promoting lies that the massacre was a hoax.
CNN reports that Alex Jones filed for personal bankruptcy protection on Dec. 2 in Texas. Jones says his assets are worth up to $10 million, and his liabilities amount to up to $10 billion.
In mid-November, a memorial to the 26 victims opened near the new elementary school built to replace the one torn down after the shooting.
Ten years on, some victims' relatives and survivors aren't without hope for a brighter future.
Activism in tragedy's aftermath
After the massacre, Nicole Hockley and Mark Barden were among many victims' relatives who turned to activism. They helped form Sandy Hook Promise, a nonprofit group that works to prevent suicides and mass shootings.
Mark Barden, left, and Nicole Hockley, are co-founders and CEOs of Sandy Hook Promise Foundation in Newtown, Conn. Hockley's son, Dylan, and Barden's son, Daniel, were among the 20 first-graders and six educators killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School 10 years ago.
Hockley, who lost her 6-year-old son, Dylan, and Barden, who lost his 7-year-old son, Daniel, both find it difficult to believe their children have been gone for a decade.
"For me, Dylan is still this 6-year-old boy, forever frozen in time," Hockley said. "This journey that we've been on the last 10 years, it doesn't feel like a decade and it doesn't feel like 10 years since I last held my son, either."
A decade hasn't diminished the disbelief Barden and his wife feel over Daniel's death.
Co-founder and CEO of Sandy Hook Promise Foundation Nicole Hockley shows photos of her son, Dylan, in her office Dec. 5 in Newtown, Conn. Dylan was among the 20 children killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School a decade ago.
"Jackie and I still have moments where we just kind of look at each other, still wrapping our heads around the fact that our little 7-year-old boy was shot to death in his first grade classroom," he said.
"I can't help but wonder what he'd be like now at 17," he said, repeating the number 17. "I just think he would be still a more mature version of the beautiful, sweet, compassionate, thoughtful, intelligent little boy that he was at 7. And it breaks my heart to think of the wonderful impact he would have had in these last 10 years and what he would have still yet to come, and it's all been taken away from him."
Nicole Hockley, co-founder and CEO of Sandy Hook Promise Foundation, speaks in Newtown, Conn. Hockley's son, Dylan, was killed 10 years ago during a Connecticut school shooting.
Sandy Hook Promise's programs have been taught in more than 23,000 schools to over 18 million children and adults. Key components include education about the warning signs of potential school violence or self-harm and an anonymous tip system to report a classmate at risk for hurting others or themselves.
Hockley and Barden say they believe the educational programs and reporting system have prevented many suicides and stopped some school shootings.
"It's a tremendous satisfaction, and it's a serious responsibility," Barden said of the group's work. "And it's a gift in a way that we have built something that allows us this mechanism with which to honor our children by saving other children and by protecting other families from having to endure this pain."
Growing up a survivor
Ashley Hubner was in her second grade classroom at Sandy Hook Elementary when the shooting happened. She and her classmates ran to the cubby area to hide. The school intercom system clicked on. Everyone could hear gunshots, screaming and crying.
A visitor to the Sandy Hook Permanent Memorial sits on one of the benches during twilight Dec. 5 in Newtown, Conn. The names of the 20 children and six educators killed a short distance away at Sandy Hook Elementary School 10 years ago are engraved in concrete around a memorial pool with a sycamore tree in the middle.
When police arrived, she and her classmates didn't want to open the door. They thought bad guys could be impersonating officers. They screamed "No!" The officers had to convince them they were actually police.
Ashley, now a 17-year-old senior at Newtown High School, developed post-traumatic stress disorder and has struggled with anxiety and depression, like other students who were there that day. Ashley said she always gets more emotional and irritable around the shooting anniversary.
"Even though it's been 10 years, like this is still a problem that a lot of us still have to handle in our everyday lives and it still affects us greatly," she said.
Adding to the grief is the fact that mass shootings keep happening, she said.
Ashley Hubner speaks during an interview June 16 in Newtown, Conn.
"We've had 10 years to change things and we've changed so little, and that's just disgusting to me," she said.
Ashley said there wasn't much talk among her classmates yet about the anniversary.
"I feel like everyone just tries to pretend like everything is normal and then when it gets to that day, I'm sure people will reach out and I'll reach out to people."
Ashley wasn't sure how she might mark the day. All town schools will be closed for staff development. She said she may make her first trip to the new memorial.
She said she has been happy with her senior year at Newtown High, calling it one of the best school years she's had. She is looking forward to going to college.
"I'm really, really excited to leave," she said. "Just like to get new experiences, grow up and move on with this chapter of my life, you know?"
Light conquering darkness
St. Rose of Lima Church has been a gathering point for the Newtown community since the day of the shooting, when hundreds of people packed the Roman Catholic church and stood outside for a vigil. It has held a special Mass every Dec. 14 since.
Monsignor Robert Weiss still struggles with his own trauma. The church led the funerals for eight slain children. He hasn't slept well ever since and becomes emotional easily. During Mass, he always keeps watch on the entrances, worried about a violent intruder.
