7 ways to develop a good parent-teacher relationship

Parents and teachers have the same goals for their children — to give them knowledge and teach them skills that will be useful to them in their lives.

So it would make sense that they form a partnership and work toward those goals together, as part of a team.

Like any relationship, forming and fostering that partnership takes some work.

But as a parent it is beneficial for all involved — you, the teacher and, most importantly, your child.

“It’s important because parents and teachers are two vital pieces in the picture-puzzle of a child’s future,” said Sandy Merz, an eighth grade teacher at Safford K-8. “The closer we match and fit together, the more complete and meaningful that future will be.”

Here are seven tips to having a good parent-teacher relationship from three of Tucson’s award-winning teachers.

1

Talk about your child

“I always remind my parents that they are the number one advocate for their child. No one knows your child better than you do,” says Ashley Curtis, fifth grade teacher at Vail Academy and High School. “At the start of the year I hold listening conferences in which parents are invited to meet with me before school starts to talk about their child on a personal, social, emotional and academic level. So I would say, take time to sit down and talk with your child’s teacher, tell them what your child does for fun, what they play, how they play and what they do when they are upset or frustrated.”

Talking about your child with the teacher shouldn’t wait until there’s an emergency, says Cymry DeBoucher, honors internship teacher at Canyon del Oro High School. “Start trying to have a relationship with that teacher right away.”

2

Talk about what’s working and challenges

“One thing teachers never hear enough about is what we’re doing right for that child,” DeBoucher says. “My child has wonderful teachers and so we get to hear these wonderful things our son says about his teachers, so I’m able to go back in as a parent and say ‘Thank you so much’ ... That helps teachers know what they’re doing right ... It’s just a helpful thing for teachers to know that.”

Give your child’s teacher a snapshot of the whole child by communicating both positive observations as well as challenges or concerns, Curtis says.

3

Be visible

“Volunteer in the classroom and if that isn’t possible, volunteer to take home work to staple, cut, write, et cetera,” Curtis says. “Attend classroom and school events whenever possible. This gives parents a chance to see what’s happening in the classroom and build a common language between student, teacher and family. This is a partnership between child, teacher and parent.”

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4

Encourage your kids to engage

Teachers have a lot of kids to keep track of with a set curriculum they have to go by.

“We can adjust to a degree, but we need parents to encourage their kids to engage,” DeBoucher says. “Most all education programs have online grading that parents can see in, pretty close to real time, how their children are doing. If you see your child is getting zeros in classwork, you can assume they are not engaging during class. Then you can say to your child, ‘Why is this going on?’ and you can ask the teacher ‘What are you seeing in class and what would you like to be seeing?’ That way you can help the teacher.”

5

Gain the teacher’s perspective

DeBoucher notes that kids often look a lot different in class than they do at home.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just a completely different environment,” DeBoucher says. “Parents can think everything is going fine because, according to their child, everything is fine. Kids tend to report things based on a favorable perception of themselves, so it’s important to understand that and try to gain a teacher’s perspective on things.”

6

Ask for more details

Sometimes you just need information. Is your child’s grade low because he or she just didn’t write enough or did they completely miss the mark?

If you don’t see those details, ask.

“Grades that are reported in the grade book, they’re just a number,” DeBoucher says. “If you want the details, it’s important to email the teacher. The questions would be, ‘Did my child completely miss the mark on this assignment? What could they have done better? In the future what should they do differently?’ ”

7

Be empathetic

Parent-teacher relationships are two-way streets, Merz says.

“We both need to communicate our needs and limitations and try to find how we can help bridge the others’ gaps,” Merz says. “So, the best tips I could offer would be for everyone to be empathetic, growth-minded and always willing to ask ‘How can I help?’”