It would be the role of a lifetime – at least judging from the hundreds of people who reportedly auditioned for the part.
Would it go to Meryl Streep, perhaps portraying Helen of Troy or maybe even Nancy Reagan? Or would the plum part go to Jennifer Lawrence, in yet another spinoff involving either a quiver of arrows or a mop?
No, the role would go to comedian Ilana Becker, cast in the definitive role of diarrhea. You read it right. Diarrhea.
Actually, her name in this TV commercial is Irritabelle, a lithe creature clad in a light brown bodysuit emblazoned with the entire intestinal tract on her tummy.
Her role is to stalk a woman plagued with irritable bowel syndrome, slithering behind her at the most inopportune times – just as diarrhea does. The aim, of course, is to sell a drug to calm one’s irritable bowl, in this case something called Viberzi.
Turns out, this is hardly groundbreaking material. In February another commercial aimed at combating irritable bowel syndrome via a drug called Xifaxan ran in the Super Bowl. That one featured animated pink intestines. Sorry I missed it.
Ah, but you can’t compete with the human element – at least, it would appear, when it comes to diarrhea. “I wanted this job from the moment I laid eyes on the copy,” Becker told Adweek.com.
She wasn’t alone. Can you imagine the excitement among some of the others who tried out for the role, perhaps even phoning Mom and Dad back home with the heady news that, “I’m so excited. I just got a second call-back for the role of diarrhea!”
Ah, but it was Becker who aced the deal, auditioning for the role via Skype from her bathroom. The competition didn’t stand a chance.
Do I detect a change in the wind — notwithstanding all those commercials for “unwanted gas”? Are humans actually going to start supplanting all those cute cartoon characters we’ve seen over the years in commercials for various ailments?
The first one I can recall was Speedy Alka-Seltzer, a baby-faced creature with a tablet body, mop of red hair and a bubbly wand poised to vanquish every troublesome burp.
Since then, other animated characters have come and gone over the years, ranging from an animated bee to plug the nasal allergy spray, Nasonex, to Digger, a gremlin representing a nail infection.
For my money the worst, by far, is Mr. Mucus, portraying the symptoms of nasal congestion. Oh, let’s call it what it really is: snot.
How you would portray that in human form is anybody’s guess, though I suppose it would involve some rather green and slippery costuming.
Compared to the menacing stances of Mr. Mucus and Digger, Irritabelle actually comes off rather playfully. So does another TV commercial character, this one in cartoon form, representing one’s bladder
Now I have no idea what a real bladder looks like. This one is pink, with enormous blue eyes — very sad blue eyes — that seem to apologize every time it drags a human lady off to go wee-wee.
So how would a cartoon bladder be portrayed by a human? Well, it would still have to be pink and round. And of course it would have to display those same sad-faced baby blues.
Say, I know just who could do the job: Ilana Becker. If you can play the role of diarrhea, portraying a little tinkle here and there ought to be a cinch.
