Dad, daddy, papa, pops.
Whichever name they go by, dads are special — and a vital part of a child’s well-being.
“Studies show when a father is around, the child is more confident, has more self-esteem, and does better in school,” says Juan Ortega, facilities manager at Casa de los Niños. “Sometimes couples are not together, but it’s important that dad is part of the child’s life.”
Ortega, a father of one, leads a free two-part parenting class, just for dads, at Casa de los Niños. “The Dad Difference” teaches new and expecting fathers about handling prenatal and postnatal situations, bonding with baby and the importance of the father-child relationship.
The importance of that relationship can’t be underestimated — and smart dads know that.
Several years ago, Tucson lawyer Todd Hale resigned from his position as a partner at a law firm so he’d have more time for his now-7-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son. He opened his own practice, and has more flexibility to coach his kids’ sports teams — basketball, baseball, flag football — sometimes five or six days a week.
“I figured I can work more later if I have to, but my kids are only going to be in this phase of their life for a short period of time,” he says. “I worked hard for 18 years to where I could spend time with my kids, and I will definitely have to work more later, but that’s OK. ... It’s important for me to enjoy my kids now.”
Hale is one of many Tucson dads who go that extra mile for their families.
Kevin Nichols,
father of two
Kevin’s first job was working with children as an elementary teacher, and he has always loved to be around kids.
“I love watching my two girls play,” he says. “Watch them paint, watch them play with their dolls ... That’s how kids learn, through play, and it’s fun watching them learn new things.”
Both of Nichols’ daughters, ages 3 and 8, have cystic fibrosis, a life-threatening genetic disease that primarily affects the lungs and digestive system.
“He’s really unbelievably dedicated to our girls and our family,” says his wife, Anna Nichols. “With cystic fibrosis, they need lots of additional care. They have breathing treatments and feeding tubes, and he’s really involved and playful and engaged.”
Between treatments and playtimes, the couple raises funds to create awareness for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation through their business, Playformance, a play-based learning gym for kids and adults.
The life expectancy of people with cystic fibrosis is 37 years, Anna says. “So I feel like it gives us a heightened awareness of how valuable each day is. I feel like that can be a gift in a sense that we try to make the best of every stage of our children’s life, and he’s really good at that.”
All that time together means Kevin really knows his kids.
“They’re super happy girls,” he says. “They just love life. It’s fun to watch that.”
He sees it all, his wife says.
“I feel a lot of dads don’t know their kids as well as he does because he’s so involved in their lives,” Anna says. “He always plays games with them. He plays hide and seek and takes them swimming. You can just see in his eyes that he’s so in love with them.”
Mitch French, father of two
When Mitch French comes home from his job as a car salesman for Quebedeaux Buick GMC, his 7-year-old daughter Lily no longer wants Mommy.
She wants Daddy.
“They’re inseparable,” Melissa French says of her husband and daughter. “She is asking for him to be here to take a nap with her. He comes home after working and gets her ready to go to the pool, and they play in the pool forever.”
Lily has congenital hydrocephalus, an accumulation of excess fluid in the brain. She has had two brain surgeries for shunts so far. Her diagnoses also include scimitar syndrome — a condition affecting her heart and right lung — cerebral palsy, sensory processing disorder and a rare form of epilepsy. At one point, she was having dozens of seizures a day.
“We would take turns staying up all night and day with her,” Melissa says. “Plus he would go to work all day.”
Mitch usually works six days each week, often putting in 10 hours or more. The couple decided that he would work long hours so his wife could care for their little girl. Lily cannot walk unattended and needs braces and a walker or a wheelchair.
When Lily has an MRI, Mitch rides into the machine with her to keep her calm. In the spare time that he has, he builds her adaptive equipment, such as floaties for the pool or parallel bars to help her walk.
Mitch also stepped in to father Melissa’s son, Tyler Norton, after the two began dating. They have been married almost 10 years. Tyler took to his stepfather, even following in his footsteps. Mitch joined the Navy after graduating high school. Now 19, Tyler is serving with the same branch in San Diego. He calls Mitch before he calls his mother, Melissa says with a laugh.
