Sean McDermott made it clear right from the very first words of his news conference Thursday: The Buffalo Bills’ head coach was there to talk about one thing and one thing only.
“This press conference is about Damar Hamlin, whom we love,” McDermott said. “It’s about his parents, Mario and Nina, and their extended family. We continue to pray for them during this time, and Damar is and remains our No. 1 concern.”
After waking up, Hamlin wrote a question: Who won the game? One of the doctors responded: "Damar, you won. You've won the game of life."
A standing-room-only crowd of media members – both local and national – packed the interview room inside Highmark Stadium to hear from McDermott and select players three days after Hamlin’s heart stopped on the field Monday against the Cincinnati Bengals at Paycor Stadium.
As the gravity of their teammate’s condition became apparent, anguish and emotion overcame Hamlin’s teammates. In those moments, McDermott was staring at the biggest challenge of his coaching career.
“He was the perfect man in that situation to handle that,” quarterback Josh Allen said. “I can't say enough about what he did, what he said to us in the locker room. Obviously, just a dire circumstance that nobody's expecting, nobody's ready for, there's nothing that you can train about. You can never put yourself in that situation until it happens. … Coach handled it as perfect as anybody could.”
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For the better part of five seasons, McDermott has built a locker room that has shown that catch-all terms such as "culture" and "family" are more than just coaching buzzwords. With a national audience watching one of the most anticipated games of the season, he showed the steady presence he's come to be known for. The Bills, after all, are no strangers to adversity, and that extends beyond just what happened to Hamlin.
In May, the team visited the Tops Markets on Jefferson Avenue after the racist shooting that took 10 lives. Two devastating snowstorms have paralyzed our region this winter season, the last of which caused the deaths of more than 40 people. All that, of course, is so much bigger than the game.
McDermott, though, has come to realize the Bills are an integral part of the fabric of our community.
"How do I know that we'll be able to overcome? We have to," he said. "Just like we've done many times before. This city, and the people of Western New York, have dealt with what they've dealt with. That's what you do. I've never been around a city or region like this that is so in sync, their teams and their fan base, and I mean that."
In a league known for its “next man up” mentality, it was exceptionally rare to see a head coach and star quarterback show the emotion they did Thursday. That reached its peak when they were asked about the millions of dollars that have been raised for Hamlin’s foundation by fans in Buffalo, Cincinnati and around the country. McDermott generally avoids most social media, but Allen was sure to show the head coach the latest tally – which as of Thursday night had crept past $7.5 million.
Fans gathered outside Highmark Stadium to pray for injured Bills player Damar Hamlin on Tuesday, Jan. 3, 2023.
“It’s amazing to me to know the impact that this has had on so many people,” McDermott said as he paused for a good 10 seconds to compose himself. “And for now Darmar to be awake and his mom to be able to share that with him is incredible.”
True to his nature, at every opportunity, McDermott made sure that the focus Thursday was exactly where he wanted it to be. That's what he does in all of his news conferences, especially during the season. Praise goes to the players, blame starts with the head coach.
“This is not about me. This is about Damar and his family,” he said. “I really feel like I did what anybody else would have done. So when you're in those situations, you just react. When you prepare for a game, the game can slow down because you've prepared for the game and you visualized it ahead of time.
"In this case, I can tell you it was moving very slowly at the beginning, just as Damar was on the field. Time was just creeping by as we were trying to get a response to how he was doing. Then, from that point on, it moved very, very quickly in terms of us trying to get to a decision and do the right thing. I think that's what it really comes down to, is just trying to do the right thing for everyone involved.”
In the moment, that meant conferring with Bengals coach Zac Taylor and referee Shawn Smith. Together, along with input from the NFL, the only logical conclusion was reached – the game was suspended with 5:58 remaining in the first quarter.
Make no mistake, that’s no small thing. Even during the past two seasons, when the Covid-19 pandemic impacted every facet of daily life, the NFL got in all their games. Injuries, sometimes very significant ones, happen in every game, every week. It was quickly apparent, however, that what happened to Hamlin was something far different, and McDermott reacted accordingly.
“Mental health is real,” McDermott said. “The job description of a coach is not just coaching Xs and Os. It’s much more than that. So, to me, the health and well-being of your staff and your players is the No. 1 job of a coach in this situation.”
In his first public comments Wednesday, Taylor explained why his respect for McDermott grew from the situation.
“Their support in the moment for Damar, you could just see how that team felt about him and the impact he has on them. Just was class all the way,” Taylor said. “I always knew Sean – we never worked together, never had a meal together or anything – but always had respect for him, just seeing the way that he handled his team just deepened that respect for him and verified everything I always thought he was about as a man.”
Taylor said he wouldn’t disclose the private conversations he had with McDermott in the immediate aftermath of what happened to Hamlin, with one exception.
A number of fans have suggested that rather than announcing the starting lineup before Sunday's game, the Bills should announce the names of the medical staff.
“When I got over there, the first thing he said was, ‘I need to be at the hospital with Damar. I shouldn’t be coaching this game.' So that provides to me all the clarity because there was no – unprecedented is the word that gets thrown around a lot about this situation, because that’s what it is – but in that moment, he really showed who he was, that all his focus was on Damar and being there for him and being there for his family, being at the hospital,” Taylor said. “At that point, I think everything trended in the direction it needed to trend, and the right decisions were made there.”
Just minutes before, the two coaches had been devising ways for their respective teams to come away with an important AFC victory. In an instant, that became an afterthought.
