Dear Jeanne & Leonard:
When my granddaughter was studying to be a physician assistant, she asked me to co-sign her school loan. After a long discussion with “Emily” about her ability to repay the $30,000, I agreed to co-sign. Long story short, she graduated two years ago and found a well-paying job, but quit six months later and hasn’t found another one. Meanwhile, Emily’s made only a couple of payments on her loan. So to protect my own credit rating, I’ve had to make the payments, which is a hardship for me. I’ve explained this to Emily, but she refuses to discuss the situation or acknowledge that she has any obligation to either the lender or me. Any advice?
— Stan L., Tucson
Dear Stan:
Sounds like Emily heard Bernie Sanders’ call for free education and decided it was an idea whose time had come — for her, at least. Seriously, your granddaughter is behaving shamefully. If you haven’t already done so, talk to her parents or some other relative she respects or generally defers to. Perhaps one of them can convince her that she has a moral obligation to begin paying off her loan and reimbursing you for the payments you’ve made.
If that doesn’t work, talk to a lawyer about your obligations regarding the loan and your options for collecting from Emily. Sound harsh? Well, consider this: You won’t be doing your granddaughter any favors if you allow her to shirk her first real adult financial responsibility. Your young debt-dodger needs to understand that there are obligations in life from which people are not free to walk away.
Dear Jeanne & Leonard:
What does one shopper owe another shopper? I recently bought six cinnamon rolls at the bakery, the last six they had. As the counter clerk was placing the rolls in a bag, a woman behind me in line asked me if she could have two of them. I said I was sorry, but I needed them. So she became indignant. Not only that, the clerk and the other customers also seemed to get mad at me. Did I really owe it to this woman, who came into the store after I did, to let her have part of my order?
— J.T., Bakersfield, California
Dear J.T.:
Did this woman think these were the only cinnamon rolls in Bakersfield? Or did she simply believe it was your obligation to spare her the inconvenience of going to another bakery? No matter. Everyone who frequents them understands that bakeries routinely run out of goods during the course of the day. Which means customers who don’t want to find a shelf empty need to get there early, not try to shame others who’ve beaten them to the punch.
Look, it’s not as if you were buying up all the batteries in the hours before a hurricane. You were buying cinnamon rolls. That angry mob at the bakery apparently forgot how a line works — you know, the old principle of “first come, first served.”