“My son’s biological father was never in the picture, and I did it by myself for nine years, so I have seen both sides of this,” Melissa says. She considers herself lucky to have Mitch. “He’s pretty darn amazing.”
Joe DeVos, father of one
As a staff sergeant in the Air Force, Joe works odd, 12-hour shifts, often starting at 4:30 a.m. But that doesn’t stop him from waking up in the middle of the night to feed his 4-month-old so his wife, Gina, can sleep.
“He has no problem feeding Derek at all hours of the night, changing diapers, playing on the floor with him, talking to him, rocking him to sleep and being a tremendous support system for me,” Gina says. “In the past four months, he has really proved himself to be an incredible dad and such a great husband.”
That support started when Gina was pregnant.
Not only would he cook dinner, clean and run errands so she could rest, but he would also wake up with Gina at 2 or 3 a.m. to walk with her around the park in front of their home when she couldn’t sleep.
“He did so without complaint and then would go to work all day,” Gina says. “Now, he’s so proud of Derek and his little accomplishments. He’s constantly taking pictures and videos and sharing them with friends and family. ... He’s such a family man, and every decision he makes is carefully thought out as to how it will affect our family.”
Mike Graham, father of nine
Even with nine children, Mike Graham still found time to take his 12-year-old daughter out for her favorite treat.
“She and Daddy love ribs,” says Mike’s wife, Andrea Graham. “She was so ecstatic, and it made her feel special for that one night. He makes sure that he gives them their one-on-one time.”
The Grahams have a household Andrea describes as “a little bit of crazy but a whole lot of love.” The couple’s oldest son, at 22, is from Mike’s first marriage, and the next four are biologically theirs, all 16 and younger. Three of the four have high-functioning autism.
They also fostered and eventually adopted. Their Christian faith motivated their desire to foster “the harder kids, or the ones less likely to find homes,” Andrea says. They have fostered more than 40 children, and were named foster parents of the year at the 2014 March for the Children.
“We never went into it to adopt, but of course we fell in love with the children,” Andrea said. They have adopted four kids, with the most recent adoption finalized June 11. All four have medical conditions such as eosinophilia, seizures, cerebral palsy, hearing and visual impairments, Down syndrome and prenatal exposure to alcohol.
The days leading up to Father’s Day this year have been tense. Their just-adopted, 7-month-old daughter Arianna is recovering in Phoenix from heart surgery earlier this week.
“There are times when, if there is a scraped knee or they fall or trip, he is right there to scoop them up and make sure they are OK” Andrea says. “He just turns into this big old teddy bear when somebody needs him. Even this morning, as I’m falling apart to hand my daughter over to the surgeons, he not only loves on her ... but he is also comforting me.”
As a programmer for IBM, Mike works from home and helps his wife home-school their children.
“He fills a lot of shoes, but not cooking,” Andrea says, laughing. “He does a mean piece of toast, and he can grill like a boss, but don’t expect him to cook anything else. He’s the lap to sit on when the kids need a bear hug. He’s just there. He makes sure that we know we’re a priority.”
Michael Barnacastle, father of one
It might be Michael’s first Father’s Day, but he’s been a natural from the beginning, says his wife, Erina Eyjolfsdottir.
“It comes so easy to him,” Erina says. “He’s so patient and nurturing.”
Their son, Grayson, is 7 months old now, and Michael will do anything “for that little guy,” his wife says.
Even baby-wearing, something Michael swore he would never do.
“When we first found out I was pregnant and I was looking at all of these blogs on baby-wearing, I was really into it, and Michael was like, ‘I will never,’” Erina says. “But now he loves it. He goes to the grocery store wearing him in his carrier.”
Both parents work full time, but when Michael gets home first, he does the shopping and cooks dinner before Erina gets home.
When Grayson gets sick, Michael stays up with him through the night, giving him baths to cool high fevers.
And he gets up early with the baby on Saturdays so Erina can sleep in.
Though Michael and Erina have been together for eight years, Erina sees her husband in a new light since they’ve become parents.
“When you get married, you obviously love each other. But seeing him as a parent is a different type of love.”
