Be honest: how many times have you put on a "Hot Ones" YouTube video and thought to yourself, I can take on the spiciest wings without even breaking a sweat.
Despite watching the biggest celebrities tear up and beg for ice cream as they eat the hottest wings alongside interviewer Sean Evans, you feel like you’d be the exception, taking each wing on like a champ.
The guests are just being dramatic; there is no way a hot sauce can make you agonize in pain, right? I mean, Evans does it in every video and can still conduct a full interview without begging for relief.
I hate to burst your bubble, but I’m here to tell you that the "Hot Ones" challenge is in fact as bad as the celebrities make it seem.
As I was running around my apartment with tears in my eyes, chugging any drink I could find in my fridge, I longed for the time when my mouth wasn’t on fire.
But before I get ahead of myself, let’s go back to earlier in the night when my tongue wasn’t burning and my "Hot Ones" confidence was at an all-time high.
Earlier this month, Tucson's own Barrio Brewing Co. announced they would be partnering with "Hot Ones," the popular Youtube channel where Evans interviews celebrities as they take on spicy wings. While you can’t order the wings at the restaurant, they are available for pick-up at 800 E. 16th St. and through delivery apps.
As the #ThisIsTucson food reporter, I felt it was my duty to try these wings and report back to you all, figuring out once and for all if these wings are the real deal. Plus, there is no better way to spend a Saturday night than eating crispy juicy chicken wings for the sake of research.
When it comes to spice, I am admittedly a bit of a baby. I love spicy food, but it doesn’t take much for my nose to start running and my mouth to start buzzing. But as I patiently waited for my wings to be delivered, my confidence started to grow: what if I’m the exception?!?
I ordered the Challenge Pack, which comes with 12 wings and six official "Hot Ones" sauces. The sauces start off mild and eventually get hotter, working your way up to The Last Dab: Apollo sauce.
The Challenge Box comes with 12 wings and six sauces, starting from mild and gradually getting hotter.
When the wings arrived, I poured myself a glass of milk and was ready to get to business. The first sauce I had to tackle was the Classic Chili Maple. I dunked my wing in and took a big bite; not bad at all!
The sauce reminded me of Red Devil hot sauce. It was on the watery side and had a prominent vinegar flavor. I could’ve easily eaten the whole thing; I didn’t even have to reach for my water or milk.
Next up was the Original Buffalo. It tasted exactly like it sounds. It was a really delicious tangy Buffalo sauce. I loved the flavor of this one and like the previous sauce, I didn’t think it was spicy at all. It was a good, classic buffalo wing.
Now it was time to move to the Los Calientes Verdes sauce. This green sauce reminded me of tomatillo salsa and I was so excited to try. This sauce was the best one I tried! It was limey and tart, with the slightest spice to it. My mouth was starting to buzz, but not in a bad way. My water still remained untouched and my confidence was growing.
The next sauce, Los Calientes Rojo, started to scare me a little. Usually, red chile sauce is spicy for me so I was mentally preparing myself for the real challenge to start kicking in. But to my surprise, it wasn’t too bad.
Like the ones before, this sauce had a slight spice to it, but nothing to start doubling in pain over. Weirdly enough, I thought it kind of tasted like a spicy barbecue sauce. It was good on the wings and I enjoyed eating it.
Now my confidence was at an all-time high. I hadn’t had anything too spicy yet and I only had two sauces left. I was starting to think to myself, these are the sauces that were making Bad Bunny cry?!
I was SO wrong.
I took a bite of the Los Calientes Barbacoa sauce and immediately started crying. My mouth was on fire and my lips were numb. The sauce didn’t even taste good; it was just pure heat from first bite. I instantly reached for my glass of milk and started chugging, but it was only making it worse.
In fact, anything I did for relief made it worse. Water, milk and talking only intensified my pain. I had to get up and walk around in circles while fanning my face to try to distract myself from the fire that was in my mouth.
After I finally was able to get some relief, a horrible thought hit me: I still had to take on the last sauce, the famous Last Dab. I had one more sauce left, the hottest one in the box, and I didn’t know how I was going to be able to do it.
I kept trying to put off the last wing, whining about how much I really didn’t want to do it. But I had talked such a big game, I had to finish what I started.
I dipped my wing in The Last Dab: Apollo sauce, closed my eyes and took a bite. Then...
Nothing.
Weirdly my mouth wasn’t on fire and I started to laugh. How could the hottest sauce in the box not get any kind of reaction out of me?
But then out of nowhere it hit me.
My mouth started buzzing and my lips were stinging. The heat took a while to develop, but when it did it was unbearable. It was getting spicier by the second and tears were streaming down my cheeks.
Again, no milk or water were any help. I just had to ride it out, feeling like I was being tortured. It truly felt like my mouth was never going to be normal again. Everything hurt and there was nothing I could do to help it.
After riding out the pain, there was only one thing I could do: order a chocolate chip pazookie with vanilla ice cream. After that whirlwind of a challenge, I deserved a sweet treat to distract from the pain I had gone through.
But now I know — and I will never judge another celebrity for crying on "Hot Ones" again.
Check out the "Hot Ones" delivery website to order your wings in Tucson.
