On that dark day in late August 2021 when 13 U.S. service members were killed in Afghanistan, a regular came into Growlers Taphouse, the Marana restaurant/bar Dawn McMillan owns with her son Dustin.
The man was upset; he looked like he'd been crying.
The former Marine took a seat at the bar and ordered 14 shots, one for himself and one each for those 13 lost soldiers.
The bartender lined the glasses side by side. The Marine raised his glass and toasted. He left the other shots for anyone who wanted to toast the soldiers.
Sheron Jones, president of Southern Arizona Gold Star Mothers, stands in front of a memorial wall at Growlers, 8275 N. Silverbell Road. The memorial wall honors those who died while serving in combat or afterwards. Jones lost her son, SSG Darrel D. Kasson, in 2007, when he was serving in the Iraq War.
Another soldier came in and reserved a table in the corner for those 13 soldiers. McMillan put a "reserved" sign up and set the table with those shots.
Over the next 13 days, that one table morphed into four, each set up with candles. Guests bought beers to add to the shots; others would stand silent at the table, and some would toast the empty seats.
That sobering gesture led to Growlers, 8275 N. Silverbell Road, establishing a permanent memorial that started with setting the Missing Man Table, the symbolic display dating back to the Vietnam War that Growlers had been setting up nearly every Memorial Day since opening eight years ago.
The Missing Man Table is set with a plate containing a lemon wedge and salt, an upside-down wine glass, a black napkin with an empty chair and a book of faith. Everything symbolizes what the fallen soldier gave up, from the salt in their tears to the bitter fate that took them away.
The Missing Man table is set up at Growlers, 8275 N. Silverbell Road. The table, also known as a fallen comrade table, is a memorial that represents all service members in the United States Armed Forces who have fallen, are missing, or imprisoned.
Growler's has a Bible turned to John 15, with verse 13 highlighted: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
Gold Star mom Sheron Jones, who had met McMillan at the neighboring Marana bar The Station during a military fundraising event, suggested adding photographs to the wall, starting with her son, Staff Sgt. Darrel D. Kasson.
SSG Darrel D. Kasson, who died in 2007 while serving in the Iraq War.
Kasson was killed in action on March 4, 2007, in Baiji, Iraq. He had been leading a 27-vehicle convoy logistic patrol when he hit an improvised explosive device. He was 43 and left behind a wife and three kids.
Jones invited more Gold Star families to share their photos and stories, including Orlin “Skip” Moen. His son, Robert C. Hammett, was an interpreter assigned to accompany State Department officials meeting with a dozen Middle East sheiks in June 2008 when a bomb went off. Sixteen people, including Hammett died; he was 39 and left behind five daughters.
Orlin “Skip” Moen, a member of the Southern Arizona Gold Star Mothers, talks about his son, CW3 Robert C. Hammett, who died in 2008 during the Iraq War. Hammett’s photo hangs on the memorial wall at Growlers, 8275 N. Silverbell Road. The wall honors those who died while serving in combat or afterwards.
"I just started asking Gold Star families, 'Do you want your son (or daughter) to be on the wall to be remembered,' and it just has grown from there," said Jones, president of the Tucson chapter of American Gold Star Mothers, which raises money to place holiday wreaths on the graves of more than 1,500 soldiers buried in Tucson's Evergreen Cemetery.
That back wall is now filled with nearly 20 photographs of fallen soldiers; they have also opened the memorial to first responders killed in the line of duty.
Dawn McMillan, co-owner of Growlers.
Jones has compiled a thick binder that sits on the empty chair at the Missing Man Table. It has photos and bios of the dead, recounting how they died and how they lived.
Six were from Mountain View High School in Marana, including Sam Huff, the only woman on the memorial wall.
Huff was killed in 2005 when the Humvee she was driving outside Baghdad was struck by a roadside bomb. She was just 18.
There are the Spangenberg brothers, Nathan L. and Colin R., who were casualties of war's aftermath; both died within a few years of coming home from battle.
There's Army Specialist Chris Moon, a standout baseball player from Tucson High who gave up a shot to play for the Atlanta Braves to join the military. He was killed when he stepped on a landmine in Afghanistan in summer 2010; he was 20 years old.
Army Command Sgt. Maj. Martin R. Barreras, who graduated from Sunnyside High School, was 49 years old when he died a week after his unit was attacked in Afghanistan in May 2014.
Pueblo High Magnet School alum Private Damian Lopez-Rodriguez was killed in 2007 — same circumstances and same Iraqi city as Huff. He was 19 years old.
One of the most heart-wrenching stories for Jones is that of Staff Sgt. Emile Rivera-Lopez, who never came home. He went missing after the helicopter he was in crashed during a training mission in Yemen in 2006 and was officially declared dead in 2017. He was 31.
"His parents will never have closure," Jones said, pointing to the picture of the uniformed soldier with a chest full of medals.
About a third of Growler's memorial wall is filled, a heart-wrenching reminder of war's human toll. Anyone who wants to add their loved one is welcome, McMillan said.
"We don't want to see more people on the wall," Jones said. "But we're looking back at the ones that have given their lives and we want them to be remembered."
Veterans Day honors men and women who have served in the US armed forces.
