Dawson Johannes, 22
I applied to 130 jobs this summer. Radio silence. I’m gonna be completely honest, it got to the point that I didn’t even look at the company anymore: If it was an entry-level engineering job, I applied for it. I had two applications out at Tesla. I applied to Siemens, Calspan, Lactalis, Roswell Park, Sumitomo, General Mills. That would have been such a cool position, are you kidding me? "Cereal engineer." But they said they already filled it. Other companies told me they were sorry, the position had been eliminated. Most just never responded.
I didn’t think it would be that tough, even with everything that was going on. I’m a very strong candidate. I graduated from Clarkson in May, and it has a really competitive engineering program. Engineering isn’t necessarily my dream job. I’m also, I guess you could say, a musician. I record and engineer music for fun. And I work on a lot of old vehicles, there’s always one in the driveway. We’re kind of gearheads: me, my dad and my brother.
"My mind would just go in circles – you’re aware of what I mean by that? I had these dumb thoughts that meant nothing, they just circled my head, escalating and escalating, until I felt panicky and it was like, no – stop that."
But that kind of stuff doesn’t pay the bills. Engineering does. And that’s part of why I got an engineering degree. It’s a secure field, it’s versatile. My brother and my dad are also engineers, and my brother and I are really close. I watched him graduate, get a job and move out just a couple of years ago.
Nowadays, though, I guess you can’t assume job security in any field. Over the summer, that really stressed me out. I knew the world sucked and I was doing everything I could do, that it wasn’t anybody’s fault. But I was medicated for anxiety years ago, and sitting at my parents’ house all day, not doing a whole lot, I reverted to some of my old habits. My mind would just go in circles – you’re aware of what I mean by that? I had these dumb thoughts that meant nothing, they just circled my head, escalating and escalating, until I felt panicky and it was like, no – stop that.
Out of work in Western New York: Portraits of uncertainty, anxiety and resilience
The biggest thing I noticed was getting out of bed in the morning. I hate that that became a problem. But it was so depressing to just wake up and sit at my desk every day and apply to every entry-level job on Indeed and LinkedIn, doing the same stupid application for different companies, over and over and over and over and over and over again. Months went by and nothing happened. So I was like, why do I even bother? What the hell am I doing? What the hell am I gonna do? My life isn’t going anywhere right now and I can’t envision how to move forward.
"It was so depressing to just wake up and sit at my desk every day and apply to every entry-level job on Indeed and LinkedIn, doing the same stupid application for different companies, over and over and over and over and over and over again."
And to be clear – there are people who have it so much worse than me, and I recognize that I am super-privileged. I had the option to move back with my parents. I don’t have a rent or a mortgage. But like, without discounting everything else in the world, I did want to have a college graduation. I did want to finish out my last semester from someplace other than the kitchen table. And yeah, of course, I wanted to get a job and a car and live my life as an adult. I don’t think I realized how much I was looking forward to those goals.
But if I wanted to be metaphorical, I would say this experience solidified for me how people are naturally resilient, I guess. Because I did feel awful about myself and my life for months – and then everything changed really fast.
Dawson Johannes talks about applying to more than 120 jobs after graduating from Clarkson University in the middle of the pandemic. He has since found a job as a quality control engineer at a local manufacturing plant.
In July, my brother got a job at GM in Lockport as a quality engineer. If it weren’t for that, I’d still be unemployed. He recommended me to his former boss at Delfingen, which makes fiberglass sleeving for the automotive industry, and they hired me to fill his position. It is a quality engineering job, which, well – it’s not something I want to make a career of. My degree is in mechanical engineering, and while this also has the word "engineer" in it, a lot of what I do is enter quality claims and customer complaints and that kind of stuff. My salary expectations were pretty low, too, and I’m still under what I hoped for. But it’s not bad. It’s just one of those things, you know?
"Mostly I feel more stable now. More grounded than I did in the months I couldn’t find a position. Obviously not every day is a good day, but I’m getting there, and the job’s a huge part of that."
Mostly I feel more stable now. More grounded than I did in the months I couldn’t find a position. Obviously not every day is a good day, but I’m getting there, and the job’s a huge part of that. Having the structure in my life, getting up early every day, being able to look at my budget and see when I can move out. I want to feel confident in what I’m doing every day, and I’m getting there. Just a bit later than I thought.
My brother has started talking to his landlord about moving out, so we can maybe get an apartment together. And I bought a car, that was validating – my old one was 17 years old, I was sick of fixing it. The other week I also spoke to my ex-girlfriend for the first time since we broke up. We dated for four years in college. I think if I didn’t have a job, I would have been in a different headspace, I wouldn’t have been able to reach out to her like that.
I don’t know what’s going to happen with her now, or really with anything else. I do plan to start applying for jobs again, once I get my feet wet in my current position. I’m telling myself that this period is going to be a steppingstone for me and a lot of other people; a lot of college graduates can’t get jobs. I mean, look, I still haven't heard back about those applications yet. And this is four, five months later.
— As told to Caitlin Dewey. Interviews have been condensed and edited for clarity.
About this series
Americans have endured economic crises before but none quite like this. To capture the depths of the suffering, The Buffalo News teamed up with the New York Times and 10 local news organizations across the country to document the lives of Americans who found themselves out of work.
For months, we followed them as they dialed unemployment hotlines, applied for hundreds of jobs and counted every dollar in their bank accounts for rent and food. All of it while trying to survive a pandemic.
Read stories from across the country in the New York Times: Out of Work in America
Read stories from Buffalo Niagara: Out of Work in Western New York