Photos, from top to bottom, of Dylan Hockley, Mary Sherlach and Daniel Barden hang in the Sandy Hook Promise Foundation offices in Newtown, Conn. Hockley, Sherlach and Barden were among the 20 first-graders and six educators killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School.
"It's a very difficult time for me having buried eight of those children," he said of the anniversary. "It just brings back so many memories of true sadness."
The anniversary Masses are hopeful, Weiss said, with a theme that light conquers darkness.
"The darkness of evil is not going to conquer good and we as a community have to work together to be sure that happens," Weiss said. "We want to celebrate and remember the children and the families, and how it's turned this tragedy into so many positive things to assist other people."
2022 'tipping point' in gun safety
After Sandy Hook, there was frustration among many gun violence prevention advocates that nothing was being done to stop such massacres. The failure of a gun control bill in the months after Sandy Hook was another hard loss.
But U.S. Sen. Chris Murphy, a Connecticut Democrat, said the shooting gave new energy to the movement, with numerous groups forming to demand action.
"In the 10 years leading up to Sandy Hook, the gun lobby controlled Washington. Anything they wanted they got," said Murphy.
The House sent President Joe Biden the most wide-ranging gun violence bill Congress has passed in decades, a measured compromise that at once illustrates progress on the long-intractable issue and the deep-seated partisan divide that persists.
"After Sandy Hook happened, we started building what I would describe as the modern anti-gun violence movement," he said. "During the next 10 years, there was essentially gridlock. The gun lobby no longer got what they wanted, but unfortunately in Washington we weren't getting what we wanted either."
After mass shootings last spring killed 21 people at an elementary school in Uvalde, Texas, and 10 people at a supermarket in Buffalo, New York, Congress passed the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act, the first major federal gun control law in decades. The law expands background checks for younger gun buyers, boosts school mental health programs and promotes "red flag" laws to temporarily confiscate guns from people deemed dangerous.
"I think this summer marked the tipping point, where finally the gun safety movement has more power than the gun lobby," Murphy said.
"It's going to be a hard December for those families, but I hope they know what a difference that they have made in the memory of their children in these 10 years."
22 of America's deadliest mass shootings in the past 10 years
July 20, 2012: Aurora, Colorado
Updated
Incident date: July 20, 2012
City/county: Aurora, Colorado
Killed: 12
Family members stand outside Gateway High School where witnesses were brought for questioning after a gunman opened fire at the midnight premiere of The Dark Knight Rises Batman movie Friday, July 20, 2012 in Aurora, Colo.
Dec. 14, 2012: Newtown, Connecticut
Updated
Incident date: Dec. 14, 2012
City/county: Newtown, Connecticut
Killed: 26
Parents leave a staging area after being reunited with their children following a shooting at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., where a gunman opened fire, leaving 26 people dead, including 20 children on Dec. 14, 2012.
Sept. 16, 2013: Washington, D.C.
Updated
Incident date: Sept. 16, 2013
City/county: Washington, D.C.
Killed: 12
A police boat patrols near the scene of a shooting at the Washington Navy Yard on Monday, Sept. 16, 2013, in Washington. At least one gunman opened fire inside a building at the Washington Navy Yard.
June 17, 2015: Charleston, South Carolina
Updated
Incident date: June 17, 2015
City/county: Charleston, South Carolina
Killed: 9
Worshippers embrace following a group prayer across the street from the scene of a shooting at Emanuel AME Church, Wednesday, June 17, 2015, in Charleston, S.C. A white man opened fire during a prayer meeting inside the historic black church, killing multiple people, including the pastor, in an assault that authorities described as a hate crime.
Oct. 1, 2015: Roseburg, Oregon
Updated
Incident date: Oct. 1, 2015
City/county: Roseburg, Oregon
Killed: 10
A woman is comforted as friends and family wait for students at the local fairgrounds after a shooting at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Ore., on Thursday, Oct. 1, 2015.
Dec. 2, 2015: San Bernardino, California
Updated
Incident date: Dec. 2, 2015
City/county: San Bernardino, California
Killed: 14
Authorities search for a suspect following a shooting that killed multiple people at a social services facility Wednesday, Dec. 2, 2015, in San Bernardino, Calif.
June 12, 2016: Orlando, Florida
Updated
Incident date: June 12, 2016
City/county: Orlando, Florida
Killed: 49
Police officers direct family members away from a fatal shooting at Pulse Orlando nightclub in Orlando, Fla. A gunman massacred 49 people and wounded many others at the gay nightclub.
Oct. 1, 2017: Las Vegas, Nevada
Updated
Incident date: Oct. 1, 2017
City/county: Las Vegas, Nevada
Killed: 58
In this Oct. 3, 2017, file photo, windows are broken at the Mandalay Bay resort and casino in Las Vegas, the room from where Stephen Craig Paddock fired on a nearby music festival, killed 58 and injuring hundreds on Oct. 1, 2017.
Nov. 5, 2017: Sutherland Springs, Texas
Updated
Incident date: Nov. 5, 2017
City/county: Sutherland Springs, Texas
Killed: 25
A law enforcement official walks past the First Baptist Church of Sutherland Springs, the scene of a mass shooting, Sunday, Nov. 5, 2017, in Sutherland Springs, Texas.
