Their first date was Sept. 25, 1995.
Neal Williams and his wife, Julianne Hurst-Williams, remember it like it was yesterday.
They went to Applebee's and spent three hours there, talking and picking at their food. Neither of them really liked the restaurant, but were enjoying the company. Then they went to a movie, got coffee and pie and walked around the Crossroads Festival shopping center.
"The funny thing was he was trying to think of some place just non-committal for lunch and picked Applebee's," Julianne said. "He didn't know I was a totally independent restaurant kind of girl. So we go to Applebee's and it was terrible and so was his. So, we both kinda picked at our food ... So, on our one-year anniversary of our date, we went to Applebee's again."
It wasn't any better the second time around, but neither of them wanted to hurt the other's feelings.
"So, on the second anniversary he goes 'wanna go to Applebee's?' and I said, 'No, I don't,' and he goes, 'Boy am I relieved. I don't either,'" Julianne said. "Then we confessed to each other that once was enough."
But, it didn't deter their feelings for each other.
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We're adding a little happiness to your Facebook feed with 14 days of Tucson love stories through Feb. 14 in honor of Valentine's Day. Grab your coffee and read on for a quick smile.
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How they met
When Julianne got tired of being the only mom to bring snacks and water to her son's soccer practices, she started looking for a new league to join.
She got the phone book out and saw one that said 153. Since she was born in January of 1953, she took it as a sign and called to find out the neighborhood boundaries. Luckily, her mom's address fell within the boundaries, so she used her address.
"I went there and he was the coach," Julianne said. "I saw his legs and the rest was history."
"She was the only parent who stayed during practices so I started talking to her," Neal said.
The other coach gave him space to sneak over to chat.
Those friendly exchanges eventually led to romance. The couple has been together for 22 years, 17 of those as husband and wife.
Julianne, a retired locomotive engineer, has two grown children and Neal, an IT guy for Vantage West, has one.
"My son says Neal is his role model," Julianne said. "He calls and checks in with him. He probably talks to him more than he talks to me."
To celebrate Valentine's Day, we are telling Tucson's best love stories for the first 14 days of February.
First impressions
Julianne: There was just something about him. I just liked him right away. I've said I believe in love at first sight now. I just liked him right away and I can't tell you why. It wasn't an appearance thing. It was a feeling.
Neal: I liked our conversations because I felt very comfortable. I always felt like I was being somebody I wasn't around women, but around Julianne, I was able to be myself. We laughed and joked and she was outrageous. Some of her replies stunned me. She was funny and seemed very relaxed around me.
Defining moment
Julianne: For me it was a series of events. I really looked forward to seeing him. Looking back at it, it was only four or five years at the time, but I realized if I still felt that way about someone after four or five years, I really loved him. It stayed. It didn't wear off. It just stayed really good and I felt so good with him.
But if I had to put it down to a time, it was right around Christmas when we had only been together three months, and I told my sister because we have Christmas Eve at my mom's. I said I'm gonna be bringing Neal. And she said, 'Really?' And I said 'Yeah...I'm bringing him and I don't care what you say. He's gonna be part of the family...That was three months in."
Neal: I don't know how to explain it but periodically through our relationship I am in love with her at different moments. It's like she says something, she just stands there and I look at her differently. She doesn't even have to do anything and then I realize I'm still in love with her.
First glimpse of character
Julianne: Our trip to San Diego was when I got a glimpse of his character because I had prepaid for zoo tickets ... And we get up, have breakfast and we go to the zoo and when we get up to the door I'm like I don't know where the tickets are. I'm looking and being quiet and then I look at him and I go, 'I don't know where the tickets are.' And he says, 'That's okay. Let's go back and look for them.' And I'm like, 'Wow he didn't yell or anything.' So we go back to the car and we're looking and I stick my finger in my watch pocket (I never put anything in there) and there were the tickets. And he was like, 'Okay. Let's go in.' And he was totally cool. I was used to a certain amount of attitude so it was nice to be with somebody who didn't make a big deal out of something like that.
Neal: Everyone has a dark secret. I don't have to get into the details, but when I thought I had what I thought would be a deal breaker, she said, 'Oh I thought it was gonna be something horrible.' Her lack of reaction that it wasn't an issue.
As far as being casual and just being myself around her, we don't put up different personas. It's always been very consistent. She felt her first husband was two different people from when they met to later. My first wife was somewhat of a Jekyll and Hyde.
Julianne and Neal on their honeymoon.
Quirky or endearing habit
Julianne: He says the same thing over and over again sometimes.
Neal: You know, like a broken record.
Julianne: He'll say something weird like, 'I'm gonna make waffles,' and then he'll say it again and again ... He's waiting for me to react. It's just really funny. It's always something different at a different time of day.
Neal: The most endearing thing about my wife is she's the most smart person I know. Because I knew her in the 90s before the internet, I'd be talking to someone and I'd say hang on, and I'd call my wife and say, 'Can you tell me what this means?' ... She was my Google ... And she didn't look it up. She knew the answer. That was always this constant thing is I was always amazed at how smart she was and she never made me feel less.
Julianne: You're not.
Neal: We all have our strengths. One of my weaknesses is I'm not as well-read as she is and it's never been an issue. Julianne doesn't criticize me.
Julianne: He has a different clock than me. He gets 28 hours worth of stuff done in one day. When he's not around my clock slows down and I get three hours of stuff done in one day. I'll come home and can't believe what he's gotten done.
Neal: I want to surprise her with something different so when she walks in the wall is different or I've put something together that she has asked me to.
Advice for longevity
Neal: Trust is kinda sacred in that when you lose it it's hard to get back. We don't have fights. We've had disagreements, but we don't have fights. That's when you say things and do things to hurt the other person. But Julianne has never hurt me. Not intentionally, so I never had to be the person that felt like I had to retaliate. But trust is so important that I trust she didn't try to hurt me or she would be there for me even if she was mad at me. I trust that she can trust me and I can trust her and it all works out.
Julianne: It's absolute and complete trust. I think that's part of the real love thing. It's love. It's not possession or anything like that. You love that person even when they're outside of your sphere doing something that doesn't have anything to do with you.
Pick your battles. Don't sweat the small stuff. I remember when we first started dating how he didn't notice a difference in outfits I wore. He didn't notice certain things like that and I was like, 'Wow he doesn't notice.' But he notices so many other things that it doesn't matter. I can be the least tiny bit worried about something and he'll know. Or somebody can hurt my feelings the tiniest bit and he can be like, 'Something's bothering you.' He's so sensitive to people's feelings it doesn't matter if he doesn't notice they got their nose pierced or beard shaved.
Neal: I am the type of guy that can see his friend who just shaved his beard and can't figure out what's different. When she gets her hair done, I have to remind myself 'She got her hair done. She got her hair done.'
Both agree on the importance of being best friends.
Final thoughts
Neal: We don't hesitate to say on Facebook how we feel ... We can say the things that are truly in our hearts. I'm not embarrassed to say that in front of my friends ... You can actually say how you feel about your wife and how important she is.
Julianne: He loves my family so much, oh my gosh. And they love him so much. I'm so glad my dad got to meet him before he died. I'm so glad he's been so close to my mom. She's 96. I'm very lucky. Very very lucky.
