As the Pac-12 descends upon Las Vegas for the ninth time, some programs are standing tall and some are in need of utter demolition. Some are rebuilt and steadfast, ready to take on the world, much less the wind. Some look like they’re teetering.
These are the Pac-12 teams as Las Vegas hotels. Because … why not?
Arizona is Resorts World Las Vegas
The newest, flashiest, splashiest hotel on the Strip, Resorts World Las Vegas is the first new hotel since the Cosmopolitan opened in 2010. Built on the former site of the Stardust, following up a legend — that sounds a lot like Tommy Lloyd, who has burst onto the college basketball scene in a huge way in his first season in Tucson. Arizona’s regular season will go down as one of its best in history, and heading into the Pac-12 Tournament with a No. 1 NCAA Tournament seed already locked up, the Wildcats arrive in Las Vegas already feeling on top of the world.
Arizona State is the Mirage
And not just because Tempe is in the desert. The Mirage is the next in a long line of Vegas mainstays to be set for demolition, as the property was acquired by Hard Rock International. It will be torn down and rebuilt in the shape of a guitar, which is a little too on the nose for our taste. (That’d be like if the Excalibur was torn down and rebuilt into the body of King Arthur. Actually, count us in on that.)
The Sun Devils have not taken off like expected under Bobby Hurley. He’s plenty combustible, so they might not need much TNT.
Cal is the Flamingo
One time the hippest, swaggiest, most desirable of resorts – the definition of old-school cool — the Flamingo is now just old. The Cal Golden Bears are stuck in the good ol’ days, as well. Cal made just 171 3-pointers during the regular season, averaging a measly 5.6 per game. It’s no surprise, then, that Cal also ranked last in the Pac-12 in scoring.
Colorado is the Golden Nugget
Not too flashy, not too exciting, but an old mainstay. Solid. Consistent. That’s what the Buffaloes have become under Tad Boyle. In his 12th season along with Oregon’s Dana Altman, Boyle has led Colorado to the postseason in 11 of 12 seasons, a level of success before unmatched with the Buffaloes. Sure, he’s only advanced to the Round of 32 twice, but you’re not going to have a bad prime rib with Tad Boyle.
Oregon is Bally’s — soon to be the Horseshoe
Bally’s is in the middle of a rebrand, and so are the Oregon Ducks. After winning the Pac-12 regular season in back-to-back years, the Ducks dropped precipitously this season, and appear headed for their most losses since Altman’s first season in 2010-11. Oregon just lacks the star power that seemed to define it for a half-decade. The Ducks claimed three of the Pac-12’s six Player of the Year winners from 2015-2020 (Joe Young in 2015, Dillon Brooks in 2017, Payton Pritchard in 2020), but have nobody even in the conversation this year.
Oregon State is the OYO Gateway Motel
The worst-rated hotel property in Las Vegas according to Hotels.com, this OYO registers at a 1.5/5 rating over 194 reviews. Yes, 194 reviews are enough to know that a place is a dump. So is 30 games, when the Beavers won just three of them. This was an Elite Eight squad a year ago. And now? Three wins? We like Wayne Tinkle, but this is a bad Beavers team.
Stanford is Circus, Circus
And not just because the Cardinal have the wackiest, most irritating mascot east of the Phillie Phanatic. The Cardinal turned the ball over 457 times, the most in the conference by a wide margin. Stanford only forced 333 gaffes itself, a league-worst turnover margin of negative-4.13 per game. The Cardinal like to play loose and easy, a little like the slots at Circus, Circus. Loosest slots in town, the hotel offers a 97.4% payout — kind of like the easily pick-pocketed Cardinal.
UCLA is the Venetian
Simply a classic, with the best combination of entertainment, food, gambling and shopping on the Strip. The Bruins have perhaps the top mix of offensive and defensive prowess in the league, with the top-rated defense and No. 2 offense in the Pac-12. The Bruins scoring margin trailed Arizona’s but that stellar defense should keep UCLA playing well into March.
USC is the Wynn Las Vegas
The Wynn has consistently ranked at or near the top of the Las Vegas hotel rankings for years. The Trojans have been remarkably consistent this season, as well. USC ranks third in the league in scoring and scoring defense, behind UCLA in both and behind Arizona in scoring and Washington in scoring defense. The Trojans went undefeated in nonconference play, and aside from a pair of losses to Stanford, they largely delivered against teams they had the talent advantage over.
MGM Grand makes great use of its corner lot. So, in a way, do the Utah Utes.
Utah is the MGM Grand
In two ways, really. First of all, efficiency: MGM Grand makes great use of its corner property, and of its set-up, with a great pool and a great arena. Similarly, the Utes made great use of the charity stripe, leading the league in free-throw percentage. They’re also a match in terms of opportunism. The MGM Grand Resorts group was unprofitable in seven of eight years from 2008-15 and lost $1 billion in 2020. Similarly, the Utes were unprofitable when given the opportunity — they had just 4.63 steals per game this year.
Washington is the Luxor
There may not be a team more responsible for his team’s success than Washington’s Terrell Brown Jr. The Huskies one bright shining light not only led the league in scoring at a fantastic 21.7 points per game, he outpaced the team’s No. 2 option, Emmitt Matthews Jr., by 10 points per game. Brown was responsible for more than 30% of Washington’s scoring this season.
Washington State is the El Cortez
One of the few — if not the only — remaining hotels in Las Vegas with a brick façade, the El Cortez is fitting for the Cougars. Let’s just say there is a reason Wazzu leads the league in offensive rebounds per game. The Cougars couldn’t hit a 21 if you spotted them an ace and a friendly dealer. Washington State connected on a paltry 41.1% of its shot attempts. For comparison, Arizona connected on a 49.5% clip. Luckily the Cougars connect from deep, at least in volume, leading the league in 3-pointers made with 9.2 per game.
