Well, here we are again in the midst of snowbird season. Time to toss out all memories of the snow shovel and bask in our desert sunshine.
But before the basking begins, here’s a little get-acquainted quiz for all you newcomers — visitors and newly-ensconced residents alike. Could make things a little easier the next time you try to order a rancho sin vacas down at Rosita’s.
- A chimichanga is:
A) A deep-fried tortilla enveloping some sort of meat.
B) A fearsome creature roaming the Southwest in search of goats’ blood.
C) A curse word in Spanish.
- Tucson dress casual means:
A) Flip-flops are OK.
B) Shorts are OK.
C) Clothes are OK.
- Mariachi music:
A) Is played with violins, trumpets and guitar.
B) Will make the deaf hear again.
C) Will make the dead hear again.
- A redneck margarita:
A) Is made with limeade, tequila and beer.
B) Is considered a slur by some rural folk.
C) Is illegal in Pima County.
- Cholla is pronounced:
A) “Choy-yah.”
B) “Cho-lah”
C) “Watch out, Marge, before you back into that … ahyee!”
- Tucson’s largest industry is:
A) Motor home sales.
B) Hip replacement surgeries.
C) Rocketry.
- Potholes:
A) Are God’s gift to tire shops.
B) Are how the Grand Canyon got started.
C) Serve as handy water retention basins during a drought.
- Caliche:
A) Is rock-hard dirt.
B) Is a dance often performed to mariachi music.
C) Would be a good nickname, as in: “That Caliche is sure a fun girl.”
- Those strange yelping noises you may hear at night could be:
A) The yowling of a coyote.
B) The wailing of fans following a loss by the Wildcats.
C) Marge, after backing into a cholla.
- Cowboy boots:
A) Should only be worn by real cowboys.
B) Should never be worn on the golf course.
C) Look darling with rhinestone spurs.
- A tarantula:
A) Is a type of folk dance popular in Italy.
B) Will travel miles and miles in search of spider love.
C) Is an enormous, hairy mutant that sprang from the desert in the 1950s following nuclear testing.
- Things you should never say to a Tucsonan:
A) “I kinda like ASU.”
B) “Dang, looks like rain today.”
C) “There’s nothing to do in this town.”
Answers:
1) A. 2) All true. 3) A. 4) A and B. 5) A. 6) C, as in Raytheon. 7) A. 8) A. 9) A and B. 10) B. 11) B. 12) All three.
- 10-12 correct:
- Are you sure you weren’t born here?
- 9-7 correct:
- You’ll do fine in any Mexican restaurant.
- 6-4 correct:
- Still OK, but just to be on the safe side, stay away from any street with “vacas” in its name.
- Three or less correct:
- Say, have you ever been to Phoenix?
