College softball is a tight-knight community. When something happens in one program, it hits close to home.
James Madison catcher Lauren Bennett died by suicide this week, causing shockwaves throughout the sport. It hit Arizona slugger Allie Skaggs especially hard.
Both Skaggs and Bennett earned player of the week honors from their respective conferences just a week ago. Skaggs belted five home runs β three coming in one game β while Bennett hit .788 with seven RBIs.
βIt hurt me just because Lauren was a player of the week and then I was, too, and look at how different that experience was like for both of us and so that it breaks my heart just because someone that is on a hot streak like that could be going through something that you canβt see,β Skaggs said.
βIβm thankful to have a team that is willing to check on each other. And the coaching staff, they care. They care so much they want us to get help if we need it.β
As the Wildcats (19-16) prepared for Saturdayβs doubleheader against Fresno State (16-30) at Hillenbrand Stadium, they took a moment Friday afternoon to share about how they feel.
Dr. Mike Clark, the UAβs sports psychologist, talked to the players and coaches.
βHeβs there when things are going great. Heβs also there for if things arenβt going great,β coach Caitlin Lowe said.
βI think thatβs important that it becomes normal. You know, if I have an appointment with Dr. Clark, itβs just something thatβs on my schedule and itβs taking care of myself as a whole and not just as an athlete.
ββ¦I think we always have to look for ways to be better. And thatβs the biggest thing. We canβt just be satisfied with what it is. Obviously, thereβs a problem and we have to address it. I met with Dr. Clark today and we were talking about processing our feelings about it and how we can be better as a staff. I think itβs just weβre lifelong learners in softball, but we have to be lifelong learners. Itβs how these athletes are feeling during these different situations.β
Lowe has an open-door policy with her players. Being a mom has helped Arizona first-year head coach understand more that thereβs always something behind whatβs going on.
βTheyβre not just choosing to show up and have a negative attitude,β she said. ββ¦I think itβs important for our office doors to be open all the time for when they want to walk in. I sat and talked to Izzy Pacho for 30 minutes and it had nothing to do with her swing or her performance. It was just about life and how life was going, and (how) school was going.
βI think those times are important so that when something happens, they can they feel like they can come to you and thatβs something that (former UA) coach (Mike) Candrea was always so good at, as well.β
Bennett is the third Division I female athlete to take her own life in the past few months. Sarah Shulze, a track standout at Wisconsin, died from suicide; so did Stanford soccer goalie Katie Meyer.
βIt breaks my heart,β Skaggs said. βItβs terrible just because I feel like you only ever see the good things. You see the Stanford goalie making that big save in the (2019 NCAA soccer) final and all you can imagine is, βHey, sheβs probably on cloud nine. Sheβs doing great,ββ Skaggs said. βItβs terrible just because I canβt imagine the amount of pressure or the background things going on in their lives that makes it that terrible for them.β
Skaggs knows she is fortunate that she has people she can rely on when things get tough on and off the field. Sheβs especially close with Izzy Pacho and Giulia Koutsoyanopulos. Skaggs also said former teammates have been contacting her and asking how she is doing as a person, and that makes all the difference.
Yet she knows the pressure that softball players face every day, and how that can stick with someone.
βYou can fail 7 out of 10 times and be great,β Skaggs said. βI feel like failure is really hard to deal with sometimes. But I think we put a ton of pressure on ourselves just because while it is a team sport you do have to pull your weight, too. Itβs like when you feel like you arenβt pulling your own. It can be really hard to pull yourself out of a rut.
βBut I think as long as you have people behind you that are saying, βHey, no matter what you do on the field, I love you as a person before I love you as a player.β Thatβs something that people have been reaching out to me for the past few days. Itβs like, βI donβt care you could get you could have zero hits for the rest of your career, and I still love you because you are Allie Skaggs. Youβre not as good as a softball player. Youβre the human.β I think that is something that I will carry with me. As long as we can stick onto that our mental health will be all right.β
There are other things that are affecting this group of student-athletes that many in the past did not have to face, including the isolation of the pandemic. Sophomore pitcher Devyn Netz was excited this year to finally take a class in person.
βI didnβt even think about that, but they didnβt have the normal freshman-year experience,β Lowe said.
There are also the routine things when players get down when they have injuries. Janelle MeoΓ±o knows this feeling all too well. She recently returned from a stress fracture in her foot that kept her sidelined for six weeks.
The Pac-12 Freshman of the Year said she put a lot of pressure on herself before the injury. Talking to Clark helped her see things from a different perspective. She took it upon herself to learn how to be a better teammate from the bench.
MeoΓ±o discovered something else, too.
βThereβs so much more than just softball. There are other things going on and it (softball) can be taken away in a second,β MeoΓ±o said. ββ¦ Weβre more than just our sport.β