Feb. 14, 2018: Parkland, Florida
Updated
Incident date: Feb. 14, 2018
City/county: Parkland, Florida
Killed: 17
Parents wait for news after a reports of a shooting that killed 17 at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., on Wednesday, Feb. 14, 2018.
May 18, 2018: Santa Fe, Texas
Updated
Incident date: May 18, 2018
City/county: Santa Fe, Texas
Killed: 10
People react outside the unification center at the Alamo Gym, following a shooting at Santa Fe High School Friday, May 18, 2018, in Santa Fe, Texas.
Oct. 27, 2018: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Updated
Incident date: Oct. 27, 2018
City/county: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Killed: 11
Students from the Yeshiva School in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood of Pittsburgh, pay their respects as the funeral procession for Dr. Jerry Rabinowitz passes their school en route to Homewood Cemetery following a funeral service at the Jewish Community Center, Tuesday Oct. 30, 2018.
Nov. 7, 2018: Thousand Oaks, California
Updated
Incident date: Nov. 7, 2018
City/county: Thousand Oaks, California
Killed: 12
In this image taken from video a victim is treated near the scene of a shooting, Wednesday evening, Nov. 7, 2018, in Thousand Oaks, Calif. A hooded gunman dressed entirely in black opened fire on a crowd at a country dance bar holding a weekly "college night" in Southern California, killing multiple people and sending hundreds fleeing including some who used barstools to break windows and escape, authorities said Thursday. The gunman was later found dead at the scene.
May 31, 2019: Virginia Beach, Virginia
Updated
Incident date: May 31, 2019
City/county: Virginia Beach, Virginia
Killed: 12
A police chaplain heads toward Princess Anne Middle School in Virginia Beach, Va, on Friday, May 31, 2019. A longtime city employee opened fire at a municipal building in Virginia Beach, killing 11 people before police shot and killed him, authorities said. Six other people were wounded in the shooting, including a police officer whose bulletproof vest saved his life, said Virginia Beach Police Chief James Cervera.
Aug. 3, 2019: El Paso, Texas
Updated
Incident date: Aug. 3, 2019
City/county: El Paso, Texas
Killed: 23
An El Paso police officer talks to a store employee following a shooting at a shopping mall in El Paso, Texas, on Saturday, Aug. 3, 2019. Multiple people were killed and one person was in custody after a shooter went on a rampage at a shopping mall, police in the Texas border town of El Paso said.
Aug. 4, 2019: Dayton, Ohio
Updated
Incident date: Aug. 4, 2019
City/county: Dayton, Ohio
Killed: 9
Shoes are piled outside the scene of a mass shooting at Ned Peppers bar, Sunday, Aug. 4, 2019, in Dayton, Ohio. Nine people in Ohio were killed in the second mass shooting in the U.S. in less than 24 hours.
Aug. 31, 2019: Midland, Texas
Updated
Incident date: Aug. 31, 2019
City/county: Midland, Texas
Killed: 7
Law enforcement officials process the crime scene from a shooting which ended with the shooter being shot dead by police in a stolen mail van, right, in Odessa, Texas. The mass shooting in West Texas spread terror over more than 10 miles as the gunman fired from behind the wheel of a car.
March 16, 2021: Atlanta
Updated
Incident date: March 16, 2021
City/county: Atlanta, Georgia
Killed: 8
Law enforcement officials confer outside a massage parlor following a shooting on Tuesday, March 16, 2021, in Atlanta. Shootings at two massage parlors in Atlanta and one in the suburbs left eight people dead, several of them women of Asian descent, authorities said Tuesday.
March 22, 2021: Boulder, Colorado
Updated
Incident date: March 22, 2021
City/county: Boulder, Colorado
Killed: 10
Police work on the scene outside a King Soopers grocery store where gunman killed 10 people on Monday, March 22, 2021, in Boulder, Colo.
April 15, 2021: Indianapolis
Updated
Incident date: April 15, 2021
City/county: Indianapolis
Killed: 9
Police stand near the scene where multiple people were shot at the FedEx Ground facility early Friday morning, April 16, 2021, in Indianapolis. A gunman killed eight people and wounded several others before apparently taking his own life in a late-night attack at a FedEx facility near the Indianapolis airport, police said.
May 14, 2022: Buffalo, New York
Updated
Incident date: May 14, 2022
City/county: Buffalo, New York
Killed: 10
People pray outside the scene of a shooting where police are responding at a supermarket, in Buffalo, N.Y., May 15, 2022. When police confronted Payton Gendron, the white man suspected of killing 10 Black people at the supermarket, he had an AR-15-style rifle and was cloaked in body armor. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke, File)
May 24, 2022: Uvalde, Texas
Updated
Incident date: May 24, 2022
City/county: Uvalde, Texas
Killed: 21
A visitor places bracelets on crosses at a memorial as he and others pay their respects to the victims killed in the Robb Elementary School shooting, Tuesday, May 31, 2022, in Uvalde, Texas. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)
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