Aside from being editor in chief at the UA Daily Wildcat, Alex Dalenberg had one job: not to fall in love with his copy chief, Heather Price-Wright.
The two had become great friends — thanks to countless late-night conversations in the newsroom — the kind of friends that could talk for hours without getting bored.
Heather didn't want to mess that up. So, she told Alex not to fall in love with her.
"I think we were talking about crushes in general...It was kind of a funny joke," Alex said. "I took it to heart. 'Ok, don't fall in love.'"
"So he took it seriously, 'Ok Heather is off limits,'" Heather recalled. "We were really good friends and I wanted to foreclose on ruining that, especially while working together and it felt like not a good idea...I failed obviously."
Heather Price-Wright and Alex Dalenberg at Buckelew Farm.
About a week after the semester ended, Heather sent Alex a text asking if he wanted to hang out with mutual friends at the Tap Room in Hotel Congress.
So he got one of his friends and joined them.
"I went with a friend of mine and we were having drinks at the Tap Room and I think Heather went to the bathroom and my friend Will said 'I think she really likes you man' and I was like 'no way.' I was like 'nah, that's crazy.'"
"But then we kissed at the end of the night. I initiated that," Heather said. " I think I kissed you. And then we went to the Grill, RIP, and got tator tots and Alex got up to go to the bathroom and his friend Will turned to me and was all 'what are your intentions with my friend?' And I said 'my intentions are good.' And he said 'then my work here is done' and he left. He like ran away into the night. The next day I went to Alex's best friend's birthday at his apartment and I was like 'I guess this is a thing now because I'm here'...And it was."
That was during the Christmas holidays.
"We're both from Phoenix so we met each other's parents like a week in because we were home with our parents," Heather recalled. "So, Alex had to pick me up like we were in high school. And we've been together ever since."
Alex and Heather got engaged in September 2014 and were married in April 2016.
Alex and Heather now live and work in New York City and cohost a podcast called the Quibbler, about Harry Potter.
It came about after listening to the audio books together while cooking. They'd pause to make observations and funny jokes.
"We thought we should do this for other people," Heather said. "We thought we were very funny."
To celebrate Valentine's Day, we are telling Tucson's best love stories for the first 14 days of February.
First impressions
Heather: He doesn't remember this as well, but I remember. I worked on the editorial board the semester before and I remember interviewing him for editor-in-chief. I remember him being extremely smart...I remember being really impressed with his mind. I had never heard a student talk so confidently about his likes and beliefs about journalism and the duties of the media and he was very serious and very smart...He was almost somber about the importance of the job. I liked that a lot.
Alex: Heather can answer any question you can throw at her. My first impression in the newsroom was 'oh Heather runs this place. I do not.' It was clear that Heather should have had my job and I should have been working for her in some capacity. I think they called her the fairy godmother of the newsroom. She knew what everybody was all about and what needed to happen.
Favorite quality
Heather: He's really kind and people like Alex immediately. He's the most immediately warm and sunny and friendly person to be around. Every conversation I had with him he was very present and nice and interesting and extremely easy to talk to in a way I didn't find most guys to talk to...He tells really really good stories, even a little bit of a ham, but in a good way. He was telling a funny anecdote on the couch at the Wildcat and I thought, 'I could listen to this forever.' I wasn't really thinking romantically, but I thought I could talk to him every day and not get bored. His whole demeanor was comforting and warm and delightful.
Alex: You stole what I was gonna say. We had these really long conversations in your weird copy-pod-like cubicle and I remember there were two chairs, her chair and this other one that was missing a wheel so it would dip down, but in this really comfortable way that was satisfying to me. It was like an office chair recliner. I would just sit in this chair after hours and we would chat about everything: work, books, news, our lives. And I remember one night after a difficult day I remember thinking I could talk to Heather forever and not be bored. But, I'm under strict orders not to fall in love, so I should destroy these feelings forever.
Alex Dalenberg and Heather Price-Wright at Coney Island in New York City.
Quirkiness
Heather: Whenever he's thinking he has to walk around throwing a tennis ball in the air. He's a very kinetic thinker, so he's wandering around the house crashing into things with a tennis ball.