“Zac and I were on the same page so quickly there,” McDermott said. “It was amazing how compassionate Zac was, and his players. Their captains came down to our locker room and met with our team and captains and (it was) just an amazing show of compassion, empathy, love.”
When Hamlin was on the field, having CPR performed on him, McDermott said things were moving so quickly that it was difficult to remember exactly how things transpired. Taylor’s words, however, helped him recall some of it.
“I remember thinking to myself, ‘We're going to need some time,’ ” he said. “We're so conditioned to, a player is taken off the field who is injured to going right back into that mode.
The NFL announced Thursday night the Bills' postponed game against the Cincinnati Bengals has been canceled. The key reasons are the outcome of the game would have no impact on which teams make the playoff field and finishing the game would impact all 14 playoff teams by delaying the start of the playoffs for a week.
“I went back to Shawn (Smith) and said, ‘I don't feel good about this,’ or something to that effect. … Zac comes over and then the league was involved and the league helped in this way, as well, saying, ‘Hey, it's OK to go back in your locker rooms.’ So we headed that direction. … I went in and addressed the team and just felt like overall, it was going to be really hard to put them back out there, but I wanted to give them the option to go back out there if they wanted to. Led by Josh and a couple of the other captains, they decided not to go back out there.”
An NFL sideline is, by nature, a chaotic environment with its free-flowing testosterone. Add in the raw emotion that came with seeing a teammate in such distress, and it’s easy to understand why center Mitch Morse said the team needed to retreat to the locker room to be able to collect itself.
“We had the whole team in a confined space, we could have discussions, conversations not only between ourselves, but then coach putting us in a position to ultimately make a decision,” he said. “There was no way in hell that we were ready to go out there and play a game."
At that point, McDermott left the locker room. Outside, Taylor and Smith were there, along with Dawn Aponte, the NFL’s chief football administrative officer. The decision was made that the game would be suspended.
From there, though, McDermott’s job wasn’t over. In many ways, it was just getting started. The Bills flew back to Buffalo and scheduled a team meeting for noon Tuesday – which is usually the players’ day off. The purpose was to provide counseling for any players or staff that felt like they needed it.
NFLPA president J.C. Tretter said Thursday it was a “clear no” to resume the Buffalo Bills-Cincinnati Bengals game Monday night following Bills safety Damar Hamlin’s injury and questioned why it took so long for the league to suspend the game.
“We opened up Tuesday at that meeting with the entire team, that everyone is going to handle this in their own way and have respect for each other in that regard,” McDermott said.
The coach himself mentioned that he has reached out to some of his counterparts in the league to learn from how they have dealt with traumatic events.
“Obviously, not one is exactly like this, but they've been great,” he said. “From Joe Gibbs to Mike Tomlin, Romeo Crennel. I know a couple of our coaches have spoken with Marvin Lewis as well. So that, albeit unfortunate, those situations that have come up have been good resources for us, and will continue to be.”
His peers have reached out to him. Coaches around the league have lauded the way McDermott and Taylor dealt with the situation.
"The way they handled it was exemplary and something to be proud of as a coach in this league," said Ravens coach John Harbaugh, who worked with McDermott early in their careers. "I thought it was very impressive."
An Ohio man visiting Niagara Falls as part of a cross-country escapade to celebrate his 40th birthday left a gift in front of the Buffalo Bills store early Thursday: a brand-new folding table scrawled with a message to Bills Mafia.
McDermott was asked Thursday how his mental health was holding up.
“Again, this isn't about me. I appreciate you asking,” he said. “I'm human, just like anybody else. There have been moments as we just had, that it overwhelms you, and it's come up more than a couple of times for me at different points in time. Like anybody else, I need to be able to have enough self-awareness to know when I need to break and when I need to seek out a counselor, as well. So I think it's important to know that that's not a sign of weakness, if anything that's a sign of strength. People need to know that out there.”
“More than anything, his vulnerability has been huge for us,” center Mitch Morse said of his head coach. “This sport at times can be such a 'macho, tough-man’ thing, and I think when you look at this team room, no one had any macho left to give. We were all just trying to process this together, and I think he was such a good figure to kind of see how he was coping with it, his vulnerability, his emotions at times, which he had already spoken about, kind of gave us the opportunity to just let our guard down, and I think that's the biggest thing this whole time is being able to let your guard down so you can heal without having any wall to hold you back.”
The Bills still need to prepare for a game. It will come at 1 p.m. Sunday against the Patriots at Highmark Stadium, giving them precious remaining time to prepare – mentally and physically.
“You open up just echoing what Sean's message was at times, which was, 'Hey, if you need a moment, it's cool. This is uncharted territory for all of us,' " Morse said. "We're here for each other. This season has been a roller-coaster of a season, not only as a community, but as a team. Nothing can quite reach what this has meant to us, but let your guard down if you need it and guys will be there for each other.”
While the team returned home after the game was suspended, Buffalo Bills general manager Brandon Beane stayed in Cincinnati to be with safety Damar Hamlin and his family.
In the franchise’s darkest moment, McDermott’s No. 1 trait came to light.
“Just what we knew about coach before, his humanity,” Morse said. “The fact that he’s here to coach football, we’re here to play football. He’s here to delegate certain things to, if you want to call, subordinates. But when it comes to player safety, our personal lives, he’s been unwavering in this. This is kind of the most paramount time, doubled down on it was the fact he’s a human being. He has our safety and well-being at the forefront of his mind at all times.
"When the stakes were at their highest, not only for football, but for the young man’s life, that there was no thought about football, rather just the welfare of his team, and of course Damar.”
