Dear Jeanne & Leonard:
Out-of-town friends stayed with us recently. After they left, we discovered theyโd taken with them all the nice, expensive small soaps that my wife had in a basket on the counter in the guest bathroom. Should we say something?
โ The Joneses, Connecticut
Dear Joneses:
We trust they left the towels.
Most folks understand the difference between being a hotel guest, where one is free to take home the soaps, lotions and other small amenities that the hotel supplies, and being a houseguest, where helping oneself to these same amenities falls somewhere between stealing and crazy. Still, a gracious host has to roll with some punches. If these soap-poachers are your good friends, we suggest you say nothing and hope someone else teaches them the rules. But the next time they stay at Chez Jones, hide that basket.
Dear Jeanne & Leonard:
I belong to an expensive fitness center, and there are signs everywhere saying cellphones are to be used only in the lobby area. Recently, however, a 40-something woman on the treadmill next to mine started talking loudly on her phone. When I politely reminded her about the gymโs policy and asked her to stop, she responded by switching on her speakerphone and raising her voice. So I got off my treadmill, found a staff member and asked him to talk to her. He did so, and, after tossing a few insults my way, the woman hung up. All in all, though, it was an unpleasant experience. My question is, what can I do to get the fitness center to enforce its own cellphone rule, which people are increasingly ignoring? I donโt want to play cop.
โ Stephanie R., San Francisco Bay Area
Dear Stephanie:
You mean you go to the gym to exercise, not to tangle with middle-aged brats?
To their discredit, many organizations prefer to rely on customers to deal with the problems other customers create. Airlines, for one, are slow to rein in the seat kickers or luggage-limit abusers who appropriate other passengersโ space. At least when you asked a staff member at your fitness center to take care of the problem, he did.
But if cellphone users are becoming a problem there, you need to encourage the manager to nip it in the bud โ to put up more signs saying cellphones may be used only in the lobby, and to have trainers not wait for a complaint before asking phone users to move to the lobby. Not a conversation you want to have? OK. But be forewarned: If the fitness center fails to act now โ if cellphones on the ellipticals start to become the norm โ you can kiss your quiet workouts there goodbye forever.
One more thing: Be sure to ask your friends at the gym to complain as well. The fitness center might not worry about losing one customer, but they donโt want to see an exodus start.