Alex: Heather really thinks roombas are cute...She loves videos of roombas.
Heather: I do. I think they're like pets.
Alex: All of Heather's habits are very type A. Most are like 'wow that's a habit I should have.'
When they knew it was serious
Heather: When we moved from Tucson to New York together I was like 'if we're making this decision we are making THE decision.' And it's a matter of not if but when we make it official. I loved Alex a lot and I really wanted it to work, but I don't think I was always sure it was for keeps. But when we made this crazy play to come to the city together, I was like, 'it seems like we are designing our lives as a life together' and to me that was meaningful because coming to New York was my prerogative more than his. So, the fact he wanted to come with me and make this work because I wanted this adventure, I was like ok this person is a part of my plans from now on because that was a big thing to do for me. That's when I knew he was probably the one.
Alex: Basically immediately. But, I couldn't share that until we got married because it seemed way too creepy and clingy. As soon as we started dating I was thinking well my life changed forever. I don't know. I just knew on some level that we could break up or maybe it wouldn't work out but I was pretty determined to make it work. I knew I would try really hard to make a good relationship and keep it going...I kind of skipped the weird hesitant part in a lot of ways.
The proposal
Alex: It was September. I had ordered the ring and went to the jeweler to pick it up when it came in and I hadn't thought of a way to propose yet but when I picked up the ring I thought 'I'm not gonna be able to hang on to this and keep it a secret for long' because I felt very excited. So I got a bunch of very Brooklyn-type snacks and got like a bottle of wine and went home and made a nice spread. And I proposed.
Heather: I was surprised in the moment but I knew it was coming. We are grownups. We had been talking about it. Every time Alex had a couple drinks and I wasn't around he told like ten people, so all of our friends knew...I wasn't surprised at the overall arc, but I didn't expect it that night.
You told me to put on something fancy, so I got home and put on a dress. And I remember coming home on the subway and I was like today is really glittery and special.
Alex: It was the first cool fall day.
Heather: There was a quality to the day that I felt fizzy all day so it was perfect. It was great. I didn't want anything super choreographed or staged and we needed to be at our home because I wept. I would have made a fool out of myself. I cried a lot.
Alex: Heather is a crier.
Alex and Heather were married April 9, 2016 at the Farm at South Mountain in Phoenix.
Best wedding moment
Heather: We had Tim from the Wildcat play a song on his guitar. He has a really nice voice. He's a singer/songwriter. He played "This Must Be the Place" by The Talking Heads. And I just remember it gave us a little bit of a moment to catch our breath because we were standing there and everybody was listening to the performance and we got to be together and actually look at each other for the first time. I just remember feeling really calm and really happy and having that moment to breathe and just be holding hands and seeing everybody and not really being the center of attention was really special.
Alex: That was a good moment. Everybody gave killer speeches. Tim's speech was exactly as long as the Gettysburg Address. He modeled it after the opening lines of Hamilton the musical which was big.
Our first dance was really nice...Sometimes I'm like I should have just looked at Heather more at the wedding. I did a lot. She was so beautiful. I definitely did during the first dance...I thought I spent a lot of time talking to everybody. I should have gazed at my wife. Any gazing part was solid.
Heather: We had a lot of fun at our wedding.
Alex: I ate wedding cake out of your hand.
Heather: You did!
Advice for couples
Heather: I don't think it's important to have the same interests necessarily, but I think it's important to be attentive to and respectful of the things your partner cares about...You don't have to be into something to understand it's important to the person you love and to give that space.
Alex: I would say, therapy if you need it. I had horrible anxiety early in our relationship and it was causing me to not build commitments professionally or to other people and I just needed to work through some things. Taking care of yourself and not being afraid to address things that need addressing. I think more people should just talk through things...Being aware that taking care of yourself means taking care of the other person is very important...The better you as an individual are feeling, the better partner you are. Part of maintaining a relationship is self care...Fear not couples counseling. It does not mean you are a failure. It means you care. I put that out there because I think there's a stigma against it.
Heather: Everybody needs some help and support.
