Editor's note: This story was first published Aug. 29, 2023. Martell Irby, a transfer senior defensive back and captain on the 2023 Arizona football team, was awarded a scholarship by UA coach Jedd Fisch prior to the Wildcats' 38-3 season-opening win Saturday over NAU.
The interview has barely begun, and Martell Irby is thanking us.
“It’s a blessing,” he says, “to be able to speak with you guys.”
Ask Irby’s new Arizona coaches and teammates about him, and they have nothing but rave reviews.
Jedd Fisch says Irby’s leadership and maturity are “through the roof.”
Duane Akina says Irby is “one of the most passionate football players” he has coached in 40-plus years in the business.
Safety Gunner Maldonado says no newcomer has had a bigger influence in the Wildcats’ locker room.
I ask Maldonado why that is.
“Just his energy and his story,” Maldonado says of Irby, who last week was named a team captain. “He has an energy about him that he brings every day. I’ve known him for, I don’t know how many months now, only months, but I love that kid. He’s awesome.”
Irby seemed happy to talk to us, I tell Maldonado. He seemed happy to be here. He seemed appreciative of the opportunity to play for Arizona.
Defensive back Martell Irby makes a catch during warmup drills as part of a UA preseason workout at Arizona Stadium on Aug. 12. Irby has returned to football after sitting out the 2022 season to deal with his mental health.
“That’s him,” Maldonado says. “Don’t take this moment for granted. Enjoy it, embrace it, be thankful for it.”
Passionate, energetic, joyful, unfailingly polite — that’s the Martell Irby his UA family has come to know.
The Irby he’s told them about? The “story” part of this story?
That’s much more complex.
‘Internal war’
Martell Irby joined the Arizona football team in January as a walk-on — over five years after he had verbally committed to the Wildcats.
Irby, a star running back from San Diego, had been recruited by Rich Rodriguez and Calvin Magee. After Rodriguez was fired, Irby signed with UCLA. He spent four seasons in Westwood as a scholarship tailback and defensive back.
“It’s kind of like a full-circle moment,” Irby says. “Crazy to be back here. It’s a lot different. But it feels as though this is where I’m supposed to be.”
Irby is Arizona’s second-team nickel back, a member of its “dollar” defensive package, a special-teamer and, by all accounts, a special person.
He truly does appreciate the opportunity he found here, because, for the better part of a year, Irby felt lost.
In the spring of 2022, Irby got into a car accident. His ride was totaled. He suffered a concussion.
In June of that year, Irby retired from football. A multi-talented musician, Irby wrote and recorded a song about his decision, titling it: “This Is Goodbye.”
At one point, Irby sings about friends “texting me, saying, ‘Tell, you not alone.’ Why is that just how I feel? Why is that just how I feel when I fall? This don’t mean I’m suicidal. But I’m tired of living this life.”
Dig a little deeper into Irby’s YouTube page, and you’ll find something even more jarring than those lyrics. Entitled “I Up and Left Everything,” it starts out like the other music videos he’s made under his stage name, “Audemar Tell.” Then it becomes something entirely different — a raw, revealing confessional.
Sitting in a chair in a sparsely furnished bedroom, Irby details the day, during that same spring of 2022, when he had to “disconnect from the world.”
“I remember waking up for practice, another day for me, and just feeling like (expletive),” Irby says in the video. “People that know me know I’ve been having this internal war about football, whether I should keep playing or let it go. I just remember my mind being (expletive) up more than usual about it all.
“Usually I can push through. But it wasn’t working.”
Irby walked out the door, leaving his phone, his keys and his computer behind.
“I just keep walking. I don’t stop,” he says. “I was anxious. I was angry. I was all over the place. I was sad. I was not in a good place.”
Irby wandered around Los Angeles. He prayed. He got on a bus. He fell asleep. He didn’t know where he was. He got another bus.
Hours later, Irby arrived at a park. He borrowed a phone from someone who was playing basketball. He texted the phone he’d left behind. One of his brothers came to pick him up.
“I gotta get out of here, for real,” Irby told him.
The next day, he flew home to San Diego.
‘It’s OK to not be OK’
Why did Irby feel the need to bare his soul? To expose all his vulnerabilities?
“The main reason I wanted to do this video is just to speak on the importance of having the right people in your circle. ... I’ve got amazing people in my circle,” Irby says.
