One recent trip to the drug store led to five hassles. Mr. Google informs me that a hassle is an irritating inconvenience and that the word may have derived from combining haggle and tussle. My definition is an irritating inconvenience that one not only struggles with but cannot stop from recurring.
My hassles were items from the drugstore I had trouble opening. A shower cap and cuticle remover were each locked inside cardboard my ancient fingers could not pull apart. I had to get the heavy-duty scissors I keep in the kitchen to use with recalcitrant food packages. I then had to return the scissors to the kitchen as on some occasions they are the only thing between me and starvation.
To open Lip Shimmer and something called Master Concealer I first needed to get pointy scissors to pry open some sticky tape. This was followed by a trip to the first aid kit for a hemostat (a surgical clamp used to control bleeding that I have had since I was in pediatric practice and I retired over 20 years ago.) The hemostat finally clamped on a bit of the tape so I could remove it. โTear tape?โ I call it tears tape โฆ tears of frustration.
The fifth hassle was opening a new medication prescribed for me. It required a trip to the garage to get the right size pliers that would open the bottle without destroying the lid. But I had to wait until stronger hands came home because I couldnโt get the ancient pliers to work.
I know products are tested before they go on the market. I respectfully request that products be tested not only on toddlers to ensure they CANNOT open a bottle of medication that could be harmful but also on us seniors to make sure we CAN open a medication we need. โPush down with palm while turningโ What is Plan B if lid does not budge?
Another hassle is dealing with my computer insisting on the now or later installation of upgrades and apps. Computers love to update themselves but I hate it. I need a screen that today looks exactly like it did yesterday or I panic. To be honest I can sometimes figure out where the new icons are and what they do all by myself. But often I need to call my computer guru for an installation tutorial. This is especially hassle-y when I have a deadline.
Robot calls on both my archaic land line and my cell phone, pop-up ads on the screen when I want to read an article, mailboxes stuffed with flyers โฆ I better stop this list or I will get really cranky.
True fact: I cannot stop hassles. They are entrenched in modern society. Are we oldies affected more than young folks? Maybe, because of the minor โinfirmities of age.โ Are they more common than in the past? Seems so because we are so attached to and dependent on screens. Do they ever go away? Yes, they can vanish or be replaced. I remember holding a baby in one arm and a spoon in another when the doorbell rang. At least we no longer have a Fuller Brush Man to interrupt us.
Maybe, just maybe, I will find antidotes to hassles. Deep breathing can help. I find if I stop trying to do the task and just take a โtime outโ my agitation lessens.
When I was a busy young mother with two toddlers and a full time job I learned a lot from my children. One day when I hung up the phone, distressed by hearing of the illness of my grandfather, my daughter said, โMommy why are you mad at me?โ She interpreted my frown as anger. I went to the mirror and saw she was right. I did look angry.
This taught me to take a quick peak in the mirror when I am upset. The mirror tells me there are better ways to look and feel than angry or upset. I may smile at myself, stick my tongue out, or mime an opera singer belting out an aria. This nonsense helps me find perspective.
Other things like a reading break or doing a few clues on a crossword puzzle help my agitation fade. When I go back to the hassle task it somehow seems easier.
I use a similar technique when I have misplaced something. If I go from place to place frantically trying to remember where I left the object, it eludes me. Instead I sit down, close my eyes, and try to reconstruct in my mind my actions with the object. I pretend I am a very quiet, lazy detective trying to solve the case. Amazing! It works most of the time. When it doesnโt work, the location of the permanently lost object forever remains a mystery.
I recently read an article about how nature can help young children with behavior problems. A mother wrote to ask me about her 6-year old son with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). I suggested nature walks, collecting rocks, planting a garden to teach patience.
My HA (hassle agitation) also responds to being outdoors. Just walking down to the mailbox may do it but sitting on the patio and looking at the clouds is sure to work. Itโs a nice place to wait for Strong Hands to come home and rescue me.
