Standing on the edge of the roof of the 5151 building, I can see all of Tucson. The sky goes on forever.
So does this building. At least it seems that way. It is a long way down from up here.
My mind is spinning and I'm pretty sure my knuckles are white from holding on so tightly.
I can hear my work posse and friends cheering for me, though they're too tiny to actually see since I'm 17 stories off the ground.
The ground. I love it down there. What am I doing up here?
Listening intently as Over the Edge staff tell me what to do, I giggle nervously. My hands are shaking. I really want to cry. But. I put on my brave face.
If you're not familiar, Over the Edge provides rappelling events for non-profit organizations. Participants raise pledges in exchange for rappelling over the edge of a local building.
I'm about to rappel from the top of one of Tucson's tallest buildings. It's for a fundraiser the Girl Scouts of Southern Arizona do annually, where each participant that raises at least $1,000 gets to go down the side of the 5151 building on East Broadway. This Is Tucson got a media invite and we couldn't resist.
I'm hoping with every fiber of my being that trusting this harness, these ropes and the experts at OTE to get me to the ground safely isn't a mistake.
The ground. I hope I don't fall and become part of it (I don't love it THAT much). Over the Edge is a stickler for safety. I read all about the organization in the days leading up to this one. Since its inception in 2004, nobody has been injured or killed.
That was supposed to make me feel better, but in a weird way I feel like I've jinxed myself. This is how my brain works.
I'm scared. But, I'm also excited. I'm about to face fear and tell it who's boss. I'm about to do something adventurous. Something that many people will never do.
I kind of want to walk away and go home. But, I can't. Imma do this. For myself. For my son, who was scared something would happen. For all the girls out there who don't think they can grab life by the balls and live adventurously.
And for ultimate bragging rights. I mean, who does this???
This girl. That's who.
All suited up trying to pretend my heart isn't about to come out of my throat.
How I got into this
We were sitting around the conference table at the This Is Tucson weekly planning meeting talking about upcoming events when I opened my big mouth.
"I'd totally do Over the Edge if there was a space...I need adventure."
Next thing I knew I had an email from the Girl Scouts saying I was signed up. Wait, what?
That's when the freak out began.
My friends all told me I suck because they want to do it. My husband says he's jealous because he'd love to do something like that. In theory, I want to do it, too...In theory.
My son freaked out and actually cried when I told him what I was thinking of doing (aw, he does love me). So, that made me even more nervous. I mean, what if something happened?
I drive by the 5151 building every day and never think anything of it. Except at night, when the blue lights are on. Then I think it's kinda pretty.
But after saying I'd do this, my stomach tightens at the sight of it — my Everest.
It's a tall building — 17 stories to be exact. Pretty close to Everest if you ask me.
Why rappelling
You may wonder why the Girl Scouts don't just do a 5K. It's the more sane way to go, you might think. But, that's the point.
It's a challenge that takes major courage.
"Over the Edge is an activity that calls for participants to show their personal strength both physically and personally. Our mission is to build girls of courage, confidence, character...It takes courage to go over the edge," said Debbie Rich, CEO of the Girl Scouts of Southern Arizona. "In addition, we challenge a select group of girls to rappel every year at our Camp Fury first-responder training camp. This is the perfect way to show our community what our girls are doing as Girl Scouts."
This year's event brought the Girl Scouts more than $100,000.
Today's the day
I've literally been obsessed with watching Over the Edge videos since I agreed to do this.
Most of them make me feel better. But, still nervous..Which, I guess is healthy.
As I drive to work this morning, the building doesn't seem quite as tall. When I get closer, I see OTE people setting up and my heart almost pounds out of my chest.
But, I feel oddly excited, too.
Forget Everest. This building and I are gonna be BFFs after this.
When I walk up to the building, I see a couple people descending. They look like they're having fun.
Ok, looks good. At least I'm not the one to test the ropes.
I walk into the lobby to check in and am greeted by such lovely smiling faces. All of them making sure I'm feeling OK.
"I'm pretty scared," I say to just about everybody.
"You'll be great. You'll love it," I am told.
They're pretty convincing until I get to the line on the waiver that talks about death and injury. Brave face on, I skim it and initial.
Going up
I take the elevator up to the 17th floor and get suited up. The Girl Scout people and the OTE staff are super friendly. They ask me if I need water, if I need anything else.
And then, I see Alicia Vega and Samantha Munsey from work. I'm so happy to see them I could kiss them. After a few photos and a quick video, they head downstairs and I go up to the roof.
Ah, we get to practice. Two nice gentlemen walk me through the gear and how to use it, plus check that my harness and everything is secure. Also, I'm super excited there's a safety device on one of the ropes. It'll stop me if I get going too fast.
"I'm going to tighten this up quite a bit," says one of them.
Safety checks were done along the entire way.
"Please. Tighten it as much as you think it needs to be," I say eagerly.
Now, I wait. Almost my turn.
When I hear my name, I take a deep breath (come on, yoga), and walk to the edge.
Fortunately I'm behind a gate while we do another safety check and get the ropes attached to my gear.
"I need you to take a step back," the volunteer tells me. Now I'm outside of the gate with only a few inches of the roof to stand on.
"Oh my God," I say on an exhale.
"You're doing great, Angela," Roni Ziemba, a Tucson photographer tells me. I find her presence comforting.
My knuckles are white. I just know it. My heart feels like it might burst.
I'm doing this. It's go time.
"Wooooh! Angela!!!" I hear from below.
It takes me a few times to get going, but I finally start my descent.
Roni says the best photo is when you walk down a little, lean back and let go of the rope so you get Tucson in the background.
After a few steps down the side of the building, my confidence up, I yell, "you want the picture now?"
"Yeah I do," Roni replies.
I let go, lean back and laugh. (Can't wait to see it) Not the funny, haha laugh. More like a maniacal laugh.
I'm not too far from the top and am still talking to the staff above. A woman who says she's the MacGyver of the Girl Scouts tells me to turn around and wave at my friends.
It's so high up, you can barely see me.
I do so and am rewarded with loud cheers from my people. Mad love for you guys.
I've totally got this.
I continue my descent. Still shaky, but enjoying the view. And the rush.
It's a pretty smooth ride down, with a few minor freak outs from the wind.
At the bottom, I can't believe what I just did. I'm kind of breathless as I'm helped out of the ropes and handed a water.
As I walk over to see my friends, I see my husband standing there. I'm so surprised and happy to see him, since he didn't think he'd be there. I see my girl tribe. They yell. I stand there, beaming and posing for pictures.
I can't believe what I just did. I'm so glad I didn't chicken out. I wanted to, but the rush I feel will stay with me forever.
Facing fear
Being on the edge of that building was the scariest part of the whole day for me and it taught me just how strong I can be.
I faced fear and crushed it. I can do anything.
I wouldn't say the building is my BFF now, but we're definitely connected. When I drive by I just smile and think of what I and so many others accomplished last weekend.
It was my Everest. And I beat it.
I want to give a shout out to the amazing people from OTE and to the Girl Scouts of Southern Arizona for such a great experience. Also, to my work posse, my girl tribe and my hubby for the incredible support. If you all didn't have my back, I probably would have chickened out.