“I just want y’all to make sure that y’all surround yourself with people who make you feel heard, make you feel valued, make you feel ... like you matter.”
Irby found comfort and support at home. He’s the second youngest of five siblings.
Martell Irby, left, runs to the end zone for a touchdown for UCLA past Hawaii quarterback Chevan Cordeiro during the second half of their game on Aug. 28, 2021, in Pasadena, Calif.
Asked after a recent UA practice where his passion and leadership skills come from, Irby cited his “big family.”
“Just understanding that we’re all a unit,” he said, “and we all need each other.”
Michael Lev is a senior writer/columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, Tucson.com and The Wildcaster.
Irby’s circle has expanded since he came here. His platform has grown as well. After months and months away from the game — more on that in a bit — Irby is back in the spotlight as a college football player. He embraces the opportunity to talk about mental health.
“It can’t be harped on enough,” he says. “We do all of this, we work ourselves into the ground for an outcome, but where you go mentally in the process is never really talked about.
“I feel like there’s so many young people that need to understand that going through something is OK. It’s OK to talk about it. It’s OK to not be OK.”
The comeback
Today, it’s as clear as the sky above Tucson on a summer day to Martell Irby: He missed football.
While he was away, while he was trying to figure out his life, it was all a bit muddled.
Irby graduated from UCLA in June 2022. He has many interests outside of football. He can play the saxophone and the piano. He was a member of the jazz ensemble at the San Diego School of Creative and Performing Arts. He made the Athletic Director’s Honor Roll multiple times at UCLA, where he majored in African American Studies. He’s pursuing a master’s degree in real estate development at the UA.
And yet, after he left Westwood, Irby didn’t know what to do with himself.
“I had no idea,” he says.
This isn’t uncommon, even for someone like Irby, who was never all football, all the time. You do this thing that occupies most of your bandwidth for most of your life. Then it’s gone. Poof. Now what?
Oklahoma safety Patrick Fields (10) and cornerback Tre Brown (6) move in to tackle Martell Irby (26), then with UCLA, in the second half of their game in Norman, Okla., on Sept. 8, 2018.
Irby tried to make the best of the downtime. He reflected on his life.
“It benefited me in ways that I can’t even really explain,” he says. “I allowed myself to have that time, sit with the emotions I was feeling about whatever it may have been.”
Last fall, Irby watched football the way most of us do — without a real stake in the outcome. But the game’s pull is powerful. Even as he struggled with his mental health, he never stopped loving the sport.
Irby had one year of eligibility left. And he understood what he calls “the reality of time.” Football is a young man’s game. If he wanted to make a comeback, he had to act.
In December, Irby reached out to Arizona defensive coordinator Johnny Nansen, who had been on the staff at UCLA.
“I was 100% honest with Johnny,” Irby says. “ ‘Coach, I’m overweight. ... I’ve been chilling, not doing too much.’ But Coach Johnny knew me. He knows the type of person I am.
“I told him, ‘Coach, you give me this opportunity, I’m just gonna run with it. I’m gonna work hard every day.’ And he said, ‘I believe you.’
“He told me that he had a spot for me. He didn’t have a scholarship, but he had a spot. I said, ‘OK, Coach.’ And ... I’m thankful.”
If any UA walk-on deserves a scholarship, it’s Irby. Hopefully, by the time you read this, he will have received one. But that isn’t why he’s here.
“I’m doing this because I love football,” Irby says. “Not because they’re paying me. Not because I’m on scholarship. Not because it’s cheap or it makes my life easier.”
Defensive back Martell Irby (12) reacts to a play with his UCLA teammates during the second half of a game against Cal on Nov. 27, 2021, in Pasadena, Calif.
Irby says he’s striving to be the best version of himself and a positive influence for the younger men on the team who “may not really understand how blessed we are.” He has come to appreciate the opportunities football has afforded him — an education, a second family, another outlet to express himself.
“It sounds like something out of a movie,” Irby says. “But I’m just living it day to day. It’s good to be here. I love that I’m here, right now, with these people, these coaches, everyone, top to bottom.
“It’s everything that I prayed for — everything I could ask for and more.”
Martell Irby seems happy. I hope he really is.
Because, as Irby himself can attest, you never know what someone’s going through.
Arizona's loss to Northern Arizona in 2021 was the Wildcats' first setback to the Lumberjacks since 1932. (Video by Justin Spears / Arizona Daily Star)
