Let's be real. When guys get together, they're probably not talking about child development 2 a.m. feedings, changing diapers and how to be a good father.
But dads — especially new ones — need to be able to talk about this stuff.
That's one of the biggest reasons Allan Stockellburg, TOPS (Teen Outreach Pregnancy Services) Dad Facilitator, started his dads-only classes — 24/7 Dad and Boot Camp for New Dads — two years ago.
"Not a lot of men have men in their life to talk about parenting," Stockellburg said. "It's a support for other men, to find out what fatherhood looks like to other men."
TOPS recently formed a partnership with Pima County Public Library to hold the classes for free at different branches, making them accessible for everybody.
Stockellburg says that father involvement plays a big part in teen pregnancy prevention.
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The classes teach new dads about how to be involved and how to be good fathers.
This program is designed for expectant first-time fathers, preferably in the last trimester.
"It's when things start to get real. You feel the baby move and experience a lot more things that make it real," Stockellburg said.
The class is one three hour session with expectant dads and a new dad who actually brings his baby to class. It's led by Stockellburg who is also a father of two.
Having a new dad in the room with his baby is important because he is in the trenches of early fatherhood and will be able to talk about what he's going through, Stockellburg said.
"The gist is we sit in a room for three hours and prove we're gonna survive," Stockellburg said. "That this group of men have arrived at the end of it and are surviving and thriving."
Topics covered are communication with the baby's mother, teamwork, 2 a.m. feedings, calming and soothing fussy babies, sleep patterns, postpartum depression, baby blues and shaken baby syndrome.
"We talk a lot about shaken baby syndrome as we know 78 percent of victims are at the hands of men," Stockellburg said. "So, we address that with men and look at some stress reducing techniques and things to do when you're holding a baby and you're angry."
The veteran dads in the room will talk about everything from the birth experience to what it's like having a new baby in the house and even dump out their diaper bags to show how many things you have to carry around when you have a new baby.
Participants of the class are encouraged to come back after their babies are born to speak as veteran dads in future classes.
Tyler Knight, a father of three kids has been to the workshops repeatedly.
He said it is really helpful to be in a room full of dads that are all experiencing similar situations. Plus, the advice on how to communicate with your partner and how to handle the kids has helped him be a better dad.
It's happening 9 a.m. October 15 at Woods Memorial Library, which is located at 3455 N. First Ave.
Click here to register.
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Boot Camp for Dads is a three hour workshop for new dads.
Richard Gonzalez hanging out with his baby Kameron.
The curriculum for this program is from the National Fatherhood Iniative, a non-profit that works to end father absence.
It's designed to approach fatherhood from a holistic approach in that they talk about being a good man, being a good partner regardless of romantic status and being a good father, Stockellburg said.
"To be a good dad you have to be a good man, so we look at it from that perspective," Stockellburg said. "We look at being caring, resilient, trustworthy and responsible."
It includes classes in communication, coparenting, understanding emotion, child's brain development and discipline strategies.
After taking the classes, Vincent White, a father of two, said he was able to understand his kids better and it was one of the best things he could have done to better himself as a father.
"The class, to me was really educational and easy to comprehend," White said. "We were taught how to recognize our emotions, how to understand our child's behaviors, to understand our partners, communication with one another, relationships with our fathers, what fathers we want to be and how to parent in our own way."
The class will meet for two hours at 5:30 p.m. every Tuesday from October 4 to December 20.
The program is free, but you do need to register in advance. Do that here.
3 Tips for dads from dads
Allan Stockellburg: "Don't let nerves get in the way of anything. Just jump in and get your hands dirty. Dads are on the job learners. We're gonna make mistakes, but you can' let that get in the way of attachment and bonding. Don't be afraid to do things your way."
Vincent White: "It's never too late and never be scared to ask for advice and become the best dad you can be."
Tyler Knight: "Just have patience and don't get mad."
